u/ChampionshipShot5122

I (19F) have a friend (21F) that I started hanging out with back in 2023. We’ve been through a lot together, but lately, she’s really starting to suffocate me. Hanging out with her mostly boils down to her talking about her past situationships. Of course, I don’t mind when my friends talk about their exes and dating drama (we all do it) but she completely overdoes it, constantly analyzing the exact same events a million times, and she’s pretty delusional about it. I always listen to her and give her advice, even though this goes on for months until someone new comes along, and then the cycle repeats.
The problem arises because I’m the type of person who doesn’t really like texting much - I prefer talking to people in person when we go out. On the other hand, she’s the type of person who will send 18 voice notes that are 10 minutes long each, usually about some dating drama. I really hate that (and I’ve already pointed out to her that I don’t like texting), so sometimes it happens that I don't reply for a couple of days - meaning I only listen to all those voice notes and reply after a few days. This bothers her, and she constantly throws it in my face.
She also very often tries to make plans with me for trips and things like that, and after I tell her that I can't afford it financially, she tries to find solutions in a very passive-aggressive way (for example, telling me that I’m unorganized and that I should ask my parents for money, which I refuse to do).
She is very direct in her communication and highly confrontational, which I actually appreciate, but I'm bothered by her highly passive-aggressive attitude when she attacks me.
Lately, I’ve started wondering if I’m really an awful friend, but I notice that she has a very small number of friends (she often talks badly of her other friends to me which is also a red flag in my opinion) and generally lacks stable relationships in her life, which leads me to believe that I’m not the problem.
I’ve wanted to distance myself from her for months now, but I have no idea how to approach the problem. I’m usually not a people pleaser, but when it comes to her specifically, I find it very hard to stand up to her. It causes me a lot of anxiety, and I honestly don't know why.
I might be the asshole because I do leave her on read for days and ignore her messages instead of just confronting her directly about how much it bothers me.

I (19F) have a friend (21F) that I started hanging out with back in 2023. We’ve been through a lot together, but lately, she’s really starting to suffocate me. Hanging out with her mostly boils down to her talking about her past situationships. Of course, I don’t mind when my friends talk about their exes and dating drama (we all do it) but she completely overdoes it, constantly analyzing the exact same events a million times, and she’s pretty delusional about it. I always listen to her and give her advice, even though this goes on for months until someone new comes along, and then the cycle repeats.
The problem arises because I’m the type of person who doesn’t really like texting much - I prefer talking to people in person when we go out. On the other hand, she’s the type of person who will send 18 voice notes that are 10 minutes long each, usually about some dating drama. I really hate that (and I’ve already pointed out to her that I don’t like texting), so sometimes it happens that I don't reply for a couple of days - meaning I only listen to all those voice notes and reply after a few days. This bothers her, and she constantly throws it in my face.
She also very often tries to make plans with me for trips and things like that, and after I tell her that I can't afford it financially, she tries to find solutions in a very passive-aggressive way (for example, telling me that I’m unorganized and that I should ask my parents for money, which I refuse to do).
She is very direct in her communication and highly confrontational, which I actually appreciate, but I'm bothered by her highly passive-aggressive attitude when she attacks me.
Lately, I’ve started wondering if I’m really an awful friend, but I notice that she has a very small number of friends (she often talks badly of her other friends to me which is also a red flag in my opinion) and generally lacks stable relationships in her life, which leads me to believe that I’m not the problem.
I’ve wanted to distance myself from her for months now, but I have no idea how to approach the problem. I’m usually not a people pleaser, but when it comes to her specifically, I find it very hard to stand up to her. It causes me a lot of anxiety, and I honestly don't know why.
I might be the asshole because I do leave her on read for days and ignore her messages instead of just confronting her directly about how much it bothers me.