I don’t have a photo but they give me the heebies. They have super long legs and they’ve taken up residence behind some panels.
I’m in zone 6B if that helps.
Edit: it’s been raining for a few days so I can’t get a photo of them. The weather will clear up tomorrow so I will try my best!
I am NACHO to an extent. I’m still heavily involved in events and birthdays, otherwise not my place. We also have the eldest living with us.
In the past, I used to send the kids off with full meals, baked goods, fruit, new clothes…etc until we found out the biomom was throwing it all away. She wouldn’t even let her kids eat the fruit and would lie to them that it was “rotten” as an excuse to toss it out.
Once we found out we stopped and instead keep clothes at home the youngest can wear with us and then she can wear her original clothes to go back. As for food, we keep it with us and she’s free to eat to her hearts content.
I did not address the biomom, talking to her never gets us anywhere. She is extremely defensive and selfish. Instead, we changed our habits, spoke to the kids so they understood (without placing blame) and kept it pushing.
I’m writing this so other stepmoms can understand that being NACHO is not a bad move, it doesn’t mean you hate the children. It means making comfortable boundaries for everyone. When the children need me I am there 110%. Otherwise I take the place of a guardian rather than a stepmom. I step in when needed and only when needed. I don’t enforce, I support.
I, myself have not spoken to the biomom in several years to keep the peace as she has tried to use my words in the past to harm the kids. My husband speaks and lets me know what’s happening. Obviously everyone’s situation is not the same thus the title. But it works for us.