u/CharacterCall6406

Feels like this has happened too many times...and what's weirder is not even a unmatch so it's just stuck there.

I should mention that I'm a 33M. Delayed response is fine because I know women are probably talking to a few guys at a time.

I tend to try to keep my conversations cleaned up so I unmatch if i get ghosted. What does everyone else do? I feel the follow up after a ghost is pretty awkward while an unmatch is a bit of closure of like "ok didn't work out. Time to move on"

My last opener was saying something like "is it sad that I can tell where a photos location is based on a sandwich?"... Perhaps not sexy enough..

F$#! I'm doomed 😅

Would you say you have them? What do think is one of the key things that make this happen?

I (M) grew up with a group of friends who eventually fell off the face of the earth when they found a partner. Sure no problems..I get effort goes into investing time into a relationship. I guess when it comes to yearly gathering when finally all of us agreed on a time to grab dinner, there is still the situation where partners go mingle among themselves and the friends chat away and just feel like there is no connection with them.

On the otherhand, I have made friends from work and their partners where I feel I have a good relationship with both parties. I go third wheel with them and it's a great time and no mind games thinking about trying to include partners or working through this small talk of "how's work.."

I've since distanced myself from the first group of friends. Cases of where I felt rather manipulated where one of them would basically gaslight me for not being available one time for an event for every 10 events they were unable to attend and always needing to work on their schedule. Said person also went through a divorce and they were super available and asking to meet and you know what I offered my time because I wanted to and just kept receiving that type of behaviour back until I said no more and stopped meeting with these guys. Now it's weird because occasionally they send me a message to see if I want to grab a bite..it's almost like my distancing has suddenly made them become available.

I feel like I'm probably worst for it not having a social circle but definitely mentally better.

Sorry this turned into a vent! I suppose the first line was my main question. Would love to hear if anyone has had similar experiences of either scenarios and how you got out that hole a little? I constantly feel like I messed it up doing what I did but then I take the perspective my mental health is wayyyy better that then it was probably worth it?