u/Character_Ability_25

Being raised by them has made me feel so out of place in my own family. My dad is married, but he still sleeps with my mom, so he always sides with her no matter how wrong she is. Everything about their relationship and the way they live is completely opposite of who I want to be. My brother has been to jail, and my mom’s behavior toward me from childhood until now has honestly been nothing but painful to reflect on. The older I get, the more I realize how unhealthy everything was.

I’m scared sometimes that I’ll end up like them just because I was raised around it. I want a peaceful life, a healthy marriage, and eventually children that never have to question if they’re loved. I don’t want chaos, manipulation, or toxic relationships. I don’t want to hurt people the way I was hurt.

I’ve decided once I move out I’m going no contact, but that decision breaks my heart too. I wonder what I’ll even tell my future husband about my family situation. It’s embarrassing and painful to explain. I hate that narcissism and dysfunction affect so many families, and seeing how many other people relate to these experiences honestly makes me sad for the world.

I think what scares me most is becoming my mother. She never had a successful relationship and so much of my childhood was hurtful. I keep asking myself: what if I turn into her without realizing it? I want to break the cycle so badly.

I don’t really know how to word this, I just need advice from people outside my situation.

I’m living with my mom while I pay down debt so I can eventually leave. But being here is honestly making me feel miserable and mentally exhausted.

My mom and I clash a lot, and it feels like everything I do gets criticized or turned into a problem. My dad is still legally married to someone else but is involved with my mom, and he usually agrees with her in arguments and says I’m “jealous,” which makes me feel dismissed and like my feelings don’t matter.

There’s also a lot of family tension overall. My brother has been in trouble with the law, but it feels like he’s often defended or excused, while I’m the one who gets blamed or attacked in conflicts. I try hard to stay responsible and out of trouble, but I still end up feeling like I’m the problem.

I’m staying here because I feel like I have to finish paying this debt before I can leave, but every day it feels heavier. I’m constantly stressed, I cry a lot when I’m alone, and I feel like I’m just pretending to be okay to get through the day.

I didn’t grow up imagining things would feel like this with my family. I feel stuck, emotionally drained, and scared that this situation is affecting how I see myself and my future.

I’m not trying to make impulsive decisions—I just don’t know how to cope while I’m stuck here or how to realistically plan a way out that’s stable and safe.

If anyone has been through something similar or has advice on how to get through this and move forward, I really need it.