u/ChartreusePeriwinkle

(I'm a middle-aged woman treated for ADHD and anxiety). Sometimes after a social event where I express emotions, I end up feeling *extremely* embarrassed. Is this RSD?

Example:

Last night I attended my annual HOA meeting. It was virtual, so I invited a couple neighbors over to watch it together. I was looking forward to socializing as I'm quite lonely. I cleaned the house, bought snacks, setup my big monitor in the dinning room. As soon as the meeting started, I got so emotionally worked up. I was speaking up a lot, passionate but also a little snippy, interrupting people, mind racing. I meant everything I said and I didn't do anything wrong, per se.

But afterward I get hit with a wall of embarrassment! Like cringing hard about showing so much emotion. I feel immature, weak, rude, "extra". I imagine everyone's negative reactions and how they're judging me. Normally, I'm quite stoic and flat. But when I do feel empassioned about something I hate how I behave. Plus when I'm socializing, I get even more worked up because I'm so excited to be hanging out with friends. It's like I devolve into an annoying teenager or something.

Anyway, just curious if my strong embarrassment sounds like RSD? Versus social anxiety, or autistic emotional/behavioral issues. I'm trying to find the cause so I can target treatment. Thanks!

My 18 yr old son has mild autism and ADHD. He is a senior in high school.

He is addicted to video games. They are his special interest. The only thing that brings him comfort, so he says. He plays them every minute he is not at school or sleeping.

I have parental controls on it so there is a bedtime of 8pm when the games turn off. It's the same schedule every night, very predictable.

Last night he had a tantrum and this morning he didn't care at all.

Last night his games turned off at 8pm, and he started yelling for more time. Then he rushed down to my bedroom to beg for more time. "Mom mom mom mom mom". I said no, as I always do. He then came at me, threw his console, hitting me pretty hard in the shoulder. I calmly picked up the console and asked him to take deep breaths and relax. He kept complaining that he just needed a few more minutes to play his games. I said no. He then smashed his console on the floor, actually breaking it. He said he was quitting school, might as well kill himself, then went to bed.

This morning he gets up for school acting like everything is normal. The broken console sitting on the counter in pieces, and he didn't even acknowledge it. He started chatting about prom next weekend, and I said I didn't want to talk to him until he apologized.

Him: apologize for what?

Me: for what happened last night.

Him: why, it was my problem.

Me: you made it *my* problem when you hit me with the games. you might've bruised my shoulder.

Him: I was aiming for your face.

Me: ....

Then he went off to school.

After all these years I still don't know how to deal with this emotionally. I'm so angry and hurt, but I'm just supposed to ignore that because he feels nothing? I already know lecturing him accomplishes little.

Plus now I'm terrified of what's going to happen now he doesn't have games. All our family/friends pitched in to buy him that video game console for his last birthday, shit costs $700 now a days. I'm not buying another one. So.... is he going to be pissed every day now? Ugh it feels endless.