u/CheCheDaWaff

Hi, welcome to the flags megathread. As many of you are likely aware the asexuality flag and proposed alternatives have become a frequent topic over the past few weeks on this sub.

While discussing the flag is acceptable in isolation it has become part of a repetitive trend that generates many posts with little variation.

From now on please use this megathread instead of making a post. All new flag posts will be removed.

For context here are some of the more prominent posts about this topic (by no means exhaustive):

• AVEN board shares statement regarding recent events
• Opinions/Thoughts on New Ace Flag?
• So, I have some thoughts on the new flag (CE: Discussion of Race)
• Is there really a new Ace flag?
• Opinion about the flag (probably extremely unpopular).
• I don't think we need a new flag; our flag is very beautiful and we're used to it. The new flag is also kind of ugly and looks a bit like the non-binary flag (my other flag), but that's just my opinion.
• From an Italian asexual blog, about the so-called "new flag"

This subreddit has a companion website which includes a detailed FAQ about asexuality and related topics.

There are many other resources beyond the FAQ as well, including:

Experiences • Glossary • Relationships advice • Grey-asexuality

You can find a list of all FAQs here: https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/faq.html. For convenience, the list of links is also included below, and in the comments you can find some "common asexual experiences" which people often find useful to hear.

Note that some of the FAQs haven't been written yet, are incomplete, or are in a draft phase. If you have any suggestions for changes, improvements, or for additional FAQs, just let us know via modmail.

###General questioning

Am I asexual? • Am I aromantic? • What is asexuality? • The a-spectra (Includes: "What is sexual attraction?", "What is romantic attraction?", "What is sensual / aesthetic attraction?", "What is platonic / alterous attraction?")

###"But what if..."

Can I be asexual if I have romantic feelings? • Can I be asexual if I masturbate? • Can I be asexual and gay / lesbian? • Can I be asexual if I get erections? • Can I be asexual if I have fantasies? • Can I be asexual if I consume pornography / erotica? • Can I be asexual if I have a kink or fetish? • What if I just haven't met the right person yet? • Am I too young to identify as asexual? • Do I need to try sex before I decide if I'm asexual or not? • What if it's just a hormonal imbalance? • What it I'm this way because of trauma?

###The nature of asexuality

What's the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? • What's the difference between sexual attraction and arousal? • Is asexuality really a sexual orientation? • Is asexual really a sexual orientation? • Is asexuality a mental illness? • Is the definition of sexual attraction what aces say it is? • Isn't everyone demisexual? • Can someone become asexual? / can sexuality change? • What's the difference between HSDD and asexuality? • Don't people need sex? What about Maslow's hierarchy? • How common is asexuality? (Includes: "Are most asexuals women, or men?", "Are all women asexual?")

###Asexuals and sex

Do asexual people have sex? • Why do asexual people have sex? • How can you like sex and be asexual at the same time? • Do asexual people masturbate? • Do asexual people like kissing?

###Asexuality in society

Are asexual people LGBT? • Are asexual people straight? • Do asexual people experience oppression? • Why do asexuals feel the need to come out? • Why do asexual people need to label themselves? • Why do asexual people wear sexy clothes / makeup? • Why does representation matter?

###Asexuals and relationships

How can you have a relationship without sex? • What's the difference between a QPR and a romantic (non-sexual) relationship? • Should I tell my partner that I'm asexual? • How can I convince my partner I still love them? • My partner is asexual. Should we break up?

###On the nature of allosexuality

What does sexual attraction feel like? • What does arousal feel like? • How often do allosexuals think about sex? • What is love? • Why does sex sell?

###Advice

Am I broken? • Should I come out as asexual? • How can I relate to / interact with allosexuals? • How can I be less angry / upset? • How can I become asexual? • How can I support asexuals?

###Other

I'm writing an asexual character. What should I consider? • Isn't the term 'allosexual' offensive?

Hi, you may know me as the lead moderator of r/asexuality and the author of the Asexuality Handbook.

I'm looking to collect some quotes from members of the asexuality community for an upcoming non-fiction book about the orientation. Since it's pride month I thought it would be interesting to hear about positive experiences and how asexuality fits into the idea of queerness.

If you're interested please post your experiences / stories with for example:

• Asexuality as something to be joyful of and not an illness or something you wish you could change or are ashamed of.
• The experience of finding a community in queer or asexual spaces.
• Whether you relate to the broader queer community and how / why.
• Seeing yourself represented in media or broader culture.

Or anything else you'd like to share.

If you would like to comment without being included in the book just let me know. You can also message me privately if you prefer / want to be included anonymously.