Am I getting ghosted or pushed away by self sabotage?
Went out with this girl for 2.5-4 months we went out 6 times, and after the first two dates it was really lovey dove we are in our mid 20s. We got aligned in marriage and kids and everything in between.
After second date she was pulling away, but liking my tiktok stories and sending me videos, I was sending her and swiping on her stories and everything felt normal there. I called her a couple days later because she didn’t respond. She said she was going through some family issues and work issues, because she travels for work weekly. Her family drama I won’t mention out of respect and that I know is real and probably traumatizing for her. But we ended up meeting again for a couple of other dates
they went even better super lovey dovey, and they admited that they were trying to push me away and that I was to perfect and that I kept trying and kept proving my self and it seemed like she liked it. She also said she never had a man like me and was a afraid of getting hurt. I said wtf lol like I won’t do that, she reposted a video before we started going out about something about someone afraid of commitment because of past trauma.
We were supposed to hang out, and she flaked due to work stress and the family member doing something, and she rescheduled. We weren’t able to because of a holiday and we pushed for another week. We were not able to hang out becuase of the family member again and I didn’t push it I said no preasure we will figure it out.
Fast forward week after that we talked here and there I said I was leaving for a trip, and wanted to see them before i left, they ignored the fact I asked to hangout but was asking where u going, and sent me a song from a playlist I sent. I got pretty confused and played it cool. I asked one more time before I left and didn’t really get any feedback. I left her alone for almost 10 days and sent a photo of something she is passionate about and didn’t get a reply back. I waited till i got back almost another week to call, I got a text back saying I can’t talk right now. It is touching a week and not sure how to approach this.
Not sure what to do, her birthday is coming up in mid June I was thinking of buying her flowers and giving her space.
Or sending another text and inviting her for a cup of coffee or just asking how her projects are going at work. Another think potentially is just calling it out and say are you ghosting me or do u need space? Or just asking to go listen to some music and chill. I am not sure, to be honest, I fell in love as cheesy as it sounds and I am hurt because I don't want to lose her to someone else, I get we are young, but it took me years to recover from my ex. I am a secure attached person but this made me anxiously attatched.
The only reason I am hopeful is because she did this last month, and because I dated a girl before this who did the same thing, her parents got a divorce and I was smothering her with texts. With this girl I am not pushing. Thank you in advance for your help