u/CheekComprehensive27

I (22F) recently graduated with my bachelor’s and moved back to my small hometown for a full-time legal assistant job. The pay is low, there’s little room for growth, and being back here is taking a toll on my mental health. I even just went through a breakup where my ex partner stated that me moving back to my hometown put a strain on our relationship, and I’m just ready to leave and upgrade.

I have family in a much bigger city a few hours away who offered to let me live with them rent-free if I found a job there. I’ve interviewed for two positions:

1. Customer Service Representative
   $2/hr more than my current job
   Full benefits
   Lots of coworkers and diversity
   20 minutes from my family’s house, and in another new city

2. Paralegal at a small law firm
   Same pay as my current job
   No benefits mentioned
   In the same town as my family in the new bigger city
   Older, male boss (I never had a male boss before)
   Similar responsibilities and software to my current job, so I’d have an easier transition

Here’s where I’m conflicted. The attorney is an older man who seemed VERY impressed with me during the interview. He repeatedly complimented my intelligence and demeanor, said I’d be a great addition to his firm, and encouraged me to consider law school, even after I explained that I don’t really want to be an attorney.

He also mentioned being open to increasing my pay over time, but we never discussed specific numbers or benefits. He currently has three other employees, all in their mid-50s or older.

I like the idea of continuing to build my legal experience as that’s my intended field, but I’m not interested in accepting the same low pay I’m already making just because it’s what I already know. The customer service job already offers better compensation and benefits, although it isn’t directly related to my career interests.

What would you do? Should I email the attorney and negotiate for higher pay and benefits before making a decision, or take the job that already offers more?

I (22F) work as a legal assistant at a small law firm run entirely by Black women. It’s my boss (the attorney), three paralegals (one is my boss’s mom, 56F), me, and two interns. I work the front desk, handle calls, text clients, and also have my own cases doing paralegal-type work, so I’m usually juggling multiple things at once.

A few days ago, my boss’s mom was training one of the interns and asked me to hand the intern the office Iphone and teach her how to answer calls since that’s one of my main responsibilities. I said no problem. The intern sat beside me, but I was in the middle of texting a client and documenting the conversation because my boss had asked me to get information about the client’s case. I showed and explained the intern what I was doing and told her, “Give me one second to respond to the client.”

My coworker stood there watching us. I asked if there was anything else she wanted me to train the intern on, and she responded, “I’m just wondering why you still have the phone in your hand when I told you to give it to her.”

I explained that I was actively helping a client and would hand the phone over as soon as I finished. She kept repeating that she had already told me to give the intern the phone so she could learn. We went back and forth several times before another coworker stepped in and told me to just give the intern the phone. I did because I didn’t want to argue anymore, but I felt like I was being treated as if I was refusing when I had only asked for a minute to finish helping a client.

A few days later, our firm was making plans for a community volunteer event, we would have a table along with other business giving out school supplies. I had already told my boss I wanted to help. We were told it had been moved to December, so I assumed that was the plan. Later I overheard coworkers talking about it like it was happening sooner, but no one ever told me the date had changed.

This morning, my boss and coworkers texted asking if I was coming because the event was apparently today. It was a Saturday, unpaid, and my boss wasn’t even attending. I rolled over and went back to sleep because I felt frustrated that everyone knew I asked to volunteer but nobody had bothered to tell me the date changed, I didn’t want to go that bad knowing I’d show up lowkey pissed and unprepared.

Some of this may be influenced by the fact that I’ve outgrown this job. I recently graduated college, had to defer grad school because I couldn’t afford it, and I’m doing paralegal-level work for legal assistant pay in a stressful office. I’m already looking for another job.
AITAH for pushing back when my coworker insisted I immediately stop helping a client, and for not going to the volunteer event after no one told me the date had changed?

Edit: yes I am Black lol! I initially made the post to a subreddit called Black Ladies. From personal experience, there’s a pattern of older black women with authority using that against me. Maybe because I’m more introverted and quiet, but they always, always try me! I know that subreddit can relate because I have posted similar issues in the past and got relatable feedback.