r/SheraSeven

I'm looking for feminine pretty classy gorgeous 1st Date, coffee date outfit ideas?
For weekday evening meetup? Share some ideas.

I was considering going out tonight but I know weekends are usually when couples are out and not providers. And I know they do not go out late. But on weekends where do you ladies typically go if you decide to freestyle?

Ive been talking to my provider for two years now, he’s 10 years older and not good looking . I’ve only met him a total of 6 times in two years , but I’ve been provided for every month, rent, bills, school tuition, flights, etc. He obviously tries to see me more but I lie about being busy , and he still hasn’t backed off ( I don’t know how I got away with it for so long) Never done anything intimate, not even a kiss lol ..
He sent me 3 k ( CAD) today 😌 so it’s possible girls !! Don’t settle for nail money 💰

I am watching Toxic Love Story on Netflix… I love true crime docuseries and so many of these men had dusty traits from the very beginning. Shera’s teachings are protecting so many women from dangerous men! I am so glad I found her teachings!

What do you expect in return before having sex for the first time with a new provider?
How long do you date before having sex for the first time?
What’s the intimacy timeline that has worked out for you?

Asking because I’m new here! I’ve always dated older, wealthy men because I have a thing for them. They would provide after enough time together just because they could. But this is my first time dating them more strategically. In the past, I’ve been the type to hook up on the first date. 🫣 Now I refuse to do that. Also I’m at that stage in life where I’m not only looking for a provider, but a husband I can have children with too.

Edit to add more context: Unfortunately I am a higher sex drive girly. I am just as eager as the men, ugh. But I have been doing amazing controlling that. Now I’m dating a strong candidate for a provider / husband / future father for the last month. 3 dates, first was dinner, then a money date, and then another money date. Only kissed. I never directly asked for $ but I reject sexual advancements by hinting it because he’s only spending, not spoiling and he’s still pursuing just not spending. The sexual tension is getting high. What should I do? I genuinely got him at my knees now.

can a diva/ig baddie/influencer/it girl enlighten me on this lifestyle and what to expect? i need the honest woman to come to the front and tell me to put on my big girl pants and grow up a little.

i’m a sensitive girlie who likes her privacy, keeps very lowkey and is very protective of her energy.

i’ve been thinking about adapting the it girl persona (even though i already think i’m an it girl, i just keep a very low profile and don’t talk to many people).

seeing my fav influencer get flown out privately has me thinking about this lifestyle, like it's actually pretty simple to do. i feel like i have a parasocial relationship with her because i’ve watched her live her normal life from end of high school, and honestly, all she really did was post herself a lot and nothing more. not saying i should do the exact same but i want to be able to be more visable yk

i know i’m destined for an insane life glow up, but i think i’m holding myself back.

i’ve realised it’s possible to have this outward persona and still be me. girls, i’m trying to get to another level, and i need to put on my big girl pants and stop caring about being judged or what people think.

is there a classy way to do this? i’m thinking about another example liek alexandre le clerc, etc. i want to put myself out there more without giving off the wrong impression or seeming desperate. Like I wanna be chic, i don’t want to send out hoe signals at all.

i’d genuinely love to hear from girls who have been in a similar position, especially those who are naturally private but have managed to build a presence for themselves. how do you find that balance without feeling like you’re putting on an act or losing yourself in the process?

Also tips to navigate social life and how to be more chill and better at managing that instead of feeling annoyed and drained by majority of people? I unfortunatly ghost a lot of people because they just end up annoying me and I feel like the dropping friends and ghosting is a little to extreme..

A break from the cringey men posts, I need to talk to all of the REAL OG divas in this group <3

Okay, so I’m 25 and when I say my frontal lobe has been developing at a racing speed, I’m not kidding. It’s like all of a sudden I can see how much I’ve been deprioritizing myself and my needs. I’ve been so desperate for so long. It took a lot of sacrifice, honestly.I’m also one of those women who cut contact with their family, and boy, I should’ve done that sooner. All of that negativity, trauma, misogyistic thinking and pick-me energy.

Anyways, I’m getting my degree, but I’m also taking it slow because I don’t want to stress myself out, and I’ve been focusing on healing. But honestly, I feel like there is no guide in this world on how to live as a diva. I'm very introverted and I don't like to change my own natrual way.

It's like very corner I turn, there’s a pick-me who wants me to feel like I should have this desperate energy. Like babes, no. I don’t want to work, yes, I like relaxing, and I do it because I deserve it for no reason. And no I don't want to be somebody mother or married for now. And also, I want all the best things for myself simply because I deserve them. I believe a lot in the law of assumption and the real sprinkle sprinkle principles. I still work right now and when people speak to me I literally zone out because I'm like this is soooo cringey....

Have yall ever felt like you are not around the right kind of people?

Anyway, the reason I’m writing this is because I live in Denmark (Northern Europe), and I feel like it’s the most pick-me country ever. People think you must work hard, 50/50 and it's delusional to dream big etc. Like, I feel like there is no relaxing energy for me other than my apartment and the mall lmao

Online, I see a lot of girls with the same mentality, but not much in real life. “Commoners” (sorry, I just love that word) are SO obsessed with things I don't care about like.... it's like we are talking to different languages, and I love being around other women who are obsessed with themselves, their routines, makeup, etc. Even the baddies here, they might be a little bit more elevated but then they talk about a bum ass man or how they want to get married and I'm like ok thank u next. Or worse when they talk about how stressed they are like (when they choose that life style?).

I just feel like I can’t be around these people. I deactivated my IG, but I strongly consider opening it again so I can connect with real baddies, but IDK. Is there a pick-me pandemic going on?

I wanna talk about how we can travel luxury, buy our dream car, our new favourite concealer, and nobody is matching the vibes.

For the women here who are enrolled in university or maybe jus work, have you found some girls you align with? I just can’t with the commoner mentality here. I can't stand the stupid questions anymore about men, dating, marriage and kids. I'm still very smart but I like to not think 90% time and not use brain energy. I also have to dress differently because people here get so offended by glam, like just say you are basic... I'm tired of the backhanded compliments.

I want to take pictures, go shopping, get treats, massages, good food, talk about how we r basically already wives of wealthy men, yoga. NOBODY IS MATCHING VIBES IRL. I want to go places with women but not with pick mes or anyone who tries to me "realistic" ugh.

Ever since I started to follow more influencers like me, I realized that a lot of them are also loners and that sucks... Are yall loners or have you found people u align with. I don't have time to put on a mask and pretend frrrr

For you ladies that work out at the gym, what do you wear to get approached? I usually wear a matching sets from Glowmode (looks similar to Lululemon) or I would color mix my matching sets. I always got my hair done and look good. Honestly I look more put together than anyone I’ve seen at the Planet Fitness. I look like I’m going to Pilates to be honest. HOWEVER, I go to Planet Fitness so I’m not sure if that’s why I don’t get approached. Can anyone give me advice? Bc I’m pretty skinny people tend to think I’m younger but I’m in my early 20s. Please give me advice!!!

TLDR: Any tips for becoming more quick-witted with wealthy men? I’ve come a long way on my transformation, but I’m struggling to keep up with conversation without looking slow. I aspire to be as quick witted as Shera Seven!

I know Shera says to always remain logical but my problem isn’t that I’m losing myself to emotion, it’s literally that my nervous system is NOT WIRED to be surrounded by wealthy men. Even if I look the part, act the part, talk the part, even feel the part… every time I go in a date with a potential partner, my f*cking brain short circuits while interacting with them because I have never heard the things they say or seen the things they do, never in my life. I never actually say or do anything wrong or not in my favor, I just start to act… slow? My brain is literally performing gymnastics trying to dodge my first reactions and craft a new one every time.

I just want to become quick witted around wealthy men. I feel like that’s the last major milestone for me in my transformation. As a girl who went from an emotional pickmeisha to getting bills paid by outstanding gentlemen, I’m proud. It’s just that now I’m looking for not just a provider but a HUSBAND since I want to have kids.

Recently started dating a suitable provider / potential husband but I feel like I’m not wowing him in conversation. I always blank out and get spacey, have a subpar response. Then a minute later I finally think of what I wanted to say. 😂

Where can I go to network with wealthy men in a daytime / not clubbing environment, where’s it accessible to a woman like me? I just want to be surrounded by these guys in conversation so I can practice when the stakes are low.

So my BIL (brother in law), golden boy narcissist, is coupled up with a woman who he has impregnated twice without a RING. She is currently pregnant with their second child. No ring. No engagement. No nothing. Woman is still working full-time, probably does the majority of household chores, and child-rearing. Keep in MIND....She rubs his shoulders and caters to him. The other day she was resting, seven months pregnant, and he put her to WORK. Made her do some manual labour even tho she was exhausted and getting petulant with her. I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW NEVER TRUST A MAN AND CATER TO HIM. THEY WILL RESENT YOU ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE A NARC. At a mutual gathering, he was blatantly flirting with another woman in front of her. NEVER TRUST THEM AND DON"T HAVE THEIR KID UNLESS THEY HAVE INVESTED HEAVILY OR ARE MORALLY SOUND PEOPLE.

Title is explanatory. I’ve had 2 serious relationships where I was providing more than the other but this current one is out of control.

To be honest, I think my love language really is just providing. I find real joy in spoiling my partner. Like for example, when we get food or something and he asks if he can order like a large coffee or a big meal, it genuinely makes me happy to say “of course, you can have whatever you want”. I wish I could have this dynamic and it be pure but I just know unfortunately these guys think little of me and like it’s just not a good look for a woman. Plus I want to be taken care of in return. I would love to be a stay at home one day.

I pick my partner up from over an hour away, let him drive my car when we’re together, bring him home. Buy us 2 nice meals a day. Buy his nicotine because we vape. Before I got sober, our alcohol, which was really my alcohol because I needed to have it to not go into withdrawl and he’d just drink it to his hearts content. Leaving me having to run out first thing in the morning or late at night because a bottle that could have lasted me 2 days, lasted 1 day with him. Just basically when we’re together fully provide for him.

He occasionally throws in a meal. But that’s about it. On a good week maybe he’ll buy 3 of our meals. But most weeks it’s 0 or 1 meal, if even 1.

When he has vape pods of his own he hides it and keeps it for himself. See that’s the kinda behavior that really makes me regret being so generous. Like selfish little bitch behavior. He is an ex addict and I read they can tend to have hoarding tendencies but idk.

Yes, he is a dusty 😔 but I love him 😔. I know. I can hear Shera mocking me lmfaooooo.

I guess it’s less about him and more about me. Because when I meet someone I’m attracted to and want to be in a relationship with, I instinctively will start throwing money at them trying to show them how I can and am willing to take care of them. Like I said. I think it’s just my love language. Like to make someone I care for feel taken care of. I mean who wouldn’t want that? That’s why we’re all here, right? But I’m a dummy man. This hasn’t gotten me anywhere.

I think I could be stuck in my masculine? I saw a wizard Liz video where she talked about how her mom was stuck in her masculine. Like wouldn’t accept gifts or acts of service and she had to help her mom come out of that energy. Idk.

Growing up I didn’t have many friends at all. Boys didn’t really like me. My first bf and first everything was at 19. So I never got like the typical princess treatment a lot of girls got growing up by their bfs. Like I kinda am just really independent I guess. And I guess it translates into how I treat partners. Idk how to explain it.

Anyways. I’m so sorry yalll lmfaoooo.

Give me advice pls

Provider I’m seeing gave me 1k for my re entry fee, he ended it and wanted me back. Now he’s making me feel guilty. He said he has problems with his health and his money is hard earned. And he also said he sent the money but it’s now over between us but still wants to see me one more time?

He said because he sent me money he deserves something … and now he wants the money back

Okay so I’m not really apart of this community but I figured you guys would like this. My boyfriend just recently offered to pay for my nails every month, and I’ve never had a man pay for my nails EVER, so it’s safe to say I’m pretty hype. Yay!

Shera always says a dusty will stress you out, age you, and drain you. I am living proof, and I have the medical records to back it up. Before I met my ex 9 years ago. I was full of light, vibrant, skinny, healthy. They can suck it away like vampires.
9 years ago I was a full pickmeisha, and a Barbara the Builder on top of it. I was with a narcissist, doing all the giving, accepting crumbs, and calling it love.
I built that man up. And he used my family's resources to do it. My parents are successful and well connected. They introduced him to a ton of doctors and talked him out of family medicine and into dermatologic surgery. He went from a future of around $250K a year to probably $600K or more. He walked away with the career. I got nothing. Shera says never build a man, because you pour in the resources and he takes the finished product to someone else.
I was unhappy the whole time. I didn't even want to have sex with him. I was giving access to my body to a man who wasn't providing, protecting, or even pleasing me. My body was telling me no long before I was ready to say it.

Then my body started breaking down. I developed pelvic issues, then an autoimmune illness that left me bedridden for 7 years. I gained 50 pounds. I lost most of my twenties to it.

He is married now, lol. Someone else is enjoying the man I built with my family's resources.

I cannot unsee the pattern anymore. In the relationships where I was cared for and my needs were met financially, I glowed up. My health improved, my looks improved, my whole life improved. Shera is right. A man is supposed to add to your life. Provision and peace are not luxuries ladies. Without them I end up in a hospital bed.

You would think I had learned. Then recently I got involved with a man who turned out to be a manipulator. He made providing for me seem like a chore and told me my standards were too high. The former pickmeisha in me came right back out, and I believed it.

The illness I had work so hard to be in remission from flared up. I spent this past week in the hospital, twice.
A short time with the wrong man undid what took me years to rebuild.

Shera says to watch what he does, not what he says, and I listened to the words.
Now I am back at my parents' for the week, where they spoil me and take care of me without me having to ask twice. I was raised being provided for with ease. Any man who makes providing feel like too much is offering me a downgrade from the life I already have.

Although I'll be honest about where the pickmeisha came from. My mom is one. She never loved herself enough, so I never learned how to do it properly either. I had to figure it out the hard way, in a hospital bed. I see it as my duty to my future daughters to pour myself into all of this now, so they grow up watching a mother who loves herself and never have to unlearn what I did.

I am done treating this as "just dating advice." For me, dating the wrong man is a health issue. From here on:
No building. He arrives finished or he doesn't arrive.

- I watch what he does, not what he says.
- No access to me without real investment.
- A man who treats providing like a burden is not the one. - My standards aren't too high.
-The moment a man costs me my peace, he is gone. I don't wait for my body to make the decision for me.

My standards are so high now. The $600K a year I helped him get? Chump change to me today. And in my opinion, avoid dating doctors at all costs. A title and a salary tell you nothing about how a man will treat you.
Where am I going now?

- Spending time with the beautiful sprinkle sprinkle friends I've met.

- Focusing on my business and leveling up.

-Losing the weight, working on my health.

-Enjoying the new city I moved to.

- Maybe getting my master's and moving somewhere new again.

- Deepening my spirituality.

- Freestyling without getting attached.

-Decentering men completely.

So girls, and especially my pickmeishas, remember: the wrong man can literally make you fucking physically ill. Physically, mentally, energetically. All of it. He doesn't have to hit you or cheat on you to wreck you. The stress alone will do it. Your attention is literally energy and who you interact with is energy as well. A man should provide you nothing but peace.
If your body is telling you something about the man you're with, listen the first time. I did not, and it cost me years.
Has anyone else noticed their health change depending on who they were with?
Sprinkle sprinkle.

Freshly turned 20, I have never been in a relationship, as I wasn’t the best looking kid & had high school mostly online due to Covid, I also never believed I wanted a marriage/ love centered relationship; I just want a rich man. I don’t want to work or worry about bringing in income. I want a man who is obsessed with me 10x and spoils me just because, I infact would find pleasure in degrading him and not sexually. In fact, I don’t even think I’d wanna have sex, I’d literally do everything else but penetration/ oral sex tbh. I also am about to graduate university and work where the rich men work, but idk how to attract one. Ik Shera always says they don’t take ppl my age seriously and I feel like when they see a woman as young as me in their field they’ll just feel intimidated and see me as their competition, so I’d js get played all the time. However, I could just dilly dally on that side of town without working; I just never go out alone. 1. Because I don’t have the money to spend on a drink if I wanna sit somewhere and 2. Im super awkward. I’d go to coffee shops to study or journal but yk; that’s where dusties go, so I haven’t been. I get awkward going somewhere doing nothing, and I also can not make eye contact. I feel like I naturally see men as predators because of all the news we see involving them? Idk, all I want is someone to fund my lifestyle, pay for school, my maintenance, possibly extra so that I don’t have to work, & can finish my studies, spoil myself & have time to figure out how/ what I wanna do for my own business, cause that is my goal long term. I don’t wanna work a 9-5. But help!! Lol.
I also think I’m a tad scared / traumatized from situations like wizardliz or in my culture, where men are the ‘heads/ dominant’ of the household & the woman has no say.

I (22F) recently graduated with my bachelor’s and moved back to my small hometown for a full-time legal assistant job. The pay is low, there’s little room for growth, and being back here is taking a toll on my mental health. I even just went through a breakup where my ex partner stated that me moving back to my hometown put a strain on our relationship, and I’m just ready to leave and upgrade.

I have family in a much bigger city a few hours away who offered to let me live with them rent-free if I found a job there. I’ve interviewed for two positions:

1. Customer Service Representative
   $2/hr more than my current job
   Full benefits
   Lots of coworkers and diversity
   20 minutes from my family’s house, and in another new city

2. Paralegal at a small law firm
   Same pay as my current job
   No benefits mentioned
   In the same town as my family in the new bigger city
   Older, male boss (I never had a male boss before)
   Similar responsibilities and software to my current job, so I’d have an easier transition

Here’s where I’m conflicted. The attorney is an older man who seemed VERY impressed with me during the interview. He repeatedly complimented my intelligence and demeanor, said I’d be a great addition to his firm, and encouraged me to consider law school, even after I explained that I don’t really want to be an attorney.

He also mentioned being open to increasing my pay over time, but we never discussed specific numbers or benefits. He currently has three other employees, all in their mid-50s or older.

I like the idea of continuing to build my legal experience as that’s my intended field, but I’m not interested in accepting the same low pay I’m already making just because it’s what I already know. The customer service job already offers better compensation and benefits, although it isn’t directly related to my career interests.

What would you do? Should I email the attorney and negotiate for higher pay and benefits before making a decision, or take the job that already offers more?