I'm not sure if I'd actually ever become a sugar baby... But haha sometimes I think of it 😆😆😂
Where are they over here? Can you easily spot them? Do they approach you or do you have to use sites?
So when I first found out I could have it, I felt sad.
I kind of start to feel like in a way I am "dirty" (I logically don't agree but yk) And I start to feel like no romantic partner would ever want me.
But then I read about it on Google and some posts on this sub popped up **I realised it's not THAT big of a deal, that it's actually very common (now I actually think many people have it and don't even know) And I also learnt that maybe it's not as contagious as I thought**
What I mean is, it seems some people in here claim / believe it's not contagious/as contagious during an active outbreak.
The scary thing is though, some people don't have outbreaks and ofc it's still spreadable.
I have sometimes used the same cutlery after the family member who has oral herpes, (not sure which exact name) -
I wash them first but I usually used cold water because we couldn't afford hot water at times.
I should have been more careful but I kind of felt like I probably already have it since way before finding out, we already had been sharing cutlery literally our whole lives!
As soon as I found out they have it, I started rly believing I most likely do too.
I am now wanting to be more careful though - aka buy my own cutlery etc etc.
Other family members know of this so they're treating me like I already have it.
What I want to know is, it seems (from this sub) that most people aren't super strict when it comes to this.
Some of you have relationships with people who have it, and even kiss eachother etc etc.
**Some of you here ONLY avoid kissing etc during an active outbreak**
But herpes can spread even without an outbreak, so genuinely how do you all feel at peace?
I personally now feel I have to be extra careful around sharing cutlery, and because I may have it too, I'm trying to avoid others from using after me too.
For me this was normal but it seems a lot of people here are more chill.
I'm very new to the world of herpes, so please give me grace :)
Do any of you think there is a chance I don't have it? I always washed cutlery before using but sometimes I had to use cold water only .. I even had to use just shampoo at times ! And the dish soap I use isn't antibacterial. :(
I can't afford a full test yet, so I don't know if I definitely have it, but I'm struggling a bit, I feel like I should close myself off romantically because **I do NOT want to spread this to anyone else**
On the other hand , I've seen people in this sub with supportive partners, I do struggle to understand though how someone without herpes could feel safe to date someone with it, especially if they kiss and do anything sexual, no judgement! I just struggle to understand how they can be so relaxed , do they just not care if they get it? Or do they believe they won't? What makes them so sure?
I know there are ways to avoid catching it, but even those arent always 100%.
Lastly.... A "good" thing, I feel like it will actually keep the bad men away. If a person is willing to accept me and love me even if I do have oral herpes, then it shows they truly care about me..
But I would also be 100% understanding if someone didn't want to be with me after finding out, it'd hurt but I would understand them not wanting to risk getting it too.
I'm mostly worried about patchiness (although I plan to remove old tan before applying, would using a tan remover work and help)
I also want to make sure it looks okay.. I want it to look natural, I know we have to do ears, neck and hands, how do we avoid that looking odd ?
Thanks!
I feel like many handbags just won't suit me.
I'm looking for a casual but elegant handbag, nothing too "fancy" infact I just want it neutral, plain and boring.
I'm doing so by looking on vinted and thrifting etc.
I found a lot I like, but many I just feel icky about using because I feel it wouldn't suit me..
I've noticed if it's beige/brown that can suit me well,
But certain styles or colours is a no.
I don't even usually go by what suits me I go by what I also like but there is just something about handbags, I'm not rly used to wearing them so I'm being a bit too self aware / insecure too,
But do any of you relate??
If I'm going somewhere nice I'd use a more stylish one.
But for day to day (even tho I'm a dress up even when it's not an occasion girl, but for day to day I still go for a bit casual but dressy/stylish)
I'm feeling casual vibes ATM so I'm looking for a bag to match that but I've realised wow, these colours / styles would not suit me, I feel like the bag would stick out like a sore thumb!
What do you all do to make sure a handbag/purse or even clothing item, definitely suits you?
Some of you probably already fit this, but I want to have that look/vibe too.
I feel perhaps when I have my nails done more regularly and fix my posture and the way I carry myself, it'll help.
Just wondering what do you guys think I could do to achieve that?
Even without makeup some women still look very polished and glam (granted they usually have fresh nails, shiny/tidy hair & just look fresh i.e clean clothing and lotioned skin)
I want to go for only natural sugars (like in fruit or honey)
No more sugary snacks .. but then, say I want to buy **bread** YEP that bread has sugar in it.
So what do I do?
Do I have to make everything from scratch? It'll need time patience and money to LEARN how, but if I get it right I know I'd make the time because it's worth it.
However I wish I could just do a normal food shop, but literally everythingggg has unnecessarily huge amounts of sugar in it.
It's genuinely hard to avoid it ;/
It's most probably definitely the foods I am eating!
Could be hormonal or a mix of things, but some days I wake up and look so puffy and just absolutely atrocious lol.
Maybe it's the way I slept/the quality too..
I know sugar probably has a big role in it because I sometimes eat a lot of it.
Infact I've been wondering if those "bad face days" happen usually after I binge eat the day before ..
I remember last year when I was less bloated and skinnier, I genuinely looked prettier like the facial bloating affects my features and eyes too. My face was slimmer (where as now I have realised chipmunk cheeks, I always have chubby cheeks which I can find cute/pretty, but they become huge when I eat badly)
Do you find you don't get as puffy and generally look better now?
I just want to know I'm not alone 😂 it's not that personal to the staff there, It can just feel daunting.
I also feel stepping into the jobcentre makes me feel a bit bad about myself, like I've "failed" even though like so many it's just taking a while to find work.
I also start to think people will think I'm just trying to scam the system etc etc.
Does anyone else feel dread though before appointments regardless?
I get this with other appointments but for some reason the bank, and jobcentre are the worst for me.!
It feels more "serious"
Does it get better?
I can kind of answer that... As it has eased the more I have appointments but as soon as I have to wait over a week for appointments etc the dread sometimes comes back in a new appointment.
I also have a new work coach and I feel like they keep trying to "catch me out" and it's disappointing and negative 🥲
I'm not trying to scam, I try to be honest on my reason if I failed to do something, (which is usually always due to family related things)
I've been on it for 6 or so months now and I think they gave me a stricter work coach incase I *am* just not trying.
So I do feel even more dread now and I sometimes consider asking for a different work coach because while they can be nice, there is this hidden rudeness at times and I just feel like they treat all claimants that way.
I don't dress the best due to finances and being unnecessarily insecure of normal / minor flaws, I'm also a bit chubby but I see plenty of women with my body and different bodies looking beautiful in dresses and skirts.
I want to start overcoming this so I can finally dress better and how I truly want.
I'm going to also try to lose some weight for health reasons, but I don't want to restrict myself too much and go to the point where if I ever gain any weight suddenly I'll start dressing worse (covering up more etc)
I basically avoid skirts and dresses because of that.
I feel like I'd get a good glow up if I improved my dress style.
Wondering has any of you felt that effect?
And honestly ladies.. this is for me mostly and the little girl I once was who wanted to be the femininest dressed girl and woman always. Unfortunately around puberty I started having body image issues after gaining weight. I feel like my body stays skinny but with some extra weight and because of that, I try to hide how chubby I am so avoid wearing dresses and skirts even though that's what I want.
Has anyone overcame this? Please give me advice on how to ! :(
I see many beautiful girls with all different bodies rocking pretty dresses and I just wish I could be so free.
But when I wear them, I start to feel rly "exposed" because I'm so used to *hiding* my body.
I usually wear long sleeved things and avoid showing much skin.
But I've always loved skirts & dresses, just since puberty I struggle to feel comfortable wearing them, it's like my brain feels if I'm not "skinny" then my body is "wrong" and I just don't want people to see how it actually is. But I don't think this way for others ..! 🤷🏻♀️ & Seeing girls with my body helps, but I also end up focusing on cellulite if not my actual body.
I will be moving out soon and living alone for the first time, I always planned to save a lot first, but being where I currently am is killing my mental health which I think is affecting me physically (I feel drained most of the time and hate getting up sometimes)
Of course I'll think it through and make sure I have something saved, I'll also need a deposit for a place I'll rent. I won't move until I find a job / not long after as currently I am basically poor and it is horrible.
I know Facebook marketplace is very good for cheap / free home items, I'm just wondering what else out there is similar?
I do not mind second hand I just worry incase some could come with damage.
When I first move essentials will come first.
I mainly will need:
Bed and mattress
Washing machine
Cooker/oven (perhaps I can just use a plug in stovetop though I don't mind those until I'm financially in a better place) (If anyone knows of anything else I'll most likely need feel free to comment but for now I'm going with absolute basics)
I can't think of anything else right now because I know I'm going to probably live very frugally for a while, but I have suffered enough already in life and as long as I have bare essentials I will be fine waiting.
Thank you to anyone who gives me any advice ❣️
I am 21 and I just don't have much money right now and I feel like I have to leave where I am in order to get on a better path (I have too many unwanted draining responsibilities, issues & people I just have to just put up with etc that I wouldn't have if I lived alone, basically family issues, it's draining me and I can't cope anymore) I hate that I even have to ask this and that I probably won't experience a rly happy cozy home straight away (I was excited to move and decorate my new home etc etc) but as I said I dont mind waiting as long as I have essentials.
I genuinely have struggled mental health wise (got very depressed) so much here that I haven't even been able to focus on my education properly or anything .. :/ ! It looks like I'm just lazy but that's far from the truth.
The environment I was in set me back.
But I'm at that point (and have been for a while now!) where I'm done, I've decided I'm leaving, I'm tired of being mentally and even physically drained because sometimes I have to do things that I just wouldn't have to if I lived alone. Like I have to help family a lot at times or do extra housework etc etc, it can just get a lot if I already have my own things to deal with, but here I have to carry more than I should basically.
And I'm not just some bratty teen/young person complaining about mere housework either, I'm in a caregiving role for my parent and it gets hard and mentally exhausting. Thanks again to anyone who comments, I'm also searching for a job but it's difficult as the only work experience I have is carework and I don't have any qualifications yet (will get them done) - I'm looking for simple jobs that don't require much but it still takes a while. Getting a job is literally my only hope in escaping from this life and it gets scary when things look hopeless.
I'm going to one in a couple of days, at first I imagined it was like a classroom (someone even said it online)
But I read about it in my universal credit account and it said something like
"If you don't participate, your payments will be affected"
So it left me wondering what exactly do I do to "participate"?
I thought I'd just have to sit and watch basically :(
The reason I'm uncomfortable with having to speak much is because I do have some anxiety, and I also am just ashamed of my lack of experience and qualifications.
I do not even have my English and maths (GCSE)
And I am almost 21.
I am of course going to be working towards these and I wasn't able in the past due to a lot of responsibilities at home.
I'm still going to go, I actually sort of saw the actual classroom thing last week because I had an appointment then but I arrived 10 or so minutes late so they rescheduled me, and it wasn't that bad.
It was just a room with people sitting and a man talking.
I didn't think the attendees actually had to speak though...
Will I have to show my CV in front of everyone? 😬
I'm honestly embarrassed at it because I literally can only add on skills I got through being a caregiver for my uncle for a couple of months (not easy work at all so the skills are beneficial)
But no educational skills..
And what can I even say if they ask why I have none? The truth was I got very depressed in my teens due to multiple family issues (including LOTS of toxicity and basically abuse)
I remember being too stressed to focus ! I tried to catch up at home with my education but genuinely couldn't.
+ I had to manage the housework a lot so I was burnt out a lot, may not sound like much but anyone here who've grown up in a home where you have to manage most of the cleaning etc you'll know how hard and draining it can become.
I'm going to one in a couple of days, at first I imagined it was like a classroom (someone even said it online)
But I read about it in my universal credit account and it said something like
"If you don't participate, your payments will be affected"
So it left me wondering what exactly do I do to "participate"?
I thought I'd just have to sit and watch basically :(
The reason I'm uncomfortable with having to speak much is because I do have some anxiety, and I also am just ashamed of my lack of experience and qualifications.
I do not even have my English and maths (GCSE)
And I am almost 21.
I am of course going to be working towards these and I wasn't able in the past due to a lot of responsibilities at home.
I'm still going to go, I actually sort of saw the actual classroom thing last week because I had an appointment then but I arrived 10 or so minutes late so they rescheduled me, and it wasn't that bad.
It was just a room with people sitting and a man talking.
I didn't think the attendees actually had to speak though...
Will I have to show my CV in front of everyone? 😬
I'm honestly embarrassed at it because I literally can only add on skills I got through being a caregiver for my uncle for a couple of months (not easy work at all so the skills are beneficial)
But no educational skills..
And what can I even say if they ask why I have none? The truth was I got very depressed in my teens due to multiple family issues (including LOTS of toxicity and basically abuse)
I remember being too stressed to focus ! I tried to catch up at home with my education but genuinely couldn't.
+ I had to manage the housework a lot so I was burnt out a lot, may not sound like much but anyone here who've grown up in a home where you have to manage most of the cleaning etc you'll know how hard and draining it can become.
I struggle with overeating, how do you ensure you don't over eat or fall into your old ways?
Thankfully recently I noticed I now listen more to my body *as in when I'm full I stop eating, where as before I'd basically eat and eat until I was too full*
Now I feel a little *click* in my belly when I'm full and I stop eating.
I feel much better about myself and lighter now I do this.
It also made me realised wow, how much I used to over eat.
However.... I still don't count calories or truly watch what I'm eating,
It seems like sugar, etc, are in EVERYTHING.
What changes did you make? If you avoid sugar and dairy, do you make your own alternatives? Since it's in absolutely everything!
I want to cut sugar especially because I'm a sugar addict.
I'm going to opt for fruits and natural sugars, and I'm looking into antiinflammatory diets.
I do not really exercise but I want to start going for regular walks, and try at home workouts (then go to a gym)
I'm mainly interested in losing weight and also building more strength in my overall body.
You see I want to be healthy, I am going to create a healthier lifestyle, but I also don't want to overly restrict myself, (anyone else?) I want to eat out/have sugar occasionally but be mindful of what I eat regularly, Where as now I basically don't watch what I eat at all and my weight goes up and down (I'm currently like 11 stone and that seems to be my "natural" weight but it goes up and down)
What motivated you?
For me I want to finally start dressing better,
Currently I can't rly as I hate how my legs look (chubby) -
I'm tired of not dressing the way I've always wanted to because of my weight.
Basically I want a job as soon as possible, but I also particularly want a support worker job because I'd be best at it and I genuinely care about people.
I've been applying online and my CV has my carework experience on it,
But to speed it up I'm wondering if I could just start calling and walking into care homes/ residential homes and handing them my CV and asking if they could hire me and explaining that I have carework experience due to being a full time carer for a loved one.
Thoughts on that? When job searching support work is the job that stood out to me most ❣️ I know it isn't always easy too)
Basically, I know sugar can be good/sometimes our body "needs" it,
I'm worried if I totally cut processed sugar and only eat more organic foods and opt for healthier sugars aka **natural sugars** like you'd find in honey and fruits.
I have a sweet tooth and that's why I struggle so much to cut sugar but I can always make sugar free healthier alternatives, for example I could use raisins or honey to sweeten stuff.
I feel like as long as I sometimes get a sweet treat in a *healthier* way I'd be fine.
The problem is sugar seems to be in literally everything 🤷🏻♀️ I also **love** grabbing a coffee / hot chocolate/ caramel frappe with whipped cream...
I genuinely don't want to have to miss out on that :(
- My goal is to cut most sugar, basically be more mindful.
I'm okay making my own breads etc, and trying to make healthier alternatives because I'm tired of being tyed to sugar **and it makes my face SO bloated which I'm getting RLY tired of, and can make bone pain worse** !!
I'm just worried incase this could somehow affect me but maybe I'm overthinking?
Like would I be fine to totally limit sugar and only ever eat natural sugars? Or could that bad bad?
Also, I don't mind sometimes consuming sugar, I've always loved sweet treats and I don't want to overly limit myself but I just want to be more mindful as I basically don't process what I actually eat at all, like I dont check the calories or salt etc etc.
I want to be more healthy because I'm tired of feeling sluggish and I know the huge amount of sugar and junk I eat probably is the cause for that.
How would you describe your loneliness? I personally only started feeling lonely after repeatedly having family issues.
And for me it feels like emptiness .
I used to be content with just my parent and a sibling, but we stopped seeing eye to eye, I feel very misunderstood and unseen by this sibling and as a result I drifted from the sibling a bit & the old me which is affecting friend/family relationships for me, & have started to feel lonely.
I had friends sometimes but they weren't deep connections which is what I need.
I have my flaws but I feel I cant speak about when they are wrong or upset me because they can be very contrarian / brush me off and believe they're always right type of thing.
I also feel trapped because I have to live with them and my parent but after everything, I have started to want to leave but can't afford that. I am happy to be with them but I feel like for my sanity I need my own place so I can start a life of my own but I'm literally trapped now because I can't afford that yet. 😔
I am looking to it when I have the funds (I'm currently job searching) but I honestly feel trapped because even that is uncertain :(
I even worry about possibly losing a job in the future and then ending up homeless.. life is just scary and feeling this way hasn't helped.
I just feel so lonely now sometimes especially when we aren't on good terms. We have times where we can get along and be happy and genuinely have good times but eventually we bash heads again, and I put a lot of it to how stern headed or whatever she is.
I can be overly defensive at times but I feel it's as a result of how I'm treated. 😬
The lack of being heard and understood is what caused this.
Sorry but I don't really know what to do with these feelings, I've never experienced loneliness because I always had them close to me.
I guess because it's family it hurts more.
Even making friends doesn't always help because they are sometimes surface level connections you know? :/
Has anyone here felt this way and what helped?
I could make more friends and be more social (I'm not rly social at all BUT I do enjoy talking tob(some) random people out and about, I realised)
But I would like true friends, I wish I could find "my people" I know I have myself and I truly do be my own best friend especially during such times too.
For reference I am 21 - not sure if this post may look written by a teenager lol
I never usually make posts like this but it's nice to know I'm not alone and perhaps other people here relate/related and id be open to know what helps or helped you.
I kind of just feel like my people are out there but I haven't met them yet, so I of course need to be more open and social. I'm not currently in education yet to rly meet friends 🤷🏻♀️
Edit
I know we live in a world where the mindset (or it's a new thing??) where we are like: "I'm not your therapist, don't trauma dump" I know I need to be there for myself and of course get therapy if this doesn't improve, but its nice to also have people who understand and to be there for eachother as humans. And that whole mindset can sometimes feel so empty and dehumanising.. I'm not looking for someone to be my therapist I just made this post curious on if anyone else feels this way and how they manage it. I can't believe I even am making this post tbh and am feeling this way, I never thought things would turn out this way.
Edit I also find many people in Leicester are very friendly, even an old friend of mine said how she loves Leicester because of how friendly and hospital the people are.
I agree, but I also feel like people my age can be closed off 😂 or they already have their friends or are super focused on their education etc that they're busy. I know I will naturally make friends in the future when I find a job and am in education but even that is uncertain right now due to circumstances.
I'm trying to help my friend find a job, she's been in Leicester for a few months now.
She was previously a carer for a relative (uncle) which obviously isn't easy work at all and gave her skills that would work for a few jobs.
Because she had rocky teen years, along with having to be a caregiver at a young age, she didn't get to complete her GCSEs so she has no qualifications at all (yet)
She knows how important those are and is looking to get them done but she still wants to find work and said she's no actually free to work (a cousin of hers has taken over for her uncle)
She's very friendly and sweet, she's not "incapable" I would honestly hire her if I was a manager but the struggle is finding a job that would accept her.
Does anyone have any advice?
We've heard of agencies and such, what ones are good here?
Does anyone know specific work places that may accept her if she popped in and asked them if they're hiring etc?
Thanks!
She deserves a chance at life.
!! 😊
I personally love queensroad and similar areas, t's like a little village with cozy cute little shops & cafes & a loros book shop - (it's all perfect for autumn) along with some parts of oadby and wigston and I know there are more similar but I forget the names/haven't found them yet.
I personally rly like cozy/village type areas,
And "fancy" looking areas/places.
I grew up in Leicester and I used to hate it until I got older and saw all the other areas and places we have here, I realised Leicester is a nice town too and that I was just used to one/certain areas that personally gave me a depressing vibe.
I also try to romanticise my life and living here and finding areas and shops or events etc I enjoy really helps that.
So I basically have uneven hair, I would cut it even but then my hair would be EXTREMELY short
So I'm considering just letting it grow out (it's already grown a lot, I've been growing it out for months)
And then when it gets long (live but length) I will cut it EVENLY too my mid back and then it'll be even and more healthy.
My only worry is my ends are starting to look a bit dull,
But I can't even cut the dead bits without having to do a BIG chop because of how even it is.
I know I have 2 options,
I'm just wondering has anyone ever did this and how'd it go?
I cut lots of my hair off months ago, somehow it ended up turning out uneven! So I've since been growing it out but it's now in need of a trim and I'm worried growing it out it could end up looking bad even after I cut it evenly.