u/Chemical-Repeat5795

I know the saying that black mothers are harder on their daughters, but my mom has shown that is always true.

I’m a very sensitive person and she is not. I would need support growing up, but she didn’t have the warmth I needed. She has even stopped talking to me when an ex sent her revenge porn. I had to dropped out of college, she took my car and health insurance.

Earlier this week I was admitted to the hospital for a ruptured cyst and I was terrified thinking it could be something worse. My fiancé, who is a doctor, asked me if I wanted to call her for support. I said no because she has never been the type to be calm and not yell, but I did it anyway. She proved me correct. She yelled and showed suspicion as if my fiancé was abusing me or wasn’t trying hard enough to get me care. Which is exactly the opposite of the situation. I’m in a small town and he basically put his job on the line to make sure I had the proper care.

The ER doctor said it was only a pinched nerve or a kidney stone. So my man had to yell and tell the doctor I needed a CT scan. If for whatever reason that provider decided to tell HR my fiancé was acting inappropriately, his career would be ruined.

My granny also decided to call the hospital and yell at them. That wasn’t something I wanted and I cried during my whole visit. It basically showed she didn’t trust my fiancé and was willing to put his career and my relationship in jeopardy.

Today I called her and told her I wasn’t comfortable with how she treated us and instead of apologizing. She said that she will never see me again and don’t even talk to her.

I have decided to stick by my partners side and set a boundary. I can’t imagine having her act this way every single time something happens. It’s not fair and makes me feel that I can’t do anything right and I’ll forever be blamed.

I just needed to rant because I feel bad but I know it’s the right thing to distance myself from her.

These are words I never thought I would say, but it’s true. I literally had to take multiple takes and pinch myself to realize it wasn’t a dream. I actually had a dream last night I got a positive test. Now that I’m in this situation I have to think about the upcoming year.

I’m moving across the country with my fiancé to a state I’ve visited before, but the town we’re living in only has a 1% black population. I’ll also be days travel from my family and flights are not easy to reach my new town or go home. His family lives in the same state, so I’ll have to see them maybe often?

It’s so much to take in because these first couple of years are going to be hard. I don’t have any idea of how long or intense his working hours will be. For 6 years I’ll be so far away from my family, but I made a commitment to be with my man while he enters his new career.

It makes me nervous because I would love to have my mother with me through all of this, especially in the delivery room and the first month afterwards. At this rate the baby will be around 3 months old when it’s time to move across the country AGAIN!

We’re discussing if we should keep the baby or not. I’m stuck thinking about my options and this is my first big big adult decision. My fiancé is of course giddy and singing every song he knows around the house, while I’m sleeping trying to come to terms with it all.

I just needed to vent and hear whatever advice or comforts you have. How did you deal with your surprise pregnancies? Feel free to also message me. I need someone to talk to.

On Monday (on my way to work) I was T-boned by a driver who ran a red light. The airbags deployed, and I was transported by ambulance to the emergency room.

Police had my vehicle towed to CrowTow. I had never heard of the company before, but a simple Google search turns up countless complaints and news articles regarding their practices.

Keep in mind: I am the victim in this crash. The other driver ran a red light and was charged by police. Yet CrowTow is effectively holding my car hostage and refusing to let me access it until insurance pays them. Meanwhile, the other driver’s insurance company is delaying the process, so I still cannot retrieve my belongings.

I’m a healthcare worker, and my ID badge, reading glasses, and other important personal items are inside the vehicle. To make matters worse, CrowTow will not even allow me to take photos of my own car, despite insurance requesting them.

This feels incredibly predatory and should not be acceptable. I am also filing a complaint with the Des Moines City Council.