Ready to marry her, but her depression ended us. Dealing with a "clean break" and feeling entirely empty.
Hey everyone, I’m just in absolute shock today and could really use some kind words.
My girlfriend of two years left me today. She handed me a letter, told me she wants a "clean break," and allowed absolutely zero room for discussion. She moved back out, and I am sitting here alone in our apartment completely dying inside.
Over the last six months, her severe depression and anxiety just kept getting worse and worse. She was driveless, sad, not ready for intimacy. I love her with all my heart, she has the most beautiful, kind soul, and these have been the best two years of my life. I was completely ready to marry this girl. I supported her through the dark times, also losing her job and finding a new one, but the illness just kept pulling her down. In her letter, she made it sound like she believes she was a bad girlfriend and was destroying my life, and that a woman should satisfy a mens desires. It hurts so bad because that isn't true at all.
It feels like a family member died, but she’s still out there. I know she left because she is completely emotionally bankrupt and feels too much guilt to face me, but the sudden silence and emptiness in my apartment is suffocating.
I’ve agreed to go absolute zero contact until she leaves for a trip to Italy soon, at which point I'm going to drop off the rest of her things with a final letter just letting her know she was loved and didn't ruin my life.
But right now, the pain is physical. I can't eat, I can't drink, and the clock is moving like molasses. I just feel so lost. How do you survive the first day of the future you planned being completely erased?