u/ChemicalPain5996

People seem to have the misconception that only an elite few are able to unleash a steady flow of creative genius. That is not true at all. The fact is, creativity is very much like a muscle that needs to be exercised in order to consistently give out great results. If you don’t practice harnessing creative thinking, this skill will very much atrophy into inexistence. But keep working, and this skill will soon come to you in a snap.

So how do you unleash your creative thinking? First, become a human leech. No, not literally — soak in as much knowledge and learning as you can find. Read everything available — good and bad — and keep your mind open to the infinite possibilities of the universe. The more you know, the more you’ll want to know, and the more your faculty of wonder will be exercised. Learn to be amazed at tiny facts that add a bit of color to your life.

Focus on a creative activity every day. Yes, it’s an effort. Even doodling is a creative activity. Do not let anything hinder you. For people who are just starting out to unleash creative thinking, it is helpful and encouraging to have concrete evidence that what you’re doing is getting somewhere. Practice drawing for a couple of minutes every day. Bring out your old camera and start snapping photos. Keep a journal and make it a point to write in it regularly. Another idea is to practice describing something with your five senses, avoiding vague adjectives like “marvelous,” “amazing,” and “delicious.” Before you know it, you’ll have built yourself a little portfolio, and you’ll be amazed at the growth you’ve made. And soon those things will become a part of you, and you’ll be addicted to these creative exercises.

Think out of the box — or don’t. Sometimes, constraints are actually a good thing. Limitations discipline you to work within your means. They enable you to be more resourceful. Creative freedom is great, but limitations enforce discipline.

Try something new every day and let your experiences broaden your perspective. Explore a new district in your neighborhood. Spend an afternoon in a museum you’ve never been to before. Chat with someone on the bus. Open up to the people around you. As you thrust yourself out of your comfort zone more and more each day, your sense of adventure grows, and so does your zest for life. Think about it: when was the last time you did something for the first time? If it’s been a while, you’ve been missing out on many experiences that could have added to your growth — emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually. Not only will you acquire knowledge, but you will also have plenty of stories to share, enabling you to practice your storytelling skills and making you the life of the party.

Embrace insanity — not to the point of admitting yourself into a mental ward. As John Russell once said, “Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.” Exactly! Every creative persuasion was once deemed insanity by other “normal” people at one time or another. Luckily, that did not stop the creative geniuses from standing by them. Sanity, or being normal, confines people to think within limits. Creativity is essentially breaking through barriers — yes, including the bizarre and the downright strange. It’s important that your creativity doesn’t detach you from the real world completely.

May this article inspire you to start thinking beyond your “limits.” If you follow these steps, very soon you’ll be living a life full of interesting adventures. Unleashing your creative thinking will bring about a new zest for living life.

Affirmations are very powerful tools that can be key in bringing about change in your life, whether it is in the form of personal change or bringing new situations into your life. Self-affirmations are healing, optimistic messages that you give to yourself to counter your negative messages. Affirmations resemble visualization with mental images, but words are used instead — words you say out loud, read, or write each day that will help you internalize what you want to be and what you hope to achieve. Affirmations are self-improvement prophecies that, when visualized and believed in, will come true.

Just repeating the words is not enough. Affirmations are not magical sentences that are said just a few times and then create miracles. For affirmations to produce results, they should be repeated often with feeling and conviction.

Affirmations are said starting with the words: “I am,” “I can,” and “I will.” An “I am” affirmation is a statement of who you are, such as “I am intelligent” or “I am creative.” An “I can” affirmation is a statement of your potential and power to change, such as “I can be strong” or “I can be a winner.” An “I will” affirmation is a statement of positive change that you want to accomplish, such as “I will control my temper” or “I will handle financial matters wisely today.” Affirmations should always be stated in a positive manner. An excellent way to use affirmations is to write down 30 of them, each on a separate index card. Each day of the month, focus on one affirmation. Keep the card with you, displayed in your sight, and read it out loud during the day.

Affirmations help you to improve yourself because, by nature, humans are compelled to follow what they believe in. What motivates you is your belief in the end result. If you continually tell yourself something, your inner self will make it become true. Affirmations strengthen ambition, create new solutions, and activate the subconscious mind in order to make your affirmation come true. The affirmations you repeat will become a positive habit that will result in self-improvement of your mind, body, and soul.

Affirmations are very powerful tools that can be key in bringing about change in your life, whether it is in the form of personal change or bringing new situations into your life. Self-affirmations are healing, optimistic messages that you give to yourself to counter your negative messages. Affirmations resemble visualization with mental images, but words are used instead — words you say out loud, read, or write each day that will help you internalize what you want to be and what you hope to achieve. Affirmations are self-improvement prophecies that, when visualized and believed in, will come true.

Just repeating the words is not enough. Affirmations are not magical sentences that are said just a few times and then create miracles. For affirmations to produce results, they should be repeated often with feeling and conviction.

Affirmations are said starting with the words: “I am,” “I can,” and “I will.” An “I am” affirmation is a statement of who you are, such as “I am intelligent” or “I am creative.” An “I can” affirmation is a statement of your potential and power to change, such as “I can be strong” or “I can be a winner.” An “I will” affirmation is a statement of positive change that you want to accomplish, such as “I will control my temper” or “I will handle financial matters wisely today.” Affirmations should always be stated in a positive manner. An excellent way to use affirmations is to write down 30 of them, each on a separate index card. Each day of the month, focus on one affirmation. Keep the card with you, displayed in your sight, and read it out loud during the day.

Affirmations help you to improve yourself because, by nature, humans are compelled to follow what they believe in. What motivates you is your belief in the end result. If you continually tell yourself something, your inner self will make it become true. Affirmations strengthen ambition, create new solutions, and activate the subconscious mind in order to make your affirmation come true. The affirmations you repeat will become a positive habit that will result in self-improvement of your mind, body, and soul.

Self-knowledge means more personal power. You can more effectively use a computer when you know more about it, and in the same way, you can more effectively use your own brainpower, mind, and body when you understand them better. There is, however, one big stumbling block to learning more about ourselves. It is our tendency to rationalize, as demonstrated in the extreme in the following true story.

Jack, while hypnotized by his therapist, was given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up and put on his coat whenever the doctor touched his nose. Once out of the trance, he and the doctor talked. During the conversation, the doctor scratched his nose, and Jack immediately stood up and put on his coat.

The doctor asked why. Jack said, “Oh, I thought we were finished,” and he took off the coat. A few minutes later, the doctor touched his nose again, and Jack again immediately stood up and put on his coat. “It’s getting cold in here,” he explained. By the third time, it was getting more difficult for Jack to explain his behavior, yet he still tried to.

Is this scenario really unique to hypnosis? Probably not. We are often just assuming that we know all that goes into our decisions and actions. Like poor Jack, we feel compelled to explain ourselves and to believe our own explanations. Of course, this isn’t self-knowledge, but self-explanation or rationalization, and it is one of our strongest human habits.

Self Knowledge Versus Self Explanation

When a child throws a book at his brother and his mother demands, “Why would you do that!?” what usually happens? The child answers, “I don’t know,” which is true, but entirely unacceptable. With five seconds to come up with an answer, the best psychologists couldn’t understand the child’s action with certainty, yet a five-year-old is expected to do just that.

Though he may not understand, he learns quickly how to explain himself. With this pressure to explain, it is no wonder that by adulthood, we rarely say “I don’t know” when asked about our behavior. Instead, we simply create an explanation. Isn’t this a problem if we want true self-knowledge? How do we learn the true causes of our behavior if we already have our explanations?

Self Knowledge — I Don’t Know

A better approach is to say “I don’t know.” If it helps, follow it with “Maybe it’s because of…” and let the explanations spill out, but don’t be too quick to accept any of them. It isn’t always necessary to explain.

For example, suppose you are avoiding a certain person. If you never know why you are avoiding them, isn’t it better to leave the question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of self-justification and rationalization? When you leave questions unanswered, you may someday have a better understanding. A quick answer just means a quick stop in your thinking, and less self-knowledge.

Why not just say, “I don’t know.” Isn’t it better to learn to accept your ignorance and to keep observing yourself? Don’t let self-explanation get in the way of self-knowledge.

We all know someone who is extremely charismatic, confident, extroverted?, and the most popular and loved person when they enter a room and everyone just wants to be around them! People who are like this NOW but weren’t always like this, what’s your secret?

Update: THANK YOU TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this, I’m almost crying thinking there’s a whole bunch of people online who are willing to help a brother out with no judgment! Thank you.

Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things, but this is just a process in our minds. In fact, this identification causes us to suffer.

Your favorite basketball team loses, and you suffer as though YOU lost. Your car is damaged, and it feels like YOU are hurt. Somebody attacks who they think you are, and it is as though they could actually reach inside and poke at your true self. Is there a way to escape this unnecessary drama and pain?

Perhaps, if you can see what you are not. Seeing this clearly can free you from much of the suffering that comes from identification. Try this simple meditation.

A Meditation On Self Identity

Get comfortable in a quiet place. Close your eyes, relax, and take several deep breaths, breathing through your nose. Let your breathing fall into a natural pattern. Allow tension to drain from your body.

Now begin by asking: Where am I? What am I? Who am I? Let these questions sit for a moment in your mind.

Be aware of your body. Think of your leg. If you lost it, would you cease to exist? Are you your leg? Go through the parts of your body, asking: “Am I here?” “Is this my self?”

Open your eyes and look around you. Are you those things? You may feel pain when your favorite chair breaks, as though it were you. But you’re not that chair. Ask yourself which of these things you own are you. “Am I this?”

Close your eyes and say your name. Do you feel a sense of identity? What if you had no name? Ask “Am I really…” and say your name again. What’s the honest answer? If this one is tough, say “I am…” and insert any other name. Notice how when you call yourself by another name, you feel differently. Your name-identity is a collection of ideas — something seen differently by you and others.

As feelings arise, ask: “Am I this fear? … this pain, desire, sadness, pleasure, anger?” Your feelings are not you — they just pass through you. Your clothes, your body, your reputation — none of it is your true self-identity.

Do this meditation for twenty minutes, then take a deep breath and get up. Notice if you feel different — less worried or less attached to things, feelings, and thoughts. Do the meditation as often as necessary to remind you of what you are not.

You hear it all the time; “follow your dream”, “discover your dream”, “dreams do come true”. The way people talk about LIVING YOUR DREAM, it’s as if everyone must have one!

I think they do, which means I think YOU do! So, if in fact the rather bold statement I just made is true, how do you go about bringing your dream to light? These tips will help.

1. ALLOW yourself to dream.

We STOP dreaming because at some point in our life we were told the dream we had was unrealistic. And after hearing it enough times from others we started believing it too. A dream that once felt so good to think about and seemed so possible to achieve, suddenly left us feeling silly for ever having it. So we did the only thing we could do, we packed our dream(s) safely away, not to be shared again.

Just because your dream is packed away for safe keeping, doesn’t mean it no longer exists. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps trying to get your attention! If you’ve ever had a notion there was “more” to life, listen up — your dream is talking!

How can you gently coax your dream back into the light?

You can ask yourself: “If money was no object, and failure was not a concern, what would I do with my life?”

As we get older we get more practical. But when you’re trying to unleash a dream there’s no room for practicality. Asking the question above will give you free rein to dream away! There will be plenty of opportunities for practical matters later on. For now, give yourself permission to once again dream and when you do, dream BIG!

2. Don’t judge your dream.

There isn’t a scale on which dreams are measured. In other words, one dream is no better or worse than another dream. Your DREAM is YOUR dream!

If, since the time you were eight years old, you’ve wanted to study the life and habitat of iguanas, perhaps your dream is exactly what you need to do to feel your best and to live a life you find meaningful.

The consequence of not living your dream? What about the poor iguanas!

There’s a reason you have the dream you have. In the big cosmic picture of life, your dream serves a purpose to all life on this earth. If you don’t live your dream, the rest of us are missing out.

The second tip for bringing your dream to light: Don’t JUDGE your dream. Rather, embrace it — it’s yours for a reason.

3. Practice patience.

Dreams take time to unfold, especially when you haven’t allowed yourself to dream for awhile.

Some people know their dream from an early age. For the rest of us, we need to remain open and curious as to what our dream is. Listen to your gut, heart and soul and trust they have the answers you seek.

It may take some time for your dream to be revealed. Therefore, the last tip is to HAVE PATIENCE. It may take time to bring your dream to light, but it’ll be worth the wait.

Allow yourself to dream, don’t judge the dream you have and practice patience: three actions you can take today to bring your dream to light.

You hear it all the time; “follow your dream”, “discover your dream”, “dreams do come true”. The way people talk about LIVING YOUR DREAM, it’s as if everyone must have one!

I think they do, which means I think YOU do! So, if in fact the rather bold statement I just made is true, how do you go about bringing your dream to light? These tips will help.

1. ALLOW yourself to dream.

We STOP dreaming because at some point in our life we were told the dream we had was unrealistic. And after hearing it enough times from others we started believing it too. A dream that once felt so good to think about and seemed so possible to achieve, suddenly left us feeling silly for ever having it. So we did the only thing we could do, we packed our dream(s) safely away, not to be shared again.

Just because your dream is packed away for safe keeping, doesn’t mean it no longer exists. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps trying to get your attention! If you’ve ever had a notion there was “more” to life, listen up — your dream is talking!

How can you gently coax your dream back into the light?

You can ask yourself: “If money was no object, and failure was not a concern, what would I do with my life?”

As we get older we get more practical. But when you’re trying to unleash a dream there’s no room for practicality. Asking the question above will give you free rein to dream away! There will be plenty of opportunities for practical matters later on. For now, give yourself permission to once again dream and when you do, dream BIG!

2. Don’t judge your dream.

There isn’t a scale on which dreams are measured. In other words, one dream is no better or worse than another dream. Your DREAM is YOUR dream!

If, since the time you were eight years old, you’ve wanted to study the life and habitat of iguanas, perhaps your dream is exactly what you need to do to feel your best and to live a life you find meaningful.

The consequence of not living your dream? What about the poor iguanas!

There’s a reason you have the dream you have. In the big cosmic picture of life, your dream serves a purpose to all life on this earth. If you don’t live your dream, the rest of us are missing out.

The second tip for bringing your dream to light: Don’t JUDGE your dream. Rather, embrace it — it’s yours for a reason.

3. Practice patience.

Dreams take time to unfold, especially when you haven’t allowed yourself to dream for awhile.

Some people know their dream from an early age. For the rest of us, we need to remain open and curious as to what our dream is. Listen to your gut, heart and soul and trust they have the answers you seek.

It may take some time for your dream to be revealed. Therefore, the last tip is to HAVE PATIENCE. It may take time to bring your dream to light, but it’ll be worth the wait.

Allow yourself to dream, don’t judge the dream you have and practice patience: three actions you can take today to bring your dream to light.

In your mind, what does Living Well mean to you? Does it mean you have plenty of money to do whatever you want? Does it mean you get to spend your time as you wish? Does living well conjure up the image of beautiful cars and homes and luxurious vacations?

As they say, if you can dream it you can achieve it. However, a vivid imagination in and of itself does not lead to getting what you want. You also have to take supportive, concrete actions. In order to live well, it may be necessary for you to do some things differently than you’re doing today. Below is a list of three key points to keep in mind if you have the desire to live well but have no idea how to actually start doing so.

1. Learn How to Live Well

If you’ve never actually lived well, it may seem like a big leap to do so. But what if you could learn how to live well? You can!

There are dozens, if not hundreds of books, courses, apps, online programs, and other helpful sources of information which will teach you how to get what you want. In fact, the entire personal growth/self-help industry is founded on the intention of helping people live better than they are today.

For example: If you dream of making a lot of money, but today you’re barely scraping by, there are several excellent books, online courses, and seminars that will help you learn how to make a lot of money.

Another example: If you dream of traveling the world, there are hundreds of books and publications that will show you how to travel the world, either on a budget or luxuriously.

The point here is if you want something, there is a way to get it. You just have to learn how to get it. Invest in yourself and your dreams. You and they are worth the time and money you’ll spend doing so.

2. Create Rich Life Experiences

Life is really just a series of experiences. Some experiences we learn and grow from and others set us back. Other experiences make us feel fantastic and some leave us feeling stressed out.

Instead of waiting for great experiences to fall in your lap, create your own rich life experiences.

Rich Life Experiences are experiences you create for yourself from a state of purpose. In other words, you decide what kind of experience you wish to have and then you make it happen!

For instance, if you’re someone who loves fine wines, create opportunities for yourself to learn more about different kinds of wines. Visit local wine tasting events and when you outgrow that experience plan a trip to California’s wine country or take a class from a world renowned wine expert!

Rich life experiences occur when you take something you’re passionate about and find ways in which you can fully immerse yourself in your passion.

Creating rich life experiences for yourself will allow you to live life fully.

3. Keep Life Simple

LIVING WELL does not equal DOING MORE. On the contrary, living well may require you to cut way back and focus your time and attention on just a few select parts of your life.

Two great questions that will help you keep it simple are:

What do I really want? And,

If I could do anything, be anything or have anything I wanted, what would I do, be or have?

Now, brainstorm a list of at least 25 things. Then see if there are groups of themes in your list. For example, if you write down you want to travel to Paris, Africa and China; you can group all of these together under TRAVEL!

The themes you see on your list will give you a place to start focusing your attention.

Focusing your attention will give you more energy to do the things you really want to do because you won’t be pulled in too many directions doing things you don’t really want to do.

For maximum efficiency, pick only two or three things from your list to focus your attention on at any given time and then give those few things your all!

You can live well. Decide what living well means to you, learn how to get what you want, create rich life experiences for yourself and keep life simple.

David sat in front of a workshop facilitator at a five-day intensive workshop. A successful businessman with a wife and two grown children, David believed that he was not good enough.

“I’m insufficient,” he said. “I’m inadequate.”

The facilitator looked at this kind man and felt deep sadness for him. He did not know who he was.

“Why do you believe that?” the facilitator asked.

“I didn’t do well in school, and I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life.”

“So you are basing your worth on your performance, right?”

“Of course.”

David could not conceive of any other way of defining his worth other than through his performance — which he never saw as good enough.

The facilitator asked David to look inside — at the essence of himself — and tell what he saw. All he saw was emptiness.

“David, please close your eyes. Now imagine a wonderful being who loves you very much. Who comes to mind?”

“My grandfather. He died when I was young, but he really loved me.”

“Good. Now imagine that you are seeing yourself through the eyes of your grandfather. What does your grandfather see when he looks at you?”

“He sees a bright and creative little boy, who is very kind and caring. A loving little boy. A little boy who is funny and likes to laugh, and likes to make other people laugh.”

“Is there anything wrong with this little boy? Anything inadequate or insufficient?”

“Oh no! He is a wonderful little boy.”

“David, this is who you really are. You are not your performance. Your performance will come and go, and at some point you might retire and not perform at all. Yet that does not mean that you are, therefore, worthless. Your worth is in who you are, not in what you do. Your worth is intrinsic.”

David realized that, because of his highly critical and rejecting parents, he had always been trying to prove himself and always came up short in their eyes. As a result of seeing himself as unworthy and inadequate, he did not treat himself well. He treated himself the way his parents had treated him — with criticism and neglect. He was always trying to take care of everyone else but rarely thought about taking care of himself. He was constantly abandoning himself emotionally, just as he had been emotionally abandoned by his parents.

“David, if you chose to see yourself as your grandfather saw you rather than how your parents saw you, how would you feel about yourself and how would you treat yourself?”

“I’ve just been thinking about that. I just realized that I treat my dog better than I treat myself! I would never judge my dog the way I judge myself.”

“So what would you do differently if you saw yourself the way your grandfather sees you?”

“I would stop judging myself as insufficient and inadequate. I’m a really good person. I am not at all insufficient or inadequate as a person. And I choose my friends based on who they are as people — not on their performance. So I obviously value the very qualities that I possess!”

“What else would you do if you really valued who you are?”

“I would listen to my own feelings and take care of my own needs instead of taking care of everyone else’s feelings and needs. I would no longer see it as selfish to take care of myself instead of taking care of everyone else. I would be at least as attentive to myself as I am to my dog!”

David was glowing. He was discovering who he really is, not who he thought he was.

People often think that their worth — who they really are — is based on looks and performance. Yet these qualities are transitory. What is real and eternal is who you are in your heart and soul. If you shift your definition of your worth from outer to inner, you will stop trying to prove yourself. You will know that you are already a beautiful being, totally deserving of love.

It’s everywhere. Product manufacturers sell it and we buy it. Advertising agencies capitalize on it. It’s idealized in books, T.V. shows and movies. And yet, it eludes us. It’s a mystery. And if we don’t have it we feel miserable and like we’re missing out on the one thing that will make life better. More peaceful. More beautiful. Because, after all, “everyone else has it”. But we don’t and we know it.

But we WANT it.

We want our life to work well, look well and feel great. We want our life to feel like a lazy afternoon on a beautiful summer day. We want it to be stress‑free and free‑flowing and heck, we even want it to smell good. Huh?

O.K., I admit, I want my life to smell good, but I’m not sure about you. I do know I want my senses to come alive with all things beautiful and peaceful.

Coordinated and organized.

Purposeful and meaningful.

But I had to learn, I hate to say it, to go with the flow. Because if I resist the flow, the thing I’m seeking teases me from a distance, yet is still in plain sight, only an arms length away. Tantalizing me with the thing, the experience, the peace‑of‑mind I want from the thing we know as BALANCE.

Before I could “find balance” I had to define what a balanced life looked like for me personally. But that’s not what this article’s about. This article’s about zapping the “illusion” of what a “life in balance” should look like, according to the picture of balance we are sold, again and again. Because whether we realize it or not, there’s an idealized picture of what a well‑balanced life looks like and then there’s reality. So, be aware of the following myths and then go about creating a life that feels great to you and you’ll finally, fortunately, find balance.

1. Balance is a one‑time event.

If only! First, let me say, unequivocally, balance is not something we arrive and stay at. Balance is dynamic. Ever‑changing. Moving. In order to balance a bicycle you need to keep it moving; to keep your life in balance you’ve got to keep it moving. And when you move anything there’s a chance for error. Crashing. Tipping over.

However, the alternative isn’t better. If we stay still, we run the danger of getting stuck in a rut. Trapped too long in our fears. Without movement we stop growing. We stop experiencing new things. We just stop.

Therefore, if we yearn for a well‑balanced life we have to get moving AND toughen up. We’re going to get bumped and bruised along the way. And that’s OK, because each bump and bruise makes us stronger. It also makes us grateful for the times when we have no worries and challenges and have the opportunity to sink into the sweetness of our life.

2. Balance = Perfect

We’ve all been there. “When” such‑and‑such happens my life will THEN be happier, peaceful, balanced. Phooey! No such thing as a perfect life. If no one has ever said it to you before, I’m saying it again; THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT LIFE!

Now, don’t get me wrong. As a personal growth enthusiast, I do think you can create a life that works well and feels great. Absolutely. But that has nothing to do with perfection. It has everything to do with acceptance.

We can’t be in the flow and find the sweet equilibrium of balance if we can’t accept our life for what it is today. Acceptance of what is releases us from the need to have things different, better, more. Acceptance allows us to experience the NOW more fully. It allows us to let our hair down. Acceptance helps us create our lives from a present state of mind. And the only way to feel “balanced” is NOW. Not tomorrow. Not yesterday.

Balance is all about the NOW and has nothing to do with perfection.

3. Balance is fluff.

Not really. However, I do agree, the images we see in TV ads and in magazines make balance appear a little bit fluffy. But in reality, the real down to earth experience of balance is far from fluff. It is real. It’s a state of present moment consciousness. It’s something we can feel in our body, in our minds and in our spirits.

We can create balance by tuning into our gut, our intuition and our feelings. We can listen to what our soul wants and then give it what it wants. Balance is something we create on the inside, not something we “find” on the outside. Balance isn’t so much about what we do; rather it’s about who we are being in each moment.

Balance requires our whole selves. It requires acknowledgement and awareness. In other words, balance is a state beyond what words can describe.

And when we feel it, we know it.

For most people in our society, life will hold little more than a dutiful slog in the 9–5 rat race for forty years before retiring. Many will look back on their lives and wished they’d had an opportunity to have done something different. Some may have even had opportunities to do so but didn’t take them. One thought is very common: “I wish I could’ve done something else but I never really knew what I wanted to do.”

Sounds familiar, yes?

Relax. Because I can help you identify what it is you’d really like to do and I can show you how to begin. It all starts by asking yourself three very important questions and I believe these questions are the most important questions you can ask yourself. Here they are:

1. What, EXACTLY, do I want to do? This question gets straight to the heart of the matter and it requires SPECIFIC answers. Also, your answer should be something you have a passion for and are genuinely interested in and not something you think others would be impressed with. It should be something you feel so strongly about that missing out on it will make you seriously unhappy. By this, I mean IT WILL HURT YOU DEEPLY if you don’t at least give it a shot. Take the time to think seriously about this question, at least 30 minutes a day as this is the first step towards getting what you want. Be thorough. Think about how you’d like to spend each day of your life, and think about what you don’t want to do and what you’d like to change about how you spend your days right now.

2. What do I have to do to get it? This question requires answers about the practicalities required to achieve your goal. It will cover the necessary skills — what skills do you have now that you can use and what new skills will you need to develop? You’ll need to know about courses or training programs you’ll need to take and you’ll need to identify how much practice or study you’ll have to do. Other considerations will be things like location as you may have to move somewhere else, people you need to connect with, making contacts, networking, equipment — anything you find that is a necessary part of achieving your goal.

3. What am I prepared to give to ensure I succeed? When you’ve identified what you want to do and what this will entail, you then need to decide what you’re going to give to make your dream happen. Success demands a price. In particular, we have the 3 kings: Time, Money and Commitment. How much time are you prepared to give? Are you prepared to sacrifice other activities to free up more time? Time is the most precious resource you have and it is a non-renewable resource. It is important you give a significant portion of your free time to the pursuit of your goal. Next comes money. You will have to be prepared to invest money in your project — IN YOURSELF — to make progress. This could mean purchasing equipment, attending seminars, courses, property, books, raw materials etc. and without such an investment, it is unlikely your project will get off the ground. Finally, how committed are you to making your dream happen? In my opinion, if you’re serious about getting the lifestyle and the success you truly want, you must be 100% committed to it. This will mean making sacrifices: friends, socializing, working long hours, working weekends — in short, sacrificing many of the things you enjoy doing today so you can create a better tomorrow. If you love something and you want to achieve a high standard of success, you will have to devote lots and lots of time to it and place it above everything else. Are you prepared to do this?

You now have three empowering questions to help you get started on creating a new life for yourself. Please make the time to think seriously about the answers you want to give to them and you’ll reap the rewards.

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1. Forced and unhealthy communication

Watch TV, open the newspaper, listen to the radio, or visit news sites on the Internet and you’ll immediately notice that the amount of human failure and disaster one is exposed to is disheartening. If you are like me, you may find yourself avoiding these sources of news and “entertainment” because you can’t stand the amount of negativity that infiltrates your mind and harmfully impacts your energy-state. Much of the negativity in the world is sourced from people having an unhealthy, low level of self-esteem. Research suggests a significant portion of the population struggles with some form of diminished self-esteem at various points in life.

Low self-esteem causes feelings of discomfort, unhappiness, anger, fear, procrastination, frustration, shyness and incapability. This array of negative thought processes and sensations causes people to look for artificial ways to cover up their lack of confidence by taking on forced or unnatural behaviors. Three of the most common ways of covering up a negative self-image, diminished self-esteem and low confidence levels are:

Forced acts of communication are ways we relate with each other in an unnatural and destructive way. Examples of unproductive communication could be uncontrolled anger, screaming or abusive language, or making unfair or unproductive remarks. All too often, when we feel uncomfortable in social situations or fear being controlled by another, we try to gain the upper hand by dominating the other person in some manner. For example, your spouse might make a remark that causes you to feel poorly about yourself or attacked in some way. Most of the time, we react to what someone says when they bring up something we cannot be at peace with about how we see ourselves. This reactive feeling can sometimes be a sign of diminished self-esteem. As a result of feeling threatened, you might counter with an aggressive or hostile remark of your own. Before long, you have unintentionally begun a downward spiral in communication that will surely erode your relationship over time.

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Lacking self-esteem likewise impacts all other areas of life. Additional examples include fear of public speaking, ineffective professional communication, pursuing a career that is not in alignment with one’s passions and life-purpose, dating or even marrying people that do not match up well with our most important values because we fear we may not attract our ideal partner, and bringing up children to be fear-based, reactive, or unhealthy in their perceptions of the world and in their relationships with others.

2. Sleeping Excessively in order to Escape from Reality

Do you know anyone who “sleeps their time away?” For many people, sleeping can become a way to escape painful feelings of incapability, fear, discomfort, unworthiness, and weakness. These feelings can stem from the interpretation that one is somehow unlovable or not good enough, and may be related to low self-esteem levels. They drain our energy and cause internal friction that makes us tired. For some, sleeping becomes the easiest escape rather than learning to face life’s challenges. Sleeping is a natural means of recuperation — so upon awakening, all challenges can be coped with more easily with fresh energy. However some people use sleep not for regeneration but to numb emotional pain. When sleep becomes a chronic escape strategy, problems can remain unaddressed and unsolved and so tend to become worse with the passing of time. (Note: Persistent excessive sleeping can also be a symptom of depression or other medical conditions, and readers experiencing this should consider speaking with a healthcare professional.)

3. Use of Alcohol, Drugs, and Cigarettes

Notice how often people look for ways to numb emotional pain rather than address the source of their challenges. Many find comfort in cigarettes as a stress reliever. The underlying source of mental stress and bodily tension can sometimes be related to diminished self-esteem. So often, people condition themselves to turn to alcohol or drugs after experiencing a stressful event. Rather than deal with the causes of life’s disappointments, relationship challenges, or ineffective communication, it’s often easier to look for ways to forget about the problems by turning to alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. These forms of escaping uncomfortable feelings that may be related to low confidence, a poor self-image and low self-esteem often result in compounded health and social challenges of their own. In addition to their harmful physical effects, drugs and alcohol can amplify negative feelings and thus result in further destructive behavior. In this way, they compound already present challenges and can create a worsening cycle.

Low self-esteem is often one contributing factor among several that leads to these destructive and escape-seeking behaviors. Rather than detach from or attempt to escape challenges that may be linked to a poor self-image and low self-confidence, there are more effective ways to live a more powerful, happier and more abundant life — including therapy, support groups, building self-compassion, and working on gradually elevating one’s sense of self-worth.

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You hear it all the time; “follow your dream”, “discover your dream”, “dreams do come true”. The way people talk about LIVING YOUR DREAM, it’s as if everyone must have one!

I think they do, which means I think YOU do! So, if in fact the rather bold statement I just made is true, how do you go about bringing your dream to light? These tips will help.

1. ALLOW yourself to dream.

We STOP dreaming because at some point in our life we were told the dream we had was unrealistic. And after hearing it enough times from others we started believing it too. A dream that once felt so good to think about and seemed so possible to achieve, suddenly left us feeling silly for ever having it. So we did the only thing we could do, we packed our dream(s) safely away, not to be shared again.

Just because your dream is packed away for safe keeping, doesn’t mean it no longer exists. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps trying to get your attention! If you’ve ever had a notion there was “more” to life, listen up — your dream is talking!

How can you gently coax your dream back into the light?

You can ask yourself: “If money was no object, and failure was not a concern, what would I do with my life?”

As we get older we get more practical. But when you’re trying to unleash a dream there’s no room for practicality. Asking the question above will give you free rein to dream away! There will be plenty of opportunities for practical matters later on. For now, give yourself permission to once again dream and when you do, dream BIG!

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2. Don’t judge your dream.

There isn’t a scale on which dreams are measured. In other words, one dream is no better or worse than another dream. Your DREAM is YOUR dream!

If, since the time you were eight years old, you’ve wanted to study the life and habitat of iguanas, perhaps your dream is exactly what you need to do to feel your best and to live a life you find meaningful.

The consequence of not living your dream? What about the poor iguanas!

There’s a reason you have the dream you have. In the big cosmic picture of life, your dream serves a purpose to all life on this earth. If you don’t live your dream, the rest of us are missing out.

The second tip for bringing your dream to light: Don’t JUDGE your dream. Rather, embrace it — it’s yours for a reason.

3. Practice patience.

Dreams take time to unfold, especially when you haven’t allowed yourself to dream for awhile.

Some people know their dream from an early age. For the rest of us, we need to remain open and curious as to what our dream is. Listen to your gut, heart and soul and trust they have the answers you seek.

It may take some time for your dream to be revealed. Therefore, the last tip is to HAVE PATIENCE. It may take time to bring your dream to light, but it’ll be worth the wait.

Allow yourself to dream, don’t judge the dream you have and practice patience: three actions you can take today to bring your dream to light.

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