r/GetMotivated

I hope this is okay and the right place for this. It's going to be a bit of a vent and a bit of a story. I have delt with depression amd anxiety since I was a very young child (like, 5 years old kind of young).

I [36f] am so incredibly lost and hopeless. It's been this way for so long, I don't even know my own personality that much anymore. When I was 18, I lost my best friend (my brother) in a car accident. I didn't get any help and my previous lifelong depression deepened. I was the last child living at home still and so my mom also didn't want me going anywhere and enabled me as well as never taught me how to drive. I developed a deep fear of driving, even getting severe anxiety when a passenger of a car. They also never helped me through the process of getting a job and told me that I didn't need one. Being 18, this was obviously very deterimental to my growth.

By the time I moved out with my boyfriend my mind was already solidifying with all of my previous self hatred thoughts and now included that thiughts that I was a complete and utter failure and that nothing I ever tried to do mattered. I still tried. I applied to a school to keep at least one interest that was still around: photography. The person I talked to at the school just insulted my portfolio and basically told me that I suck at that. Last interest of mine that was disintegrated away.

With my boyfriends help I was able to get a job. But I only lasted 3 months before the depression got as bad as it did when I was in high school (where I almost didn't make it). Maybe 10 years later I got another job with my boyfriend's help, but now I have an injured wrist that doesn't seem to be able to be healed. The depression mixed with the pain caused me to only last a month.

Nowadays I can go out at least once a week, but its incredibly exhausting.

I'm trying to apply for college (online classes) again, but I don't really see the point. I feel like, at this point, I'm living only because I want to make sure my boyfriend is happy because I know he would be sad if I go through with anything. But I feel like my options are burning or jumping (if that makes sense). I don't really feel like a person. I have no job, no money, no skills save for some mediocre storytelling (I GM for him because we both need to escapism). I'm a burden financially, and due to this my boyfriend works a lot so he can take care of bith of us. Idk what I would do without him. He is the best thing in my life.

I can't even clean very well due to my wrist (along with no motivation) so I live in a place that looks like the beginnings of a hoarder's place (though I try to keep it clean from trash. It's mostly just stuff).

Recently, I lost someone else and I can't seem to get through it. It's a different kind of grief and I can't handle it with everything else going on.

I just loathe my existence and I don't see the point of even finding motivation because I don't think I'll be able to do anything anyway.

I know this may have been disjointed amd its clearly not the whole story, but my head is just brain fog. I've always had a hard time focusing and learning as well.

Due to my only option for insurance, I've never been able to have a long term therapist. Just short term clinicians that emd up having to get to know me all over again. The progess is incredibly slow.

I guess, if I had to ask, how do you find the motivation to want motivation? Or maybe that is the wrong question. How do you find motivation when life is so pointless and cruel? Even if I do miraculously get a job I can do with no skills, panic attacks, and a screwed up wrist; why would I want it? I'll just still be broke and miserable, but instead just making someone else rich instead. I'm socially inept as well, so I don't even know how to make friends. Amd at this age everyone else gets to have a family. They don't want a friend like me because why in the world would they?

What do I do when I am paralyzed? Even signing up for my next class feels impossible. Like someone put a lock on my mind and it goes into a confused spiral of nothingness. Like it just stops working. I've sat down at my PC so many time and told myself to just do it. But I just... can't.

And now, at my age, as a woman... what does it matter anyway? It seems as though a lot of people are not only ageist, but also that women have some sort of weird useful age that it 30 and younger. How do I compete with that?

I'm sorry this was so disjointed. Most of the time my posts just get deleted anyway. It's so hard to ask for help now, but I'll give it another go anyway because idk what else to do.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I also have an allergy to bith the heat and the uvb rays of the sun

For context im a 23M, 6'7" tall with a SW of 422, CW 380. Yes I am being supervised by a couple doctors throughout this experience.

In about 8 days itll be 2 months since I started dieting. So far ive lost about 42 pounds and thats great but for the past week or so ive hit a mental plateau. Kinda eating bad for a couple days (no where near as bad but far from good) then go back to a few days of eating borderline nothing. Mentally ive hit this roller coaster and I dont want to slow down, but i feel as if I need a mental reset to get me back into what I was doing. YES I know how im doing it isnt healthy. This isnt forever, just something im doing before a vacation day and was hoping to be around 360 by then. If i want to reach 360 by then I need to start losing the weight again in the next few days or sooner.

Basically I just want some ideas how I can get past this mental block and get back to it and some encouragement would be great appreciated.

Hello everyone, this is really a hard topic for me but i feel like this is the only place i can let it all out. I am a fresh graduate and a month ago i was so eager to get a job, earn money, etc. and today was actually my first day and i didnt expect it but i feel so overwhelmed and im so scared of the changes. first day of work was supposed to be fun, i had fun but when i got home i just had a breakdown.

I feel so weak when facing these changes, it feels as if i'm not a kid anymore and this is such a huge step. can you imagine how fast everything was that just in a few weeks after my college life ended im already stepping into the world of adulthood? I don't know, i feel funny even writing about this but fear of the uncertainty and the fear of not being in my comfort zone really scares me. I'm not ready for a job but then i thought to myself, waiting for the right time is waiting for a lifetime. i feel like it is better to get used to these changes now rather than later in life.

Have you guys ever felt scared of the big changes? i feel so weak crying about this.

I used to keep a lot of thoughts in my head like plans, regrets, things I told myself I’d “fix later.”
But I noticed something weird: “later” never really arrives.

So I started doing something simple. I began writing short messages to my future self. Not motivational quotes or journaling but just honest notes like:
what I’m struggling with right now, what I’m avoiding, what I hope I don’t forget.

And I set them to be opened weeks or months later.
What surprised me wasn’t the “motivation” part. It was how much more accountable I felt in the present, knowing I’d eventually have to face my own words again.

It kind of changed how I make decisions day to day.
Has anyone else tried something like this, writing to your future self or documenting your mindset over time?

somewhere along the way you picked up this belief, so quietly you don't remember agreeing to it, that good things coming easily to you means you probably don't deserve them. that the struggle is what makes anything count. that if something doesn't cost you something significant it probably wasn't really earned and therefore can't really be kept.

so you make things harder than they have to be. you hesitate to accept help because taking help feels like cheating. you feel vaguely suspicious of a stretch where things are actually going okay, like you haven't paid enough yet for it to be real. you hold yourself to a standard that you would never apply to anyone you actually cared about because if your friend was struggling you'd want the path to get easier for them, not harder.

the standard you apply to yourself is different. stricter. less forgiving. built on a logic that punishment and effort are the currencies that make good things legitimate.

this shows up in small ways constantly. you take the harder version of an option when an easier one exists, not because the harder version is actually better but because the easier version feels like something you haven't justified yet. you apologize for needing things that are completely reasonable to need. you frame your own good news in qualifiers before anyone's even had a chance to react, as if preemptively shrinking it protects you from the embarrassment of being happy about something that then goes wrong.

it doesn't come from nowhere. it usually traces back to an environment where effort was the only thing that reliably got acknowledged, where just existing wasn't enough, where the attention came when you achieved something not when you just were. so you internalized the formula and now you run it on everything, including your own right to rest, to accept things gracefully, to let good things land without immediately checking whether you've earned them sufficiently.

you're allowed to let something be easy. easy doesn't mean undeserved. sometimes it just means you finally got something right, or got lucky, or ended up in the right place at the right time, and all three of those outcomes are allowed to happen to you without you immediately making them harder to justify accepting.

put down the extra weight you keep adding. just for today. see what it feels like to move without it.

A lot of people wait for confidence before beginning.

But sometimes confidence only shows up after the first few awkward attempts.

What did you start before you felt ready?

For a long time I told myself I would begin once conditions were right. Once I had more time, more energy, more clarity. The bar kept moving and nothing got started.

A few months ago I made a small decision. I would take one concrete step toward a goal before I felt confident enough to take it. Not a dramatic overhaul, just one step. The kind you can do in ten minutes on a tired Tuesday evening.

What surprised me wasn't that the steps added up, though they did. What surprised me was that keeping a small promise to myself changed how I saw myself. I started trusting my own word again. That shift mattered more than any single result.

I think a lot of us are waiting for motivation to arrive before we move. In my experience it tends to work the other way around. Movement comes first, then the feeling follows.

If you've been stuck at the starting line, I'm not going to tell you to think bigger or dream harder. Just pick something embarrassingly small and do it today. Not because it will change everything on its own, but because it starts rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself.

Since 2005, I’ve spent most of my life under the influence of alcohol and various substances. My biggest struggles were opiates, and more recently meth and fentanyl.
Today I have six months sober.
I’ve been tattooing since 2006, and for the first time I’m trying to put myself out there as the sober version of me. That’s exciting, but also terrifying.
The tattoo community can sometimes feel full of judgment and stigma, but if I’m being honest, I’m probably my own harshest critic.
I know I’m capable of doing better work than I’ve ever done because I’m finally clear-headed. I trust my Higher Power. It’s really my own insecurities that keep holding me back.
For anyone who’s rebuilt their life after addiction, how did you get past the fear of putting yourself out there again? What helped you believe in yourself?
Any advice, encouragement, or words of wisdom would mean a lot to me

I moved back to my home country in 2022 for cheaper college, but ultimately fell in love with a friend from high school, and stayed for him. He was incredibly manipulative, abusive, and controlling, to the point that sexu@l ass@ult was a common occurrence, and he would fake seizures and mental episodes to make me stay. I was young, and other than him I was alone, and so I couldn’t fathom that anything was truly wrong. Then, last November 2025, he cheated on me with our roommate, told me he “needed to explore his queerness” and tried to trap me into a polycule with them.

That was the worst night of my life. But it was the night I saved myself. I told him that I was leaving, and he’d never see me again. And so I left the next day, and he never saw me again. I stayed with my grandparents, sold the little I owned, and worked every. Single. Day. For a month and a half, to save up to move back to America with my immediate family. I moved in January 2026. That was when I was literally going to give up my USA green card, to stay with him, and he pulls this shit. He tried to steal my green card, SSN, and birth certificate. He showed up at my workplace multiple times, my friends told me. But to no avail. When I told him he’d never see me again, I meant it.

I didn’t get to move to NYC right away. Everything I had saved barely covered my expenses for a plane ticket and relocation. I am happy to be with my family again, but I hate their small town that they chose to move to. I’m working two jobs here, making ends meet, and saving everything I earn, which at the same time is barely anything.

Thankfully, I do live near NYC. I was going to give up NYC for him. But instead I am there, every couple of months, and I feel alive again. I know it’s where I belong. I want it more than anything. I am working 6 days a week, busting my ass to get there.

My parents don’t make nearly enough to make me a potential nepo-baby, they wouldn’t even be able to be my guarantors. I will be completely and utterly alone. But what a blessing that is, isn’t it? To be alone, to be entirely in control of my own life. Had things gone differently, I would be trapped in a polycule with a psychopathic monster. I’m taking a risk, I’m taking the hard path, but that is entirely my own choice.

I’m moving this August. Today, I finished saving just enough to last two months off of my savings alone. I‘ve spent 5+ years working as an excellent barista in coffee shops in my home country, I’ll go back to doing that, and focus on my career later. I will be applying to multiple places a day, on foot. I have a tiny room booked for a temporary stay, in a townhouse with 8 others my age. I have friends with a few leads for jobs, but ultimately, I’ll be looking on my own.

Will I make it? I tell everyone that I will. But the truth is, I’m terrified that I won’t. I just don’t see any other option. I can’t imagine what I will do if I fail.

And so I’m going to keep trying. I’ve survived every single day leading up to this.

Hey everyone,

I wanted to come here and ask for some motivation. I’ve been locked in all summer long with school that I’ve been having FOMO seeing everyone else having fun. I have been working my ass off in turning my life around and can proudly say I’ve been really amazing. I feel my momentum is really good and I’m ok with having fun later in the fall since nursing apps are due in August but I would appreciate any words of support to get over it

A while back I was convinced I had nothing worth offering. I kept starting things and walking away right before they had any real chance to work. A new habit, a creative project, a goal I had been putting off for years. Every single time, the moment it got uncomfortable or slow, I found a reason to stop.

What changed things for me was a conversation with someone who pointed out that I was always leaving at the exact same point in the process. Not at the beginning and not after a real failure. Right in the middle, when progress felt invisible and doubt felt loudest. They called it the gap between effort and evidence.

Once I recognized that pattern I started treating that uncomfortable middle stretch as a signal that I was actually moving forward, not as proof that I should quit. The resistance meant something real was happening.

It did not happen overnight. But staying in that gap long enough to see small results completely rewired how I approach anything worth doing now.

If you are in that middle stretch right now where nothing feels like it is working, you might be closer than you think. That discomfort is not a stop sign. It is just part of the road.

What helped you push through when progress felt invisible?

Going to be a slight rant. Currently in final year high school. I lived pretty comfortably and never really felt the burning need to study, but I still do and usually ends up top 3 or 5 in class. No ambition, nothing. Just that 'exams are nearing, so I gotta lock in'.

Chose a science + math course for HS to prepare for university entrance exams which are a rat's race here and my family wants me to try them. And since I never really had a goal, I was onboard with it, until days started ticking and I practically have only a year to prepare for it, on top of my final year exams with constant classes at school.

The entrance exams here are practically impossible because of the sheer amount of people trying them and its deterring me more and more. Then comes my classmates, who used to be behind me in studies, suddenly acing exams. The entrance exam isn't what I wanted but here, all other options are a hit or miss so its regarded as the 'safe option'. I really want to know if I can finally get the motivation to prepare for it.

Studying is all I've ever done and for it to be out of my grasps is a horrible feeling. I have no problems trying to ace the final year exams but when its the entrance exam, I just stop studying. Topping these finals don't contribute anything to university apart from signing up for normal degree programs. So I'm kind of in a dilemma. My family is pretty chill regarding studies and wouldn't really mind if I chose a different career path after trying the entrance exam out so the lack of pressure is another thing. Would like it if anyone could advice me on this though.

So basically today I had a serious conversation with my dad. He told me that wanting a stable job, a car and apartment is not motivation, that I need to want something bigger from life, have dreams and goals

Honestly I’m not sure what I want beyond existing, I don’t really want a family, I don‘t want anything too fancy, I don’t desire a successful career. I want to come back from work and browse things on my computer, chat to friends, to learn new stuff and to drive a car to my apartment/the store. I used to be suicidal but I’m not anymore and I’m medicated.

So I decided to do what I always do when I’m not sure what to do - I decided to ask Reddit! Can you guys suggest me some kind of a life goal? I honestly don’t want anything but be safe, have my own stuff and do stuff I like

A year ago I was convinced I had hit my ceiling. Work felt pointless, my personal goals were gathering dust, and every morning I woke up already exhausted by the thought of the day ahead. I kept telling myself that some people are just built for momentum and I wasn't one of them.

Then someone said something simple that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. They said: you're not stuck, you're just between versions of yourself.

That reframe changed everything. I stopped measuring my worth by how far I'd come and started treating each small action as proof that the next version of me was already taking shape. A short walk. One honest conversation. Finishing a task I'd been avoiding for weeks. None of it was dramatic, but all of it was evidence.

Hard seasons don't last forever because nothing does. What carried me through was refusing to let a rough chapter convince me the whole story was over.

If you're in a low point right now, I genuinely think you're closer to the turn than you feel. The gap between who you are and who you want to be isn't a wall. It's just the next stretch of road.

What's one small thing that helped you push through when you felt like giving up?

Not a dramatic breakdown, just that quiet, creeping feeling that nothing I was doing was actually moving the needle. I kept showing up, kept putting in the work, but the results felt nonexistent. I almost stopped entirely.

Then someone told me something simple that genuinely changed my perspective. They said most growth happens underground before it ever shows above the surface. Like a tree spending years building roots before you ever see it shoot up.

That reframed everything for me. All those days I felt like I was spinning my wheels, I was actually building the foundation. The discipline, the habits, the mental toughness, none of it was wasted. It was just root work.

If you're in that invisible phase right now, the phase where you're doing everything right but seeing nothing yet, I want you to know it's not meaningless. The gap between effort and visible results is where most people quit. That's exactly why pushing through it matters so much.

You don't have to feel motivated every day. You just have to keep going anyway.

What kept you going during a period when progress felt completely invisible? Hearing real stories from people in this community could genuinely help someone who needs it today.