me 25F and my coworker 37M kept things casual… until we didn’t
Me 25F and my coworker 37M have been in this weird situationship for almost a year now. We work night shift together as nurses, and it started off as harmless flirting and random conversations whenever we’d see each other at work. Over time we hooked up a few times and kept everything quiet and lowkey.
The problem is that he gives me just enough attention and emotional depth to make this feel like more than just casual hookups but only when we’re physically together. At work we’re extremely comfortable around each other. We talk constantly, joke around, have deep conversations, and there’s this natural chemistry between us that feels effortless. He pays attention to small things about me, reads me extremely well, and makes me feel emotionally seen in a way I’m honestly not used to.
At one point he jokingly said I had “daddy issues” and it actually bothered me because he was completely right. It felt like he saw straight through me. I think part of why I got attached is because he understands me a little too well.
But outside of work, it’s different. The energy shifts. Communication becomes inconsistent, distant, almost emotionally unavailable. I’ll catch myself checking my phone constantly hoping he texted me first, replaying conversations in my head, wondering if I imagined the connection entirely. It’s confusing because when we’re together, it feels incredibly real. Then when we’re apart, I feel stupid for thinking it meant anything deeper.
Part of me wants to tell him I caught feelings just so I can stop carrying it around internally, but I also don’t want to make things awkward at work or make him feel pressured. I genuinely can’t tell if this is a situation where someone likes me but is emotionally unavailable, or if I’m just attached to the attention and intimacy he gives me in person.
Am I overthinking this and projecting feelings onto something that was always meant to stay casual, or is it worth being honest about how I feel?