Let’s talk about trauma: Hypersexuality (⚠️TW for SA, CSEM, and similar topics)
There are all sorts of trauma responses, and MandyPTalks shared how the common trauma response is applied to Hypersexuality.
To elaborate more on this, often minors that had been violated unknowingly by their groomers/abusers can freeze from the initial touch, and “let it happen”, or they could feel “good”, which brings shame to victims often. They think since they felt good, they must have “wanted it”. That because they let the older person touch them inappropriately, that they must have “consented” to it, because they “know it was wrong but let them anyways”. That they knew better, that they knew what was happening but didn’t stop it.
But the truth is, the adults are the one who knew better. Knew better than to touch a minor, and to influence their sexuality without letting the victim explore it on their own terms. The truth is, your body is made in a way where it will respond to any stimulation, no matter who or what made it stimulated. Even machines could stimulate a person, so what was done to your body does not equate to consent, nor does it say anything about your sexuality or sexual orientation.
Minors cannot consent, simply because minors are too young to understand the difference of actually being a willing participant in sexual activities versus being a victim of manipulation and coercion. Because most predators present rape or sexual harassment as something they do to you in a “romantic lens”, that this is just proof of your love for them. That sending them your nudes (which is, by law, creating CSEM) is part of your “relationship” with them.
In conclusion, they use manipulative words to make you feel like everything in your relationship with this person old enough to be your parent or grandparent, is normal. That it’s ”natural” for you to feel a certain way with someone so disgustingly older, because they made your mind and/or your body that way. And when your brain doesn’t understand something, it reacts in different ways, and one of them is Hypersexuality. This condition doesn’t define you. Think of it as something that was forced on to you before you can even understand the full consequences of having sexual relations with an adult. (Sexual relations also include sexting and sending nudes.)
The reality is you were exploited, and now your body mistook it for a “good thing” because it “felt good“ at that moment. Not because you consented, but only because the body will naturally lubricate itself when stimulated. Again, reacting to this does not define your sexuality and/or sexual orientation. You were made to feel a certain way before you even fully understand what consent really is. You were supposed to explore your own sexuality in your own terms, but predators took that opportunity from you, and now your brain and body thinks it needs to be a certain way in order to protect you.
You are not wrong for having such a trauma response, and it’s not right to be shamed for it either. You were exploited by the ones who should have protected you. If you’re reading this, no adult in their right mind would convince you to send compromising photos of you to them. Not even out of “love”. Sending nudes/intimate parts of your body is creating and sending CSEM as a minor. Predators know this well, but all they really care about is to get something from you.
If you managed to read up to this point, then I hope you understand now that there is nothing wrong with you. Your body and mind just tried to protect you from something you weren’t ready to make sense of yet. Hypersexuality is a form of trauma response. You were being protected by YOU. So love yourself and your body, you were saved by it many times before, and it will keep doing so in the future just for you, in the form of discernment and intuition.
And remember, if any of your trauma responses starts to affect your daily life (academics, work, or just your daily way of functioning) then please seek professional help. A trauma-informed therapist will be able to help you better than a random Reddit user.
As a PS, don’t forget that groomers/predators nowadays don’t make coercion look like coercion anymore. They now use your own feelings against you. They make you believe that you have a romantic relationship with them. Words like “If you really love me, you would send me nudes” or do any sexual acts with them. They’d flirt with you, and you, not wanting to disappoint, or being flattered, would flirt back, reciprocating escalating sexual advances towards you. But NO PROPER ADULT WILL EVER FLIRT WITH A MINOR. And even if you’re in early 20’s or “just turned 18”, predators will still lurk to find victims that don’t have enough experience yet in order to exploit them. Many such cases that they’re literally only waiting for someone to ”turn legal” to date them, and you’ll see this often in the dating pool. The power imbalance and the difference in life experiences is the problem. A forty or fifty year old is nearing retirement, or have different plans in life altogether, and someone in their early 20’s is still discovering themselves. Turning 18 doesn’t magically make you informed on adult relationships and experiences. (The last photo I put in here is actually a part of my point that even those in the early 20’s are being targeted by predators.)
Keep yourself informed, and save yourself and your life from becoming a victim all over again. You deserve better.