u/Chickenbarista666

I’m a very casual person. Considerably also a very tomboyish girl. My work and lifestyle don’t require me to dress up, so most of my closet is just comfortable clothes.

However, this summer every relative of mine has either died, gotten married, or graduated. And all events tied to that require me to dress formally. Because of this, I realized it was about time that I should spend a good chunk of money and expand my wardrobe so that I have some good staples for the upcoming future. Specifically dresses.

I have not been to a mall in a hot minute. I mostly just pick up small items from the thrift. But I was on a hunt. Stores that carry actual stock with intentional styles would have what I’m looking for right?..

WRONG

I kid you not, I have checked out at least 30 different stores in the last week looking for a simple dress. My only requirements were that my chest was covered and that the dress was at least knee length. A regular, respectable, formal fit. And I found NOTHING.

Every single goddamn dress that I found looked like it was unfinished. A torn piece of fabric hanging from a hanger. Everything is backless or strapless, everything is mesh and see through, every style has absolutely no chest coverage or a plunge so deep you could considered it the Mariana’s trench, or the dresses were cut so short that walking in them would flash whoever is behind me.

I’m not a picky person but I was appalled at the lack of options given in women’s stores. Every dress was copy and paste. Not everyone is going to the goddamn club! Why do I have to dress like a grandma in order to meet formal requirements? And I haven’t even mentioned the quality yet!! Everything is made out of cheap plastic! Why would I spend $100 on a piece of clothing that looks and feels the same way a $5 item does from shein?? The only difference is the store label at this point!

I can understand that I may not be the target demographic for the clothes that are in style right now. But what happened to the basics? Why does everything need to be cropped or see through. Why does every option require me to be half naked? And it’s not like I’m intentionally trying to dog on these styles. Some of them are cute!! But why is it the only option now?? Why is there no variety. There’s so many timeless styles that I feel have been lost and I’m so enraged that if I want to dress up femininely that all the things I can buy require me to have my bits out.

BPD feels like a superpower sometimes because of how well I’m able to read people. It’s exhausting being so hyper aware of the expressions, demeanour, and tone of everyone, but there’s been so many times where I’ve been able to understand a person or interaction better and take myself out of it because of all the little things I can pick up on.

So often I find myself meeting new people with my friends and immediately getting that feeling. So I put my distance between us and act accordingly. My friends won’t listen to my “funny feeling” and get involved with said person, only for later on them to come to me and be like “how did you know?” Or “ you were right about them!”.

Even in simpler situations it helps so much. I feel like I just always know everything about how another person is feeling or what they are thinking just because I can pick up on their body language so much better than most people can.

Idk. I feel like it’s cool in its own way in terms of trying to think positively about it.

I’ve noticed such an increase of people I meet who have made the decision that they don’t ever want to have kids. I’m wondering what factors are at play that have made such a big impact on society making that a much more common choice.

Edit: I’d like to add that I myself do not want kids and there is no judgment! My whole life I was used to it being a common thing for people to have that as a goal, and nowadays I find it’s become the opposite. This question is just pure curiosity as to what other people’s reasons are!