the thing i felt guilty about turned out to be fine
my daughter is 2.5 and for the longest time i thought i was supposed to be on the floor with her basically every second she was awake. especially on my days off from work because in my head i was already gone most of the week, so i felt like i had to make up for it by constantly playing with her whenever i was home.
so on weekends i’d sit there for like an hour at a time pretending to be involved while mentally thinking about dishes or laundry or random stuff i needed to get done before monday again. then i’d feel guilty for not being present enough. if i grabbed my phone i felt bad. if i got up to clean something i felt bad. whole thing was weirdly stressful.
a few months ago i finally got up and started doing stuff around the house while she played nearby. not ignoring her, just not hovering anymore. i’d check in, talk to her when she wanted, hand her stuff sometimes, but mostly just let her do her thing while i did mine.
she actually plays longer now. like way longer. this morning she sat there moving little animals around and talking to herself while i cleaned the kitchen and made coffee. when i used to sit right beside her she would last maybe 10 minutes before climbing on me or wanting me involved in everything.
honestly maybe this is obvious to everyone else already but i think me hovering over her constantly was kind of making it worse and i just didn’t realize it at the time.