Being drawn to both Christianity and Islam
Hi, I'm a culturally Christian (Lutheran) woman in my 30s, I have been raised in the religion but my family is not hugely religious, I went to confirmation school when I was 15 and did bible study and youth programs until I was 18. In my adulthood religion didn't really play a big part in my life, but now I'm approaching my mid-30s I've had some sort of awakening and I feel closer to God than ever - first I had this keen feeling of needing and missing something, and after realising that something was faith I'm now in an active seeking phase and my heart feels wide open. I've been to church a couple of times now and felt very peaceful.
Why am I in this sub then? I have two problems. My first issue is that I do not believe in the divinity of Jesus. I'm sure he was a very wise man touched by God, and that he was a prophet, but I do not believe he is one with God and divine. The second is that I feel equally drawn to Islam - I'm very impressed and touched about how people speak about their faith, I love the practice of wudu (I'm learning to do it and it really scratches and itch about ritualistic cleansing I didn't know I had) and I've tried on hijab, been to a mosque, prayed with the other women in there and even been in some Sufi events. Tonight I tried praying on my own for the first time and it just felt right. The thought of praying on my hands and knees on set times feels really grounding to me, a moment where I have to stop and give myself to God for a moment. I've also begun reading the Quran and listening to a podcast that explains the surah but that's slow going.
But giving up your old religion is scary, and I do feel at peace in the church too. It's just... Jesus is bit of an issue to my personal faith. I do believe we all worship the same One God and just go about it differently. I'm just not sure what my way is yet.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice?