u/Claressa93

Hi everyone,

I'm a trans woman in my early 30s and I've been on HRT for a while now. I'm trying to understand my sexuality, and I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.

I know that a decrease in libido is extremely common after starting estrogen, so I'm not really asking about that. My libido did disappear for several months, but over time it gradually came back. I also went through a period where my orgasms felt much weaker, but that eventually improved too. Nowadays I can masturbate again, although much less often than before HRT (roughly once a week or even less, whereas before it was almost every day).

I'm also sapphic. I've always been attracted to women, and that hasn't changed.

The problem is that what came back doesn't feel like the same sexuality I had before.

Even before transitioning, I was never a particularly sexual person. I lost my virginity as a teenager, but then spent around 15 years without having sex and never really felt motivated to seek it out. Even back then, I wasn't very interested in conventional pornography. What I found arousing was usually more psychological or fantasy-based content rather than explicit sexual content.

When I eventually got into a relationship, I discovered that many sexual activities didn't naturally appeal to me. My partner and I found a way to make intimacy work, but looking back, I wonder if testosterone was doing more of the heavy lifting than I realized.

Now, after HRT, I have almost no interest in actual sex with another person.

It's not that I don't desire my partner specifically. I don't feel that kind of desire toward anyone.

I can still become aroused again by fantasy, stories, or psychological scenarios. I still have a libido, I can still masturbate, and I still enjoy orgasms. But I don't fantasize about having sex with people, and I don't find myself wanting real-life sexual encounters.

Sometimes I wonder if HRT didn't make me asexual, but instead revealed something that had always been there once testosterone stopped pushing me toward sex.

This has been really difficult for my relationship. My partner understandably struggles because she knows I still masturbate sometimes, but I rarely want partnered sex. From her perspective, it feels like rejection, even though that's genuinely not how I experience it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I'm especially interested in hearing from trans women whose libido eventually returned, but whose interest in partnered sex never really did.

Did your sexuality fundamentally change after HRT? Did you eventually identify somewhere on the asexual spectrum, or did you find another explanation?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Hi everyone,

I'm a trans woman in my early 30s and I've been on HRT for a while now. I'm trying to understand my sexuality, and I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.

I know that a decrease in libido is extremely common after starting estrogen, so I'm not really asking about that. My libido did disappear for several months, but over time it gradually came back. I also went through a period where my orgasms felt much weaker, but that eventually improved too. Nowadays I can masturbate again, although much less often than before HRT (roughly once a week or even less, whereas before it was almost every day).

I'm also sapphic. I've always been attracted to women, and that hasn't changed.

The problem is that what came back doesn't feel like the same sexuality I had before.

Even before transitioning, I was never a particularly sexual person. I lost my virginity as a teenager, but then spent around 15 years without having sex and never really felt motivated to seek it out. Even back then, I wasn't very interested in conventional pornography. What I found arousing was usually more psychological or fantasy-based content rather than explicit sexual content.

When I eventually got into a relationship, I discovered that many sexual activities didn't naturally appeal to me. My partner and I found a way to make intimacy work, but looking back, I wonder if testosterone was doing more of the heavy lifting than I realized.

Now, after HRT, I have almost no interest in actual sex with another person.

It's not that I don't desire my partner specifically. I don't feel that kind of desire toward anyone.

I can still become aroused again by fantasy, stories, or psychological scenarios. I still have a libido, I can still masturbate, and I still enjoy orgasms. But I don't fantasize about having sex with people, and I don't find myself wanting real-life sexual encounters.

Sometimes I wonder if HRT didn't make me asexual, but instead revealed something that had always been there once testosterone stopped pushing me toward sex.

This has been really difficult for my relationship. My partner understandably struggles because she knows I still masturbate sometimes, but I rarely want partnered sex. From her perspective, it feels like rejection, even though that's genuinely not how I experience it.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I'm especially interested in hearing from trans women whose libido eventually returned, but whose interest in partnered sex never really did.

Did your sexuality fundamentally change after HRT? Did you eventually identify somewhere on the asexual spectrum, or did you find another explanation?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.