u/Classic-Dream-1995

ttc from 13 months..tracking ovulation from last 4 cycles now..last cycle took letrozole and the lh peak went from 0.86 during normal cycles to 1.64..so I assumed that ovulation might have happened in a better way this cycle..then times intercourse also we did..my leutal phase is consistently 11-12 days and i ovulate at around day 13-14.. I was really hopeful but last night weekend started with spotting and then turned out to be full periods…at this point it has become really frustrating..my husband’s reports are fine..I have thyroid and medicines are going on..vit d levels became much better than before..I am overweight since I was born ( I am working on it but not that fully successful yet). Tubes are open tested few months back. Now will start treatment again but honestly by now I have started to feel that may be I am not made for this..I will never get those two lines..thats not for me..life is really unfair..gave this happiness to my friends who weren’t even looking for it and I am the only one left in my circle.

We have been trying with OPK and proper ovulation check from last three cycles, and before that from last one year, we were open to have a child and stopped protection, etc No luck till now. People often ask me that you did not even conceive like not even a CM.? the way they question this break something inside me, and I feel that is it something really very wrong that I never ever saw those two lines?? Before we started tracking ovulation we visited gynaecologist who performed basic tests. Everything is fine, although I am working on my weight, there are a lot of things we are doing and hoping for success. Each cycle, I feel that there are symptoms, but it ends up in periods. Then again start the tracking process. Do the thing, Wait, spot symptoms, get periods. I have just three friends and irony is that all three of them are pregnant at this point of time. My heart knows that I am happy for them, but deep down, This is really heartbreaking that I am the only one left. Even after doing everything that they might have not done. Sometimes I feel that will I really be able to conceive? I’m sorry for this long rant but I didn’t know whom to tell. although my husband is extremely supportive, and he always says that we will do whatever it takes, but you do not take any stress, ..But his parents died years ago..he lived with his relatives in younger days and have missed a lot on what we call family love. I feel so bad that I am not able to provide him that family feeling with a child till now, I feel that this pain is something that only a woman can feel and specially someone who is TTC so just sharing it with you all…