u/ClothesMysterious592

Okay, so. Im a dude that has huge crushes on fictional characters, i have aspherger's autism, and im overcoming a porn addiction. My main problem is that those characters i love, when i used to find crossover porn of them (that i dont watch now beacuse i've quit porn entirely, merely images my brain does NOT wanna drop), it made me feel very jealous, disturbed, and weirded out. I objectively know that those are just porn images and that the internet is full of them, and that it has nothing to do with the canon of it, my anexiety-ridden brain wont let that jealousy go away and wont let me enjoy said characters despite knowing its just, porn and fan fiction. How do i manage to feel indiferent about it?

You see, im 18 years old. And when i ask pepole about this problem they tell me "grow up" and stuff like that. But okay to the point. I dont know why, but i get very like, envious, rarher easily about this, when someone ships a character with their own ocs, that i ship with my own ocs, i feel like this sudden envious, toxic, urge to like, want to destroy their work, wich is NOT fine, and i also get very anxious and posessive. Due to that i cant relax when writing/drawing fanfics. Any help to this?

Okay so. You're in for a big rant and, i genuinely need help from somenoe who understands me. I am NOT okay, im obsessive about a bunch of things and im rather desperate beacuse i genuinely cannot enjoy media, why is that? Jealousy and frustration. I read a comic? Watch a series? Look at art? Play videogames? I comparate my characters to those in the media piece im looking at, be it from a famous studio, or a little guy making art they like. Shipping? Same thing, i like shipping my ocs with Canon media characters. When i see an art of someone shipping their oc with a character i have shipped. I get anxious, DEATHLY anxious, and im so tired. IM EXHAUSTED, AND DESPERATE of being unable to enjoy any media. I just need to get this envy, frustration and jealousy away. And i dont know what to do. So okay is anyone out there with a similar problem i can get feedback from? I need someone to talk with about this. Please. Seriously. I know its something fictional and that shouldnt make me worry but. I just need help. And i AM going to the psychologist.