u/Clowner_667-1

I've written a character who at some point in time purposefully destroys and buries eons of records regarding her people and her species.

So I ask one thing: would you rather be forgotten or remembered?

You're a rare species, viewed as a myth or dying. You're going to die someday and you have the control to let the future discover your history, or you can destroy it all. Not letting anyone know about your people, your culture, yourself. Anything. They won't remember you, and if they do find any remnants, you will be nothing but some myth. A story.

If you're remembered, there's a chance future historians can get your culture and society wrong—even by a smidge...or a lot. However, if you're forgotten, there's nothing to get wrong. The only thing is that nobody will remember you.

Which do you choose?

If you don't know what pomogender is, it basically means rejecting, or not fitting into one specific gender identity. It is also used for the person's gender being so complex that it's difficult to describe themselves.

As for xenogender, I identify with beetlegender.

Would it be contradictory to be pomogender but to also identify as beetlegender?

Hello. The events in which these situations happened were when I was 11-12F. We'll call my (old) best friend "Lily."

The very first memory I have where Lily touched me was when I was physically restrained by another friend because we were messing around and she was spinning us in circles. I was bothered, but I didn't mind much. We were doing okay. However, Lily took this as a perfect timing to slap my ass. Immediately, I started trying to get out of my friend's grip and even started kicking my feet back to move Lily back. I kept saying stop until I finally got out of their grip and I started crying while Lily was laughing & smiling. I couldn't handle the situation and went completely mute until the next day when I confronted Lily about it and Lily said "what? I never did that?" And no matter when I mentioned it, she always denied it.

Furthermore, I had a strict "no hug" thing. I didn't like being touched and I voiced very openly to her that I didn't appreciate it. Her response? Block the hallway during class transition, forcing me to have to find a way to navigate past her, because that was the only damn hallway that led to my next class, and if I were late, I'd be in trouble. Not even that, but sometimes she'd just force me into a hug or grab me by the waist or shoulders.

She would also take my arm and twist it—again while smiling & laughing—talking about how she could easily snap it. Alongside this, she would randomly tackle me to the ground, and if I didn't let her, there'd be a chase before she jumped on me. She found it endearing, but it was extremely painful to me & would leave my ribs feeling bruised.

Adding onto this, I always had my hair up at that age. Always a ponytail, and Lily would constantly beg me to put my hair down, joke about taking off my hair tie, putting her hands in my hair when I told her no, and talk about how beautiful I'd look if I put it down. I never thought she'd physically do anything until one day, while distracted outside for PE, she pulled out my hair tie. I immediately put my hand around my hair to make it into a ponytail so it wouldn't fall. She got upset and involved another friend of ours, who I'll refer to as "Mark." Lily began pulling on my arm, gripping it TIGHT to get my hand off my hair, but I ran away, pulling my hoodie over my head. Lily tells Mark to take it & so he does—taking off my hoodie from me by force, and the two trying to get my hair down. They took all 2 of my hoodies I had and kept pulling & pushing at me until I began crying and went inside to get a rubber band. When I went back outside, Mark handed me back my hair tie, apologizing sincerely for making me cry, even telling Lily to apologize, but all she did was give not even a half-hearted apology while not even looking at me, and being visibly upset.

Now, the most prominent situation where she did this was a memory I hadn't remembered until a couple years later, no longer in-contact with Lily, and on call with Mark. We were just ranting about Lily because she got real bad later on (vaping, drinking, being overly overtly sexual). However, Mark brought up an event I was confused about, and when he explained it, it was like the emotion was suddenly hitting me all at once from that moment. See, it's probably my own fault, but I used to wear a mask all the time. I didn't like my face & wasn't a big fan of germs, y'know? We were having our 20-25 minutes of recess outside by the football field, I was talking, messing around with my friends, and I can't remember exactly what started it, but all I know is that Lily is the one that started it. She began talking about wanting to see me without my mask, talking about how cute and beautiful I'd look...so she pinned me down, on the grass, but I kept kicking her. So she got our other 3-4 friends to hold me down by my limbs with their hands & body weight. I couldn't move. I kept shaking my head around, trying to get out. Lily rips off my mask, breaking it, and when she looks down at me, she has the biggest smile on her face. "See! You look so beautiful!" And asked why I would even want to hide a face as nice as mine, and if that was so hard to do.

Even after all of that, she still had the audacity to drag me around by my hoodie sleeves, telling everyone I was "her husband" and that we were married...WHILE KNOWING ME & MARK WERE ACTIVELY CRUSHING ON EACH OTHER.

Wrapping it all up is when she would get upset when I showed I liked Mark. Like, I lent him all my hoodies, let him wear them and even take them home, and Lily would cry about it. She took one of my hoodies without asking me, put it on, giggling & smiling while I kept repeatedly telling her to take it off. (Lily also cried because I let Mark hug & hold me, but wouldn't let her do the same.) She even got mad at Mark, telling him how it's unfair that he liked me or that I liked him since she knew me longer??? While actively being in a relationship too, she admitted that she had a minor crush on Mark, and even discussed having a poly relationship with Mark, herself, a friend of theirs, and me, without even discussing it with me or anything. They even touched Mark while we were still together at the time, but she claims she never did that or that she stopped, meanwhile everyone else says the opposite.

Lily would always downplay the situations, in a way saying I'm being dramatic or that she's changed for the better, but idk how I can believe that when everyone just says she's getting deeper into addiction & around the wrong people.

Was I wrong for getting mad at Lily for all these things? Does this even count as anything? Was I just being dramatic? I always voiced my opinions and told her to stop and no when she did these things..