u/Cold_Raccoon3259

I would be happy to talk to someone , if it mean only finding fun talking to each other without a need for deeper connection it would be enought.

I'm passionate about space , fantaisie , every thing that touch art or stories that permit to escape that world and dream a bit. Theres is also thoses small moment when colors kinda align and get i lost in it wishing i could know how it feel getting lost there with someone, i mean it can be music a small place in nature , a drawing , film , series i don't know.

I was looking for a kind and bubbly person someone that would like to exchange and escape even thought we would look pathetic sometimes laught would erase thoses feelings.

Its pathetic when you think about that in the mirror , what is that thing that don't work in my brain. I mean my mind made up stuff thought the years to avoid looking to directly at death but what this existence is even supossed to mean if you only hear silence each days for years. If the only distraction that you can do is look at that screen that you find no interest on. I was too tired to do other stuff , had a decade alone and did nothing else than rooting staying there immobile as a plant . Drug isn't even an escape tried so many times , even if my brain wasnt broken it change nothing why would colors on those grey wall matter, it work for a trip , for few trip but there is still a void of feeling , a silence that dont disapear.

Like drawings stuff i had in dreams , stories and moments that hapenned there, im gonna try to finally start music also.

I had that weird idea that if i did met her online it would have been useless like i wanted to see her smile about me for the first time , all thoses small gesture that she would have done. Those things that make it more real.

But let be honest its been more than a decade , im 27 , out of breath , i won't escape.

I hope she will find me that way , cause if she don't exist i'm gonna end it , i don't have the "strenght" that i had younger trying to escape.

I want to start feeling something so hard , smile , listen to another kind of silence, this current life is horrible , that smell , that smoke , that grey around from my pc each night while sitting doing nothing, cause there is nothing to do after all thoses years.

I gonna survive a bit more with that dream , and if i fail , it's okay i lived at least a bit, not everyone had an happy life and i'm one of them. It should stop at one point.