u/Commercial_Hyena_983

So, to explain, but without the global context it'll be complicated

Screams, violence, doors slamming etc are an heavy trigger for me

I spend the two last days with someone verbally violent with me, slamming doors etc

I got extremely anxious and stressed, I hitted myself, scratched, bit and also used knife on my arm

Anyway, I still feel shaken, when I try to relax I have the sound of the doors slamming again and again

I can't bring myself to feel better it's horrible

I had to cancel an important meeting this afternoon because, when I started getting ready I suddenly stopped, I couldn't move, I couldn't think, and I was even sicker

Now I'm supposed to work onto something, it's really important, but I can't

I'm not someone usually stressed but right now, I don't know, I feel like I'm going to do something I'll regret on myself

Okay so

During my childhood I faced incest because of my father

Then I also got assaulted by two other different boy at school

Then by a friend

Anyway, at a young age I was already very into sexual and inappropriate stuff

I don't know if I could describe myself as hyper sexual but I had relationship with some adults and it was bad

Now I thought I had grew out of it, but I'm again, seeking dangerous behaviour

I don't feel completely comfortable sharing it on a post only, I wanted to know if someone could dm and talk ?