u/Common-Wind7100

We both became single at almost the same time. After years of studying together we never had any contact because the classes are very full and split in different friend groups.

We only share the same class 2 times a week and we don't have friends in common. Whats the best way? Would you try something naturally IRL or is it better something more direct at instagram?

Im a bit shy and I find it difficult to initiate this contact when its not just two people naturally meeting each other, but I dont want to wait too long for this one.

Terminei há 1 mês e meio com uma mulher incrível. Nós dois temos 22 anos, durante o relacionamento eu fui descobrindo e criando muito ressentimento sobre o passado dela mas eu não demonstrava. A típica adolescência de uma menina muito atraente sem uma presença paterna, e muitos desses caras eu era obrigado a encontrar frequentemente. Essa não foi a única razão do término mas pesava muito em mim ela ser minha primeira namorada enquanto eu passava por situações constrangedoras.

É imaturidade minha, eu sei. Depois de terminar eu sentia que se eu não tivesse mais experiência ia sofrer de novo no próximo relacionamento com isso. Acabei transando com 3 mulheres diferentes nesse tempo mais de 1x (deixei claro pra todas que não era nada sério), e agora que a poeira abaixou tô meio envergonhado do que fiz. Só agora parece que to assimilando o término porém não tenho a pretensão de voltar. Eu sei que não devo mais nada pra ela mas ainda assim sinto um pouco de culpa e vergonha porque ainda nos amamos.

Se alguém ja passou por algo parecido eu gostaria de umas palavras

I tapped out of my relationship because I couldn't see a path of inner peace and full happiness with my ex. She had 4 years of looking for a relationship before meeting me, (we're both 22) and that naturally cause her to sleep with an umconfortable amount of guys. Including a close friend of mine (which I always knew) but as time passed, it started eating me alive.

RJ was a painful routine in my head and I fighted for a long time, but I couldn't risk more time feeling this way and resenting my partner. It just felt she could never spend some time without a bit of men validation.

But my question is: In your experience, there is partners who makes it unbearable or it is just an illusion and someone who suffers from RJ will always be obssessing about something?

I'm feeling terrible for giving up on the only girl I've ever loved. I was a bit inexperienced when we started dating 11 months ago, we're both 22 and she slept with probably 3x more people than me, and she had 2 BF's before me, while she was my 1st.

I didn't even know RJ was a problem for me since i've never connected emotionally with a girl before her. I've idealized her so much when we started meeting and the innocent questions I've made became a snowball, plus the way she felt comfortable to share some experiences which consumed me later. I realized I was surrounded by people who had experiences with my GF and resentment started growing. (Small town problems)

Dudes that I used to bump into every week, places that were supposed to be special to us but she had sex with ONS there before, when she mentioned the past she was never alone, the way she was always the first to start the flirting and being direct. And the cherry on the cake, it happened with a close friend of mine and just talking to him had a painful feeling, it became unbearable with time.

I just need some advice on how to prevent this in the future, what you really should ask a girl you're meeting to see if you can handle it? And why logic couldn't beat the emotions RJ caused me? I want to have a relationship again someday, but the process was really agonizing.