u/CompetitiveNovel8990

I need to get this off my chest because it’s been eating at me for almost a month. I started talking to a girl at work. What began as normal coworker chat quickly turned into something intense, constant messaging, heart emojis, “sleep tight”, “drive safe”, hugging each other, calling each other favorite colleagues… I called her multiple times such a cool and pretty girl. I even drove to her job after my shift just to see her. I genuinely liked her. A lot.

But there was a huge problem - she has a boyfriend. I knew this from early on., she texted me, but told me "lets just talk next day", she also skipped video calls or phone calls when the boyfriend was home. Still, I let myself get emotionally involved. That fucked me up. I felt like I was just one of her options while I was catching real feelings. I sent her a message saying she’s great but it’s too much for me and we should stop talking. She didn’t accept it. She started blowing up my phone with messages and calls, even from unknown number. Later I picked phone call and even told her once “we don’t choose the people we have feelings for” and suggested she reread our chats. Few days later I told her to "don't write or text me", because I wanted to end this emotional catastrophe for me. She later called from unknown number and I picked up and coldly said “leave me alone, bye” and hung up. Then I ghosted her. I know I was harsh. Probably too harsh.

She didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. But at that moment I was overwhelmed - the guilt about her boyfriend, the constant messages, the pressure… it all became too much. Now I can’t stop replaying it. I miss talking to her. I miss how it felt. But I also know the situation was messed up from the start. I’m disappointed in myself for how I ended it. I guess I’m confessing that I liked her more than I wanted to admit, but I handled the end like an asshole.

TL;DR: Developed real feelings for a coworker who had a boyfriend. When I tried to end it she kept pushing, so I shut her down coldly and ghosted her. Now I feel guilty and can’t stop thinking about it.

I need to get this off my chest because it’s been eating at me for almost a month. I started talking to a girl at work. What began as normal coworker chat quickly turned into something intense, constant messaging, heart emojis, “sleep tight”, “drive safe”, hugging each other, calling each other favorite colleagues… I called her multiple times such a cool and pretty girl. I even drove to her job after my shift just to see her. I genuinely liked her. A lot.

But there was a huge problem - she has a boyfriend. I knew this from early on., she texted me, but told me "lets just talk next day", she also skipped video calls or phone calls when the boyfriend was home. Still, I let myself get emotionally involved. That fucked me up. I felt like I was just one of her options while I was catching real feelings. I sent her a message saying she’s great but it’s too much for me and we should stop talking. She didn’t accept it. She started blowing up my phone with messages and calls, even from unknown number. Later I picked phone call and even told her once “we don’t choose the people we have feelings for” and suggested she reread our chats. Few days later I told her to "don't write or text me", because I wanted to end this emotional catastrophe for me. She later called from unknown number and I picked up and coldly said “leave me alone, bye” and hung up. Then I ghosted her. I know I was harsh. Probably too harsh.

She didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. But at that moment I was overwhelmed - the guilt about her boyfriend, the constant messages, the pressure… it all became too much. Now I can’t stop replaying it. I miss talking to her. I miss how it felt. But I also know the situation was messed up from the start. I’m disappointed in myself for how I ended it. I guess I’m confessing that I liked her more than I wanted to admit, but I handled the end like an asshole.

TL;DR: Developed real feelings for a coworker who had a boyfriend. When I tried to end it she kept pushing, so I shut her down coldly and ghosted her. Now I feel guilty and can’t stop thinking about it.