u/Competitive_Box5653

I woke up this morning and my vision was fine until I sat down for breakfast and I started to see white clouds and flickering lights kinda of swimming across my vision. I thought I was imagining things but now I see grey shadows in my peripheral vision, but only in my left eye. I also have trouble focusing in on texts and objects and I naturally start to see things in double. I stood in front of a mirror to see if there was anything in my eye, but I see for a moment but I feel something rushing up inside of my head then the left side of my face just gets covered by this big, grey shadow. I’m seeing all kinds of things on Google but what do you think it could be? I have an eye doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon anyway so I think it can wait but I wanted to get other opinions.

Recently, I got invited to one of my friends' birthday parties, and about 9 other people were also invited. Everyone there, including the person whose birthday it was, was Chinese and spoke Chinese, and it didn't matter if I was there; everyone there started speaking Chinese to each other. Even though I tried to jump into conversations if I ever heard a meme I knew or something like that, they would quickly go back to speaking Chinese. i know none of them was doing it intentionally and meant to hurt me or make me feel left out on purpose, but it hurt more when one of them joked that i "needed subtitles", and that i was the odd one out. she probably meant no harm by that so i just laughed and i hoped everyone would catch on to that joke and start including me in their converstations, but despite my hopes another one joked that i "already know chinese from being with them so much." obviously i didn't, but how was i supposed to just say, "actually, i don't speak chinese like everyone else here, so everyone speak english from now." i know it's the most reasonable way to put it, but i couldn't bring myself to do it simply because i didn't have the courage to and i didn't want to ruin the fun atmosphere they had going. It wasn't even my birthday, so I felt like it wasn't my place to say anything.

I thought back about it, and if they were able to joke about it, they probably acknowledged that there was a person in their group who didn't know a thing about what they were talking about, and if I couldn't even contribute to the conversations they were having, I wouldn't have gone quiet for the rest of the party. I tried my best to keep a happy face and smile because I didn't want to ruin it for everyone, again, but at some point, I couldn't stand it and didn't go to their after-party hangout. I know I sound really petty and attention-seeking for doing this, but I'm not secure or confident enough to just stand up for myself in moments like these and point things out in the moment that it happens, and I'm sure a lot of people are the same way (hopefully), and that's okay, as long as you don't let yourself get hurt by it...

We've all been friends since last year, so we're all pretty close. But at the beginning of this year, one girl felt left out and reached out to this person in this group to talk about it and communicate how she's been feeling, but it turned into a full-on fight because the person got mad that the girl didn't tell it to her sooner. Now, the friend group sort of just kicks her out and carries on, but I'm still very good friends with both of them. However, recently I've been feeling left out a lot because of what I explained above, and a lot of other things I don't want to get into, so I've been hanging out more with the girl who left. I never feel good about myself whenever I'm with this group anymore, but they're a fairly large group, so confronting them about this will land me in an awkward position wth A LOT of people. It's something that's been bothering me for a while, so I really appreciate any advice on what to do in a situation like this. I don't want to surround myself with people who I don't feel and do my best around. Thank you for reading this long rant and possibly replying :)