u/Competitive_Work3965

I 29F and my partner 31M live with his dad and step mom in their mid 60s & mid 70s (gma & gpa) We have a 4 year old and we’ve all been sick with either covid or RSV all week. (Just us 3 sick not his parents) we live on separate levels but share kitchen. It’s been a rough week to say the least. Living in a multi generational home as of this year has also been.. rough.

Lots of issues already on advice not wanted, the ways we parent (which is a lot healthier than what they’re trying to push lol) and just general boundary issues. It’s been so much for me and honestly I just do my best to not let my little one get in the way of it all and protect her and my parenting style fiercely.

That creates problems for them… I ignore as much as I can and set firm boundaries and stand up for us regardless.

So little issue tonight- GMA and GPA come upstairs to kitchen and my little one is running around house while parter and I are in bedroom. She comes and asks me to make her spaghettios, I tell her when they go downstairs I will. Gpa ends up making her canned ravioli and portions it into 3 bowls for him gma and my daughter.

She says she doesn’t want that and kinda throws a mild tantrum. She hasn’t eaten much in a few days and she is a picky eater. I had just told her I will make her spaghettios. She’s fixated on that.

I offer lots of healthy options but lately it’s been spaghettios and Mac n cheese aside from fruit and vegetables. She’s in a picky stage we are trying to survive haha. I do all the cooking for our daughter as I know what she will eat and it’s just what works for us. Less food waste and she still gets a full belly.

I offer everything else too & if she eats it great, if not we will try again. I never make her feel like she is doing something ‘bad’.

He gets offended our 4 yr old doesn’t eat what he makes (lots of BBQ & meat).
I get annoyed with the comments of oh do you think she’ll be a vegetarian? In a weird tone. I was vegetarian for 8 yrs.

They try to convince me to let her starve more if she doesn’t eat what everyone else is having. I would never do that.

They are very negative towards her if she doesn’t follow their food rules.
I reinstate it’s not up to them. They even tried not allowing her to eat until she said ‘Amen’ to their pre meal prayer at 3 yrs old.

Her dad and I are not religious but we are respectful of their religious practices & I have stated she is not to be forced to participate if she doesn’t want. It’s just not something she needs to be pressured in at 3-4 years old before she can eat.

Anyways I go to the kitchen and start a can of spaghettios and gma gets snarky & says “you’re not seriously going to make her those?” I simply say yes I am & continue on. Gpa gets upset and throws all the 3 bowls of ravioli away mid eating and they storm downstairs.

I over hear him mad saying my kid is going to grow up spoiled and she’s a brat and the world is going to kick her ass, chew her up and spit her out.

Over raviolis -

It made my kid feel awful about herself and she said sorry to me and I reminded her she had nothing to feel bad about she’s been sick all week and if all she wanted was skettios than mama will make her some.

She didn’t even ask him for food to begin with. (They are constantly making meal time stressful for her and pushing old timey rules that I don’t align with and won’t allow for her). Yet they act offended and wronged.

I feel like this was out of line and another situation where im treated like “you’re not seriously making sure your kid eats something they’ll actually eat right?”

He came back up later and started making passive aggressive comments to her like “I guess you’ll only listen for mooooommm” and “only if your mooooom makes it for you” in a very specific tone he usually doesn’t use with her. I just took her to my room.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions for this type of situation. My young kid was made to feel bad while getting over sickness over food she didn’t ask for from her grandpa. Im sensing he feel disrespected but honestly over the last year we have put up with so much more disrespect from him yet he always acts like the victim.

Edit* we moved in to help them not lose their family home. We were renting previously and they faced losing their property as neither work and are aging with disabilities. We cover finances and assist with upkeep and maintenance of the house.

I 29F and my partner 31M live with his dad and step mom in their mid 60s & mid 70s (gma & gpa) We have a 4 year old and we’ve all been sick with either covid or RSV all week. (Just us 3 sick not his parents) we live on separate levels but share kitchen. It’s been a rough week to say the least. Living in a multi generational home as of this year has also been.. rough.

Lots of issues already on advice not wanted, the ways we parent (which is a lot healthier than what they’re trying to push lol) and just general boundary issues. It’s been so much for me and honestly I just do my best to not let my little one get in the way of it all and protect her and my parenting style fiercely.

That creates problems for them… I ignore as much as I can and set firm boundaries and stand up for us regardless.

So little issue tonight- GMA and GPA come upstairs to kitchen and my little one is running around house while parter and I are in bedroom. She comes and asks me to make her spaghettios, I tell her when they go downstairs I will. Gpa ends up making her canned ravioli and portions it into 3 bowls for him gma and my daughter.

She says she doesn’t want that and kinda throws a mild tantrum. She hasn’t eaten much in a few days and she is a picky eater. I had just told her I will make her spaghettios. She’s fixated on that.

I offer lots of healthy options but lately it’s been spaghettios and Mac n cheese aside from fruit and vegetables. She’s in a picky stage we are trying to survive haha. I do all the cooking for our daughter as I know what she will eat and it’s just what works for us. Less food waste and she still gets a full belly.

I offer everything else too & if she eats it great, if not we will try again. I never make her feel like she is doing something ‘bad’.

He gets offended our 4 yr old doesn’t eat what he makes (lots of BBQ & meat).
I get annoyed with the comments of oh do you think she’ll be a vegetarian? In a weird tone. I was vegetarian for 8 yrs.

They try to convince me to let her starve more if she doesn’t eat what everyone else is having. I would never do that.

They are very negative towards her if she doesn’t follow their food rules.
I reinstate it’s not up to them. They even tried not allowing her to eat until she said ‘Amen’ to their pre meal prayer at 3 yrs old.

Her dad and I are not religious but we are respectful of their religious practices & I have stated she is not to be forced to participate if she doesn’t want. It’s just not something she needs to be pressured in at 3-4 years old before she can eat.

Anyways I go to the kitchen and start a can of spaghettios and gma gets snarky & says “you’re not seriously going to make her those?” I simply say yes I am & continue on. Gpa gets upset and throws all the 3 bowls of ravioli away mid eating and they storm downstairs.

I over hear him mad saying my kid is going to grow up spoiled and she’s a brat and the world is going to kick her ass, chew her up and spit her out.

Over raviolis -

It made my kid feel awful about herself and she said sorry to me and I reminded her she had nothing to feel bad about she’s been sick all week and if all she wanted was skettios than mama will make her some.

She didn’t even ask him for food to begin with. (They are constantly making meal time stressful for her and pushing old timey rules that I don’t align with and won’t allow for her). Yet they act offended and wronged.

I feel like this was out of line and another situation where im treated like “you’re not seriously making sure your kid eats something they’ll actually eat right?”

He came back up later and started making passive aggressive comments to her like “I guess you’ll only listen for mooooommm” and “only if your mooooom makes it for you” in a very specific tone he usually doesn’t use with her. I just took her to my room.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions for this type of situation. My young kid was made to feel bad while getting over sickness over food she didn’t ask for from her grandpa. Im sensing he feel disrespected but honestly over the last year we have put up with so much more disrespect from him yet he always acts like the victim.

Edit* we moved in to help them not lose their family home. We were renting previously and they faced losing their property as neither work and are aging with disabilities. We cover finances and assist with upkeep and maintenance of the house.