u/Complete_Tune_8436

I am a full time caretaker for my husband who is quadriplegic. Daily I get him dressed and undressed, get him in and out of bed and cook and serve all of his meals. I also change his catheter, complete his bowel program, shower him, and because he is quadriplegic, I do everything around the house, cooking, shopping, cleaning, yard work - anything that needs to be done I do it. I also work a full time job outside of the house.

We could not afford for me not to work and because I do, he qualifies for no state federal assistance (beyond SSDI and Medicare we pay for) because I make too much money. Bringing in someone to help out is not a financial possibility either.

I love my husband and this is part of the package. But sometimes I feel like the load is going to break me.

I feel so sad and humiliated I’m just not even sure how to move on from it.

They yelled and accused me of attacking them earlier in the meeting. I had not realized they felt attacked, and certainly hadn’t purposely attacked them. I was taken aback at being yelled at (especially publicly during a meeting) but apologized profusely for making them feel attacked. After yelling they left the meeting.

Though I didn’t feel like I attacked them, I did my best to honor their feelings and I reached out to apologize in private. I did my best to own it and offered to try to make amends.

I became Bahá’i in my 40s after leaving the Catholic Church with lots of guilt, shame, and trauma. At the risk of sounding over dramatic, this experience makes me feel very triggered and my inclination is just to back all the way out and stay away.