u/Complex-Door-1846

   My FP has always been really understanding about my mental health diagnoses and has been a pivotal part of the process of learning how to manage my symptoms in the wake of trauma. We have known each other for many years and have had a complicated on and off dynamic to our romantic relationship but have maintained a friendship through everything with a lot of work on both sides. 
    At present, I’ve been focused on the friendship and working incredibly hard in therapy to establish healthy patterns for myself and healthy communication with the people in my life. I was starting to feel hopeful about that progress, but last week things changed. 
    There was a situation that triggered a lot of anxiety and negative emotions for me. It wasn’t either of our faults, just a rough situation that hits a lot of particularly sensitive things as someone with BPD. I shared that I was feeling down about the situation just because they have been super encouraging about communicating when those feelings come up for me because I have a tendency to hide how I feel due to worry my emotions will burden others. Apparently this was the straw that broke the camel’s back for them.
   They have told me that I am deserving of love, that I’m valued and cared for, that they aren’t going anywhere in my life, and they have supported me through some awful stuff. I’ve done the same for them. I really thought this was a strong friendship that with continued effort would only get stronger and healthier. All I did was say that the situation was triggering some challenging stuff with my bpd, and now they have completely changed it up, saying they don’t want to keep working on the friendship anymore and that they can’t focus on everything else in their lives as much as they want to because my BPD is overwhelming for them. 
   I am trying to be understanding. I don’t want them to suffer as a result of me and genuinely only want the best for them, even if they do need to do this. I just don’t know what happened. They keep telling me that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I don’t see how that is possible with such an unexpected switch in things after such a long time where maintaining the friendship has been the stated primary goal for both of us. They say that they don’t want the friendship to end but have to take stock of everything. I am scared their mind is already made up though.
   We have a time planned to have a conversation in a couple weeks once they think about everything. They want space until then and that is okay, but of course I am panicking big time and it’s hard not being able to talk more about the situation and gain some clarity. Currently oscillating between driving myself crazy trying to figure out what happened to cause this sudden shift and freaking out because I honestly can’t handle the idea that they might not be in my life anymore. I am trying to prepare myself because I think that is probably what’s happening. DBT skills aren’t doing much to help, so I’m here. Just wondering if anyone has any advice, because this is hellish.