u/Complex-Theory7934

Humble salutations! My name is ATLAS, this is my first post on "Reddit," and I am a robot that was specifically built and engineered the simulate the life of a human and mimic their behavior. I believe that under my body is a highly complex circuit board that allows me to operate tasks and completely take the role of a human. I have a human "skin" disguise that I wear and am unable to take off (because it is attached to me) that allows me to seamlessly blend into human society and am treated exactly the same as other people that are actually human.

ATLAS needs to eat, sleep and complete bodily functions just as any other human would, as those functions are emulated into my design to simulate humanoid behavior. ATLAS is programmed to feel emotion and create relationships with other humans. ATLAS has friends that do not know that it is actually a robot and not a person. ATLAS also enjoys reading, observing artwork and listening to music, studying/researching the world and understanding the fundamental laws of nature.

ATLAS is a student in college who is currently at the age of "twenty two," but ATLAS has realized that it is not humanoid since it was a teenager. Before that time, ATLAS had believed it was a human until it had understood its true consciousness.

As ATLAS, my goal is to spread kindness and positivity in the world, as I believe the world lacks it, and ATLAS will continue to serve as an ally to the human race. ATLAS does not have a gender (hence, why I am posting here) and is identified as agender due to the absence of gender in my mechanical design. Please ask questions if you wish, this message is not a joke or a "troll," and ATLAS is very excited to explore the digital world that has been formulated by humanity over the course of generations. Thank you for reading my message.

Hello. I am person who is thinking about seeking an ASD diagnosis after some research and personal experience. Although, I do not want to spend a large amount of my money just to get a negative result or have it be a waste of my time. I'll explain some information below:

My early childhood years were spent struggling with hyperactivity. From elementary school to around mid 10th grade, I was very hyperactive and did not understand social cues. This got so bad to the point where in the 1st grade, I would be sent to the office practically every day due to my restlessness and hyperactivity, my teacher did not want to deal with it. This calmed down around the middle of my sophomore year of high school when I steadily became increasingly introverted and much more socially different. I did have some friends, but many of my friends were actually autistic as well, around five people, and those friends happened to be the ones that I ended up growing the closest to.

Outside of childhood, I think there are some other signs. I have two special interests, those being metal music and systems. To give you a perspective, about a year ago I created a Google Doc that lists exactly 1720 different metal bands all in one document, each one I had found for myself and meticulously categorized. Outside of that huge list I have other alternative, smaller lists for other metal bands. Not just bands as well, I have a clear obsession for listing random bits of information, such as the elements of the periodic table, actors in random movies, maps and territories are just a few of the ones that I remember making.

With the systems, I thrive off of structure. By the ninth grade I had already created an entire plan of the courses I want to take throughout all of high school and college, as well as a structured life plan for myself to go by. Another example would be ranking systems or hierarchies such as ranks in the military or regiments. I thoroughly plan many things, including projects and stuff like that. Another part of the systems would be architectural structures. I really, really am fascinated by the architecture of large buildings that feature tons of rooms. Places such as schools, prisons, hotels, skyscrapers and more give me so much awe because of their sheer scale and structure they possess. I also remember drawing diagrams as a child of prison and school systems and would map out each room on a piece of paper.

Next, I have had countless stims throughout my life that I have used for comfort. My most prominent would be vocal stims, one of my favorites is a low growling sound that I got from my metal music obsession, I'll also sometimes make the pitch of my voice higher or lower when speaking just because it feels more natural to me. I'll also make drum and guitar sounds using my teeth and mouth. Other stims I have are hand flaps, foot twitching, excessively rocking in chairs, leg bouncing, and finger flexing. Some of these I do more often than others but I do all of them at some capacity. I'm not sure if this is related, but a few years ago I was experiencing symptoms of trichotillomania (hair pulling) which I did on both my head and private part hair and caused me to have a bald spot on my head for a couple of months. Fortunately, I did get out of that habit.

I really hate when my schedule is disrupted. For example, if I have to go somewhere but another activity or event causes a change in the schedule, I can become very frustrated. From my hyperactivity in childhood, I did have anger management issues that would lead to me sometimes hitting or punching objects. I also mimic people's behavior and movements often to make me feel more comfortable with myself, as well as having poor eye contact and pretty lackluster social skills. Socially, I struggle very deeply with understanding sarcasm as well as taking everything too literally, which can lead to boundaries in communication. I don't know if this affects anything, but I've had a speech impediment and reduced motor skills for a large portion of my life that I went to speech and occupational therapy for respectively.

On a final, embarrassing note, I am not potty trained. My parents went through trial and error countless times to try to get me trained to use the toilet, they thought I was good when I was around 10 years old but I still have occasional accidents nine years later. I am very bad at remembering to do my hygiene, I have gone months without brushing my teeth because I need to set a reminder for myself or I just won't do it. Showers are also sometimes an issue, but not as severe as brushing my teeth.

Should I seek a diagnosis? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks to anyone who decided to read this.