u/ComprehensiveFun366

I (29F) met a guy (28M) on Tinder about a month ago. We had good chemistry and both agreed we’re not looking for a relationship, just some fun.

We went on a late-night cinema date and had a great time (lots of kissing/being handsy). We’ve continued talking since, with plenty of flirting, sexual chat and humour. But we haven’t met again in almost a month. He “forgot” about a plan to meet we made a couple weeks ago and says he’s been working late, so can’t meet yet, but “intends” to soon. His replies range from instant to 24+ hours, while he continues sending sexual voice notes about how horny he is/things he’d do to me, without actually making plans.

I enjoy talking to him and would happily be friends, but he insisted he wants to meet/have an arrangement. I’m starting to wonder if he’s keeping me around for attention/sexual chat without intending to follow through. I don’t want a relationship or exclusivity, but I also don’t want to be a half-assed penpal. Am I overthinking this, or should I stop engaging?

A couple weeks back I was at a food court/bar and went to buy a drink at the one of the stalls. I look up and I was met with the smile of this handsome man behind the bar. I thought to myself, this man is gorgeousssss. I flirted with him as he made my drink and my friend egged me on to try and get his number as she could see the flirtation between us.

We texted for a bit but he was inconsistent and disappeared for a bit. Despite that we flirted our way into a late night rendezvous. It was all very exciting and sexy. I came to know more about him, and his past… in short he has an illicit history and, as such, is not really someone I would see myself dating seriously. However it was fun to spend time with him. We were intimate but neither of us finished. It hit 4am and we wrapped up and it was home-time.

Despite that and despite the date being very much for causal purposes he was a gentleman, in many ways, including making sure I got home safe by paying for my uber and checking I got home okay. However I have not heard anything from him since, a week later.

Baring all this in mind, is it a good idea to text him to see if he’s free to meet up again and to see if he’s down for more fun? Or is his silence a clear sign he wouldn’t be up for it?

UPDATE:
I messaged him tonight and he replied, but then I tried to be too cute with it and flirtily asked when he’s gonna see me rather than being plain about wanting to meet up for sexual reasons on X day (silly energy to come with as he hasn’t messaged me / attempted to see me in over a week). So obviously he hasn’t replied to that yet.

I (29F) met someone (32M) I thought was cute and flirted with him, got his number and flirted my way to a late night rendezvous a couple weeks later. Despite the date being very much for causal purposes he was a gentleman in many ways, including making sure I got home safe by paying for my uber and checking I got home okay. However I have not heard anything from him after that (been 5 days noe).

During sex he didn’t finish, he said it was because he had been drinking. I’m wondering if he felt embarrassed about it or alternatively perhaps he didn’t really enjoy himself/found me unattractive.

Baring all this in mind, is it a good idea to text him to see if he’s free to meet up again? Or do I just wait for him to text/ let it go?