I [24F] am struggling that my bf [26M] is moving out.
I need some big sisterly advice. Or just honestly any straight forward advice. This is my first ever relationship. I have bad anxiety and I know I’m way too attached to this man. I bought a house this past year and he has been staying with me ever since. Next month we will hit a year of being together. But it’s been a year this month since being a homeowner and he’s been with me from the beginning of staying here. He doesn’t pay rent but has helped with groceries/ water bill. My bf decided he wants to stay back home for a while because he needs a new car. His car is a V8 so he’s been paying a lot of money in gas — he works really far— an hour away. He drives prob an extra 15-20 mins just to stay with me. Not only that, he has another job that makes him have to drive even more — during the weekends and sometimes on tuesdays. All this extra driving is apparently overwhelming him so he thinks staying back home is gonna save him money to get his new car that he needs. I totally understand and support where he’s coming from but I am so sad about this too. Like the person I’ve been sleeping with EVERYDAY is not gonna be here anymore. The person who kisses me goodbye and tells me he loves me every morning before leaving to work — I won’t get that anymore. He says it’s only temporary but me being an anxious person — I’m like yeah but for how long? this doesn’t even sound that serious but it is to me🥲 like this is literally my other half. Maybe if he gave me some reassurance— I would feel better about it but I don’t get nothing. He seems totally cool with it. Like it doesn’t bug him at all that he’s not gonna see me on a daily basis anymore. I even asked if we could have sleepovers on the weekends— I could come to him or he could come to me and he said “ yeah but not all the time “. Like bro idk that just doesn’t feel good. Honestly his behavior has been so up and down lately. Some days he’s showing me alot of love but the last two Saturdays he has disappointed me bad. One of them we were all supposed to go out with my family — he was literally rage baiting me acting like he wasn’t going and when I caught a VERY small attitude telling him to stop — he bailed and didn’t come. Acted like I was the problem. Last Saturday — I went out with my gf. Haven’t seen her in months. I actually haven’t went out in months because being a homeowner is no joke and it’s runs my $$$. I was looking forward to a night out because like I said I barely go out and my man doesn’t even take me out — not to dinner — no where. He was fine up until I was getting ready, he saw what I was wearing and said you’re wearing that? And made a face. Made it seem like I was being extra. I changed. I tried to show him the new fit and he said he didn’t care. The simple black dress I was initially wearing — did not compare to what the other ladies were wearing at the club. Smh. It just sucks that the person who disappoints me the most— is the same person I look comfort in. I could go on and on about his behavior the last few months but it’s still the person I wanna be with. He’s not a bad person but I just feel like he could be doing more as a boyfriend. Like I said , we don’t go on dates and he doesn’t care to take me out even though I have voiced that I wish he did. I feel like since he thinks that we see eachother every day— that it is not needed… trust me him moving back home is prob for the best but it still hurts. I hate being alone. :( I know him leaving I can try to do more things like go to the gym again like I was doing before I met him, but the thought of not being in eachothers presence just makes me sad. The “ bad “ times are rare. Most of the time we’re just goofing around. He makes me laugh everyday, he’s so silly. I just feel so lost right now. I just wish I had the strength and didn’t feel so attached to him. Sorry about the novel lol I just hope someone understands what I mean. I know I have to grow up and put my big girl panties on.