AITH for questioning my boyfriend’s reaction to my gay friend/roommate?
I’m 21, my boyfriend is 22, and we’ve been together almost 4 years. I have a very close male friend who later became my roommate and eventually came out as gay. Before he officially came out, most people already assumed he was gay because of how feminine he acted(but he said he used to like girls, but don't know if he really liked them), but since we’re from a smaller slavic country where people are still weird about these things, nobody openly talked about it much. My boyfriend and I are both supportive of gay people and have openly said we’d fully support our future child if they were gay.
One day I accidentally mentioned to my boyfriend that this friend was gay(he was talking about his gay friend who has the same name as my gay friend so it slipped when we talked). He was completely okay with it, but admitted there were still some things he wouldn’t be comfortable with, like me walking around half naked around him in the apartment, because “he’s still a man.” Honestly, I kind of understood that because I also personally wouldn’t feel comfortable casually changing around him the way I would around female friends.
Later there was a situation where I mentioned that my roommate and I might stay home alone and watch a romantic movie together infront of my bf's male friend. My boyfriend awkwardly joked to his friend “yeah, he’s kind of gay, we think,” and I got annoyed because I felt like it wasn’t his place to say that. But when we later talked about it, he said it was more his ego/insecurity reacting in the moment and that hearing “my girlfriend is alone at home watching romantic movies with another guy” instinctively felt weird to him. Later he told me he doesn't like me watching romantic/erotic movies with my guy friend, it's just weird to him and he doesn't see it the same if I watch it with girlfriend. It just not normal to him, he trusts me and trusts him, but doesn't like it.
The surprising part is that my gay friend himself completely understood where my boyfriend was coming from. He basically said he understood the discomfort because my boyfriend is still a guy and probably reacted from ego/insecurity. He never told me to stop being friends with him, move out etc. He just said some things like sexual/flirty jokes with him or certain types of closeness felt weird to him because he still viewed him as another man in relation to me.
The thing is, I realized I’d probably feel similarly if my boyfriend had a lesbian female friend he was very emotionally/physically playful with. For example, I’m very physically affectionate with my straight girl friends, we make sexual jokes, sometimes even kiss jokingly at parties, and my bf said “it’s not that I’m angry about it, but it’s also not my favorite thing ever.”
We discussed that deeply, he said he understands me on my perspective but he "doesn't care" how I see it because I kinda dismissed it at first(and opened an argument a few times, and always had "but this but that" and just dismissed what he said and that was the reason he got overstimulated by that argument) and he wanted me to see him just as man not just through his sexuality since I do see it from that perspective but just not for every action. He said like "you already see it since you said you don't want to undress infront of him or you don't want him touching you in the same way girl friends do"(bc I said I don't want to because he is still man even tho he is gay) and that is why he wants that, and I understand him more now.
All my friends said to just respect this even if it's not logical, it's his feelings and he is not stopping me from being friend with him, just to stop some type of behavior.
AITH for overthinking this whole thing and questioning it?