"As we grow older, we either become more peaceful, gentler, and more serene—and therefore happier—or we become more harsh, more rigid, and more tense—and therefore unhappier. Which path do we wish to take? Just as our choices regarding food, exercise, and lifestyle determine our physical condition as we age, our attitude determines our mental state"
(Jon Mundy)
We might think there are relationships in which we have given everything in exchange for nothing, relationships in which we have submitted to another person’s will, renouncing our own self-interested desires. It seems we have been so generous that we have denied ourselves our own needs. We believe we have loved “too much,” and, having given everything, we find ourselves empty. We believe the time has come to give to ourselves and stop giving so much to the other person. However, all of this is just a facade. Behind the dynamic of submission there is always a selfish desire. Behind our attitude of submitting to the desires of others, we are actually saying: ‘I’ll do whatever you want to get what I want.’ Put another way, we are willing to satisfy that person’s desires and expectations not out of love, but out of fear that they will abandon us or stop giving us what we want. We follow the ego’s agenda without realizing it. We sacrifice ourselves just so that person will stay by our side. That is not love, that is dependency (…)
We have to call a spade a spade. We weren’t loving “too much” but rather loving all wrong. It was just false love. True love never causes suffering. True love makes the one who loves happy. Loving without trying to get anything in return is accompanied by joy, peace, and a sense of freedom.
True love is incompatible with sacrifice, with the idea of suffering to make someone else happy. Suffering for love is a contradiction, because true love eliminates all forms of suffering or distress. We can never love too much. But we can do too much for another person in order to achieve our own selfish goals.
(José Luis Gil)
We might think there are relationships in which we have given everything in exchange for nothing, relationships in which we have submitted to another person’s will, renouncing our own self-interested desires. It seems we have been so generous that we have denied ourselves our own needs. We believe we have loved “too much,” and, having given everything, we find ourselves empty. We believe the time has come to give to ourselves and stop giving so much to the other person. However, all of this is just a facade. Behind the dynamic of submission there is always a selfish desire. Behind our attitude of submitting to the desires of others, we are actually saying: ‘I’ll do whatever you want to get what I want.’ Put another way, we are willing to satisfy that person’s desires and expectations not out of love, but out of fear that they will abandon us or stop giving us what we want. We follow the ego’s agenda without realizing it. We sacrifice ourselves just so that person will stay by our side. That is not love, that is dependency (…)
We have to call a spade a spade. We weren’t loving “too much” but rather loving all wrong. It was just false love. True love never causes suffering. True love makes the one who loves happy. Loving without trying to get anything in return is accompanied by joy, peace, and a sense of freedom.
True love is incompatible with sacrifice, with the idea of suffering to make someone else happy. Suffering for love is a contradiction, because true love eliminates all forms of suffering or distress. We can never love too much. But we can do too much for another person in order to achieve our own selfish goals.
(José Luis Gil)
“Not only do we know what is right for ourselves, but we also think we know what is right for others. This is the height of the ego's arrogance”
(Kenneth Wapnick)
“Not only do we know what is right for ourselves, but we also think we know what is right for others. This is the height of the ego's arrogance”
(Kenneth Wapnick)
"We spend our lives asking for and expecting something from others. There is always something out there that, if we had it, would make us happy. And there is always something out there that, if it were gone, would make us happy. From the ego’s perspective, everything is focused outward, that is where it wants to see the cause of our well-being or discomfort. The ego has no interest in us realizing that the cause of discomfort and well-being lies in the way we choose to see and think in every moment. We all want many things in this life, but what we long for most deeply is recognition, to be valued and acknowledged for who we are beyond what we appear to be. We have forgotten who we are, and that is the cause of our deep unease. That is the only lack we have"
(José Luis Gil)
"I know that God is with me, that God loves me, and because of that, nothing can harm me. No matter what you do to me, I know that God is with me, I know that I am safe and secure. I know that no matter what you say, even if it may be true on one level, on a deeper level it cannot be true because I know that I am a Son of God and, therefore, I am perfectly loved by my Father. There is nothing you can do or say that can take that away from me"
(Kenneth Wapnick)
“Unconditional love comes naturally to you. It is in your nature to feel compassion for yourself and for others. It is natural for you to want to reach out and comfort a friend. It is natural for you to receive love from those who care for you. None of this requires any effort or learning.”
(Paul Ferrini)
“Unconditional love comes naturally to you. It is in your nature to feel compassion for yourself and for others. It is natural for you to want to reach out and comfort a friend. It is natural for you to receive love from those who care for you. None of this requires any effort or learning.”
(Paul Ferrini)
"Prayer is an offering, a surrender of myself to become one with Love. A comforting surrender, for I renounce what I thought I was and am not, in order to become what I truly am. I was confused about who I am. I believed myself to be a vulnerable and mortal body-person, but above all guilty, very guilty in basement 13. Only by renouncing that image of myself can I accept the beautiful truth of my Being, which knows neither death nor harm nor any form of suffering based on guilt. Only by renouncing the ego I have fabricated can I accept the innocence of my Being. It is an offering of the illusion that made me unhappy so that I may accept the perfect happiness that God wants for me. It is a letting go of what I no longer need in order to accept what is truly valuable. I no longer desire anything else. Therefore, I no longer ask for anything because I have realized that I have been given everything"
(José Luis Gil)
"If I were truly happy and truly felt connected to God’s love, I wouldn’t have to cling to it with such passion and stubbornness. If I were truly clear about the direction my life is taking, or what I’m doing in my life, and if I were truly certain that love is guiding me to do it, I wouldn’t have to convince anyone. I wouldn’t have to be so stubborn about it. And I wouldn’t have to feel that if things don’t go the way I want them to, something terrible is happening"
(Kenneth Wapnick)
"If I were truly happy and truly felt connected to God’s love, I wouldn’t have to cling to it with such passion and stubbornness. If I were truly clear about the direction my life is taking, or what I’m doing in my life, and if I were truly certain that love is guiding me to do it, I wouldn’t have to convince anyone. I wouldn’t have to be so stubborn about it. And I wouldn’t have to feel that if things don’t go the way I want them to, something terrible is happening"
(Kenneth Wapnick)
“Our emotions, physical reactions, and behavior are shaped by how we perceive the world and its events, as well as how we perceive ourselves. If I feel attacked by someone’s words, no matter how hard I try to control my behavior, I will find myself overwhelmed by a whirlwind of negative emotions ranging from sadness to anger. Controlling emotions with physical strategies (breathing exercises, yoga, taking an anti-anxiety medication…) will only serve as a cover-up, a way to turn down the volume on an unpleasant song that will continue to play inside me. As long as I feel attacked, I will feel bad and want to defend myself or attack, which will make me feel worse, even if my ego tries to convince me that my attacker’s suffering will bring me relief. As long as my perception is that I have been attacked, my negative emotions will remain, and my behavior may be more or less repressed or bold, but the desire to act or refrain from acting, the desire to speak or remain silent, will remain. The only way to eradicate emotions, physical reactions, and compulsive behavior in one fell swoop is by changing my perception. This is the foundation of the miracle. It is truly miraculous that where one once perceived an attack, one now perceives a cry for help from someone who is suffering and projects the blame for their suffering onto others.
How can I achieve this radical shift in perception that allows me to see the situation in a way where hatred or sadness have vanished and compassionate tenderness has taken their place? It can only be achieved by changing the thoughts that gave rise to that perception and are its true cause. Only when I realize that perceiving an attack is an interpretation by the ego that causes me to suffer and blocks my ability to help the other by helping myself, will I be able to interpret the attack in a radically different way. Every attack is merely a lack of love. A mind that is in love cannot attack. It is impossible (...) Emotions cannot be changed unless the thoughts that cause them are changed”
(José Luis Gil)
"If you watch a young child playing soldiers, or house, or whatever, the child becomes completely absorbed and identified with what they’re doing. And they’ll get angry, sad, happy, disappointed… as if there were real people right in front of them. In reality, as adults, we look at it and realize that it’s just a toy, it’s just a game, and it has no reality and no effect on that child’s reality. Likewise, if you want to comfort a child who’s just had a terrifying nightmare, one of the things you’ll do is tell them: ‘It was all just a bad dream, and you’re still here with Mom and Dad. Nothing has changed. It was all just a bad dream.”
(...) Jesus makes us look at everything in this world that seems so monumental and so powerful and amazing because of what it can do, and he simply tells us: “Isn’t it nonsense? It’s just a silly dream in which nothing has happened. You’re just playing with toys. You think you’re playing with cannons and rifles, and with bombs that can really hurt people.” And he tells us, “It’s nothing; it’s pure fantasy.”
If you take a young child to a puppet show and the child gets upset because one of the puppets they identify with dies, one of the things you would do to comfort them is explain that it’s all fantasy, that it’s just a lifeless piece of wood that has fallen over. No one has been hurt. The child doesn’t understand because they believe what they perceive is real, even though you, as an adult, understand that it’s all imaginary.
That is exactly the position Jesus is in with us. Like an older brother who has taken all of us, very young children, to a puppet show. We sit before the puppet show that is our life, we watch what happens, and we become what happens. I become what happens to this body."
(Kenneth Wapnick)
"If you watch a young child playing soldiers, or house, or whatever, the child becomes completely absorbed and identified with what they’re doing. And they’ll get angry, sad, happy, disappointed… as if there were real people right in front of them. In reality, as adults, we look at it and realize that it’s just a toy, it’s just a game, and it has no reality and no effect on that child’s reality. Likewise, if you want to comfort a child who’s just had a terrifying nightmare, one of the things you’ll do is tell them: ‘It was all just a bad dream, and you’re still here with Mom and Dad. Nothing has changed. It was all just a bad dream.”
(...) Jesus makes us look at everything in this world that seems so monumental and so powerful and amazing because of what it can do, and he simply tells us: “Isn’t it nonsense? It’s just a silly dream in which nothing has happened. You’re just playing with toys. You think you’re playing with cannons and rifles, and with bombs that can really hurt people.” And he tells us, “It’s nothing; it’s pure fantasy.”
If you take a young child to a puppet show and the child gets upset because one of the puppets they identify with dies, one of the things you would do to comfort them is explain that it’s all fantasy, that it’s just a lifeless piece of wood that has fallen over. No one has been hurt. The child doesn’t understand because they believe what they perceive is real, even though you, as an adult, understand that it’s all imaginary.
That is exactly the position Jesus is in with us. Like an older brother who has taken all of us, very young children, to a puppet show. We sit before the puppet show that is our life, we watch what happens, and we become what happens. I become what happens to this body."
(Kenneth Wapnick)
We can be at peace because this life of fleeting pleasures, suffering, decay, and death is not real. We can rest in the truth that all the evils we see in this world, all the injustices and cruelties, are part of a dream that seems completely real to us. When the mind begins to feel unsatisfied with what the world can offer and starts to find fulfillment in true love, it has begun the path to its liberation" (José Luis Gil)
"Only through our own experience of failed happiness can we explore a new path different from the one the ego offers. First we must learn its lessons to realize that they bring only suffering; we must taste its false freedom to realize that it is slavery in disguise. As long as we believe we are free, we cannot free ourselves. Only when we realize that the beautiful golden chains that adorn us are heavy iron chains that weigh us down can we wish to cast them off. The prisoner who loves his prison does not desire freedom" (José Luis Gil)
"The transformation of the world begins with the transformation of our minds: from the shrill cries of the ego to finding our place in the still center. And when we are in that still center, everything is perceived differently, even if outward circumstances do not necessarily change. Nations may still be at war with one another. It is possible that you, or your loved one, may still have cancer, but you will be at peace. And the world will seem beautiful to you, because you will be seeing it from that place of beauty within you. Basically, this is transformation" (Kenneth Wapnick)
“Learning to love yourself and learning to love your neighbor go hand in hand. You cannot love your neighbor and hate yourself, or love yourself and hate your neighbor. Your feelings toward your neighbor simply reflect your feelings toward yourself” (Paul Ferrini)
“Learning to love yourself and learning to love your neighbor go hand in hand. You cannot love your neighbor and hate yourself, or love yourself and hate your neighbor. Your feelings toward your neighbor simply reflect your feelings toward yourself” (Paul Ferrini)