i know i love him but i don’t feel the strong “love” emotion
i’ve always been very scared of intimacy, love, relationships. i’m almost 23F and i’ve never been in a serious relationship. last time i was called a girlfriend was 6 years ago and since then i’ve had
situationships that worsened my fear of love. i got asked to be a girlfriend last week. we’ve known each other for a year, we talked most of last year but he ended things with me at the end of the year because he wasn’t ready for a relationship. in march he came back into my life confessing his love to me, and now we’re officially a couple. he is everything i could’ve ever asked for. he is so gentle and sweet and understanding and loves me the way i’ve always dreamed of. our futures align as well, and is someone i can see myself with. but i think fear is completely clouding my judgment. i catch myself nit picking and finding any reason to detach from him, to feel unhappy in the relationship. i know it’s still relatively fresh, even though we have a history of a year together. but i can’t help but ruminate through the thoughts every day. i don’t want to break up with him, but i fear that i wont FEEL the feeling of being in love ever. i know i cant tell into the future, but i can’t help but fear that something is missing. logically i know we are so good together, so you would think id be full of joy and love. i’m not sure if maybe i have too high of an expectation of what “love” feels like. maybe it’s much more subtle than its described. maybe its meant to be grown and felt more with time and it shouldn’t be a right away thing. i’m trying to not let my fear take over and do something stupid like end things or self sabotage. has anyone experienced anything similar? does it get better? how did you deal with the thoughts and doubt?