Hi lovely crocheting people! I’m trying to work out a stitch from the attached image. The picture is from a top I saw in a clothing store, so definitely not hand made, but I’d like to make something similar for DD and I just can’t work out what crochet stitch / pattern would create those mini fans.
Any ideas?
My husband and I have been together for many years and have one child. For a few years before my diagnosis, after having our child, I had already been questioning the marriage quietly in my head (and sometimes aloud to him). I had reached a point of emotional detachment where I was suffering less, mentally starting to imagine what a future separation might eventually look like.
A big part of that came from the dynamic between us: I feel I carried most of the emotional and mental load of the relationship and family life, while he poured himself into work. He’s not a bad person, and he does contribute in practical ways. And to be fair, when he is truly present with our daughter, he’s actually a good dad — engaged, playful, caring, capable of creating genuinely lovely moments with her. But I’ve often still felt emotionally alone, unseen, and like I was the one constantly holding everything together and compensating for the space work occupies in his mind and life.
We also spent years stuck in limbo over having a second child. I wanted another baby much earlier; he hesitated, delayed, avoided difficult conversations, and by the time he was finally emotionally on board, we were dealing with secondary infertility, unsuccessful fertility treatments. Just as I was to make peace with being OAD not by choice,I was diagnosed with breast cancer, shortly before turning 40.
Ironically, right after the diagnosis, things between us temporarily improved. He had this intense “we’re in this together” energy. He became more emotionally present, more caring, more connected — almost like the crisis woke something up in him.
But slowly, as the shock of the diagnosis became normalized, that closeness faded. Little by little, we drifted back into more or less the same old dynamic: his work dominating his life and nervous system, me still managing most of the emotional load, and me feeling deeply alone even while technically being “supported.”
Now I’m in active chemo treatment, and the cracks in our marriage feel impossible to ignore. He shows up physically, helps in some ways, and genuinely believes he’s being supportive — but emotionally, I still often feel alone in this. What hurts most is not even the practical side. It’s the feeling that I’m never truly prioritized, emotionally held, or fully safe to collapse.
And honestly, one of the hardest parts is realizing that even while going through cancer, I’m still spending so much mental energy wondering whether my marriage can survive this.