How do I help my autistic brother-in-law?
My husband and I have been struggling to figure out how to help my brother-in-law (27M). He’s very high functioning, but has very low self-confidence. He’s been at a local college for ~8 years now and still lives with his parents. He’s never had a job and sleeps most of the days (only awake from 10pm-6am most nights). He recently quit enrolling into classes and never got his degree.
We think he’s struggling with depression and self-esteem issues. He’s very smart and capable, but he doesn’t see that in himself (my husband and I think his parents haven’t really pushed him to do much, baby him, and let his diagnosis define him).
We aren’t really sure what to do. We’ve been actively trying to spend more time with him the past few years since the only place he likes to visit (other than his own home) is our house. He’s coming over this weekend, and we are trying to decide if/how to address our concerns.
He’s always said he wants to get married and have kids, but we’re scared that he won’t find that on the path he’s currently on. Partly because he doesn’t have any opportunities to meet people with his current lifestyle.
We want to encourage him to get a job, find something he enjoys, or maybe even get back in school, but we don’t want to be pushy or make him feel bad. Again, he’s extremely high functioning and smart. We want to help, but we don’t want to overstep or unintentionally make things worse. The main goal would be to help him raise his confidence and make sure he knows that we believe in him.
Any advice or thoughts?
Edit; We’ve also been talking about encouraging him to see a therapist or mental health professional as a first step