u/ConfusionOverall9765

I’m tired of crying each month when the tests are negative, when my period starts and throughout.

I’m tired of having to plan intimacy with my husband instead of doing it when we actually want to.

I’m tired of hearing about all my peers who “got pregnant so quickly” and will now subsequently forget about me when their babies arrive because they will just start meeting each other on maternity leave during work hours.

I’m tired of this being the only thing on my mind 24/7, wondering IF it will ever even happen or if some day I may have to come to terms with not becoming a mother.

I genuinely feel so extremely low and I am struggling to pull myself out of it when it seems like I am being taunted every month.
What will I even do if this never works? I don’t have a backup plan for if I never get to become a parent.

I know a lot of people that are pregnant and due this summer, I’m so happy for all of them but it also means I’m spending a lot of weekends helping to plan and attend different baby showers, come home and cry and then rest up for the next one.

The most recent one I went to had me feeling extremely drained as it went on all day and one of my friends family members had a little to drink and started asking if I was feeling broody and saying maybe it’ll be my turn soon (no one knows I’m trying so I can’t take it personally but it’s difficult).

I’m also worried about my friends forgetting about me or leaving me out of plans when I’m the only one without a baby.

I’m so emotionally exhausted and wondering when, or if it will ever be our turn..