I crave being single
I've (19F) been with my boyfriend(20M) for almost 4 years now. This is a recurring feeling,comes back and goes away. I just crave being single,no boyfriend or girlfriend, no situationship or anything. I love my boyfriend and he very clearly loves me and I kmow if this is the reason I break up with him it'll break his heart,any reason would break his heart and I don't want to hurt him but theres no way of leaving without hurting him,what if im making the worst choice and i ruin everything. Like even the thought of us breaking up doesn't sadden ne,and i feel so guilty about that because we've been together so long and I love him so much,but I feel like he should feel it too,our conversations are always so lackluster and I feel we talk just for the sake of talking,I don't like that.
But honestly I feel like what im saying doesn't make sense,I can't even tell my friends or family or even him because these are all people rooting for us to be togther forever and kmow what an amazing boyfriend he is and I just feel like im being a horrible person. Anyway,if you have any advice lemme know.
Please be nice btw