u/Conscious_Ad6848

**Need advice about my fiancé. Am I overthinking this?**

I (31F) have been engaged to my fiancé (32M) since childhood. Our families had arranged our engagement when we were young. About three years ago, the engagement was broken due to misunderstandings that were mainly created by his sister. After three years, he came back and approached my family again, saying that he had never thought about marrying anyone else and that he only wanted to marry me.

He has been living in Ireland for the past five years and is well settled there.

However, after getting engaged again, he asked for another year before getting married.

Now here's what is bothering me.

I had only completed 12th grade and a few diplomas. On his insistence, I enrolled in a two-year bachelor's degree program. But now he constantly pressures me to do a four-year bachelor's degree instead, then complete an MBA in Pakistan. He also keeps insisting that I learn French, even though the course is very expensive. His solution is that I should ask my brother to pay for it.

The problem is that my brother is already paying for my university fees and is carrying almost all the financial responsibilities of our family. I feel guilty asking him for even more money.

My fiancé keeps saying that he doesn't want his future wife to be "backward." He brings this up repeatedly, almost every day. He also comments on small things that bother me. For example, he once asked why I buy new abayas so often and said that one abaya should easily last three years.

Most of our conversations revolve around religion. Every day he asks if I prayed. If I say yes, he immediately asks whether I prayed Tahajjud as well. I respect religion and I pray, but I feel like I'm constantly being monitored or judged instead of supported.

Another thing that worries me is that he never talks about what will happen after marriage. He has never brought up applying for my visa to Ireland or discussed any practical plans for us living together. Everything seems to be focused on what I should study, what languages I should learn, and how I should improve myself.

I'm honestly exhausted by the constant pressure.

How can I politely ask him whether he actually plans to apply for my move to Ireland after marriage? And overall, do you think these are reasonable expectations from a partner, or are these red flags that I shouldn't ignore?

**Need advice about my fiancé. Am I overthinking this?**

I (31F) have been engaged to my fiancé (32M) since childhood. Our families had arranged our engagement when we were young. About three years ago, the engagement was broken due to misunderstandings that were mainly created by his sister. After three years, he came back and approached my family again, saying that he had never thought about marrying anyone else and that he only wanted to marry me.

He has been living in Ireland for the past five years and is well settled there.

However, after getting engaged again, he asked for another year before getting married.

Now here's what is bothering me.

I had only completed 12th grade and a few diplomas. On his insistence, I enrolled in a two-year bachelor's degree program. But now he constantly pressures me to do a four-year bachelor's degree instead, then complete an MBA in Pakistan. He also keeps insisting that I learn French, even though the course is very expensive. His solution is that I should ask my brother to pay for it.

The problem is that my brother is already paying for my university fees and is carrying almost all the financial responsibilities of our family. I feel guilty asking him for even more money.

My fiancé keeps saying that he doesn't want his future wife to be "backward." He brings this up repeatedly, almost every day. He also comments on small things that bother me. For example, he once asked why I buy new abayas so often and said that one abaya should easily last three years.

Most of our conversations revolve around religion. Every day he asks if I prayed. If I say yes, he immediately asks whether I prayed Tahajjud as well. I respect religion and I pray, but I feel like I'm constantly being monitored or judged instead of supported.

Another thing that worries me is that he never talks about what will happen after marriage. He has never brought up applying for my visa to Ireland or discussed any practical plans for us living together. Everything seems to be focused on what I should study, what languages I should learn, and how I should improve myself.

I'm honestly exhausted by the constant pressure.

How can I politely ask him whether he actually plans to apply for my move to Ireland after marriage? And overall, do you think these are reasonable expectations from a partner, or are these red flags that I shouldn't ignore?