Aita for wanting to separate with my husband due to drinking?
Wow … I never thought I’d be doing this but here goes nothing. I 26F have been with my 27M husband for 9 years. A little back story on us. We were high school sweet hearts and have been together since 2017. We started smoking weed about a year or 2 into our relationship, and it stuck with me the most. We also started drinking… at first it was casual and then when the pandemic hit at the end of 2019 we both started drinking heavily every night. Pretty much up until I found out I was pregnant at the end of 2022. So obviously I did the responsible thing and stopped both smoking and drinking completely. He would still smoke and drink here and there but nothing that would raise any flags, so I guess you could he lightened up on the drugs if you will. Fast forward to now but sometimes within the last couple of years after we had our perfectly healthy baby, he went back to the heavy drinking. Like nightly for no reason and it’s never been beer it’s the hard stuff like tequila and vodka, and anything popular basically. Sometimes I will indulge because I can’t say I don’t like to have a drink. But for me it’s like I’ll take my few shots and be done because I know my limit. My husband on the other hand will wait until I go to sleep and finish the rest of the bottle and gets mad when I wake him up early to help with our to lighten the load off of myself, as I’m our child’s primary parent. Also not mention a lot of times when we drink and I stop, and he stays up I feel like I have to walk on eggshell because he’ll keep drinking and is easily “triggered” if I say or do the wrong thing, when I’m usually just trying to vibe. It’ll turn into a screaming match like 80% of the time. And I’ve expressed before how maybe he should cut back or stop and he doesn’t seem like he’s able to do it. The longest he’s gone without a drink is a month and then after that like a week, I do my hardest to encourage him and offer solutions like stop drinking with him, him going to AA and I go with him if he doesn’t feel comfortable going alone, or finding hobbies that will help distract him from the urge of drinking. Yesterday I woke up and found him drunk in his 23M brothers room more drunk than he was the night before, we got into and I left to my moms since she was watching our child the night before anyways and told him to sober up so we could talk and that it was a boundary I was setting. It was his day off and instead of acknowledging what I said … guess what he did? He got more drunk as the day progressed completely disregarding what I said, he kept calling me to say that he misses me and loves me but I didn’t really want to talk to him drunk. Our child and I stayed the night at my mom’s house and today I sent a long message saying I want to separate. I will add he’s a great provider, and parent, he’s actually so kind and would give a stranger the shirt off of his back. It’s just when he drinks idk who he is anymore. So tell me am I the asshole?