u/Consistent_Pen1788

Hi. In January, I quit taking Lexapro after being on it for around five years on top of quitting drinking last June. I didn’t realize how bad of an idea this was until my mood imbalances contributed to a short romance imploding in the middle of last month and the subsequent spiraling out I did/am still doing.

I started therapy last Friday and saw a GP on Saturday to get back on antidepressant/anti anxiety meds. I’m now on day three of XL 150mg daily and Propanolol 10mg as needed for anxiety.

A couple questions/concerns, please:

-Yesterday (day 2), I only took Wellbutrin in the morning and had a whole day of spiraling out. I didn’t expect to feel anything right away, but weirdly I was perfectly calm and thinking about the situation rationally in the evening after dinner- like I felt like a normal person. I hadn’t eaten all day which has been typical of me forever. Does it seem normal to have it work in the PM/after food better?

-Conversely, this morning, I also started spiraling out and had to take the Propanolol because I had work. Thing’s mellowed enough that I’ve been ok to get through the day (though a bit foggy). But, I had a PB&J for lunch because I’m trying to change the bad habit of only eating dinner and now I don’t feel so good- got pretty nauseous and exhausted/foggy like I could leave work and go to bed to right now. Is this also to be expected/something that should pass?

Hi.  I (M39) had a short but really intense two-week fling where I developed feelings for someone (F32) before it broke down and now I'm trying to figure out the situation and my fault in it a few weeks later. My intention is to learn from my mistakes here and be better going forward.

For context, before we could even have a real date, our first time hanging out lasted two days/three nights at my place, and we were giggling basically the entire time.  We saw each other a few more times over the course of two weeks and everytime we were cuddling and touching each other a lot, always did hand/mouth stuff (no actual sex), and were planning different fun things to do. 

The last time she came over, she was initially all over me and straddling/kissing me on the kitchen floor.  I tried making a pass like ten minutes later by playing with her breast while we were cuddling on the couch/watching a movie and got shut down. I was pretty confused as we were just hot and heavy a little bit ago and had previously messed around a lot, but I let it go and stopped immediately as I figured she just wasn't in the mood.  A little later, I tried rubbing her thigh affectionately.  This didn't feel like making a pass to me and didn't feel out of the ordinary from previous cuddling, but apparently it did to her and she told me to stop, which I did immediately.  A little later, I honestly accidentally put my hand on her breast while we were spooning.  She didn't believe me that it was an accident and demanded space.  After the movie ended, she fell asleep on the couch after saying she'd come to bed in a little bit.  I woke her up and tried asking her to talk about it, but she just snapped.  When she eventually came to bed, I couldn't sleep, as I was upset to have someone in my bed that didn't want to be there.  I tossed and turned all night and accidentally kept her awake.  She stormed out in the morning, again refusing to talk about what happened.

After taking a couple of weeks to cool off, I did send her an apology text to say that I was sorry for crossing her boundaries and keeping her awake- even if this was, to me, a matter of misunderstanding my intentions, she was still uncomfortable and still deserved an apology. She responded that she appreciated it, but I'm still an absolute about it because I do still strong feelings for her.

Basically, I'm not sure if there were mixed signals from her and the breakdown was on both of us or was I entirely in the wrong here? And what should I have done differently?

Hi.  I (M39) had a short but really intense two-week fling where I developed feelings for someone (F32) and now I'm a mess now that it's over. Before we could even have a real date, our first time hanging out lasted two days/three nights at my place, and we were giggling basically the entire time.  We saw each other a few more times over the course of two weeks and everytime we were cuddling and touching each other a lot, always did hand/mouth stuff (no actual sex), and were planning different fun things to do.  It seemed like a relationship was blossoming.

The last time she came over, she was initially all over me and straddling/kissing me on the kitchen floor.  I tried making a pass like ten minutes later by playing with her breast while we were cuddling on the couch/watching a movie and got shut down. I was pretty confused as we were just hot and heavy a little bit ago and had previously messed around a lot, but I let it go and stopped immediately as I figured she just wasn't in the mood.  A little later, I tried rubbing her thigh affectionately.  This didn't feel like making a pass to me and didn't feel out of the ordinary from previous cuddling, but apparently it did to her and she told me to stop, which I did immediately.  A little later, I honestly accidentally put my hand on her breast while we were spooning.  She didn't believe me that it was an accident and demanded space.  After the movie ended, she fell asleep on the couch after saying she'd come to bed in a little bit.  I woke her up and tried asking her to talk about it, but she just snapped.  When she eventually came to bed, I couldn't sleep, as I was upset to have someone in my bed that didn't want to be there.  I tossed and turned all night and accidentally kept her awake.  She stormed out in the morning, again refusing to talk about what happened.

I texted her "I'm sorry" about an hour later and just a housekeeping message for something she left behind a couple days later to no reply.  I then saw her out and about after a week and a half and we kept to opposite ends of the room, not acknowledging each other outside of some brief and sad eye contact.  A few days after that, I texted her an apology specifically for crossing her boundaries and keeping her awake, and she replied that she appreciated the apology and would come to pick up what she left behind "some day." I'm trying not to take this as a sign of anything, but I'm glad that she was at least willing to communicate that much.

I'm still a mess over the whole thing for a variety reasons:

-We're in some of the same circles, so we'll definitely see other again sooner than later and I'm not sure how to play that other than by ear.

-I really feel like things wouldn't have gotten out of hand if we could've just talked about things when they happened.  While I do feel terrible that I made her uncomfortable and blame myself for that despite what I felt were mixed signals, I really do feel like this was a misunderstanding about my intentions and we could have worked it out if we only talked about it. Idk, does this sound like it was mixed signals? I really try to respect everyone's boundaries even to a fault with people I've dated previously, and I'd like to learn from this for the future.

-I really do have strong feelings for her.  Even though it was a short time, I never met anyone that I was ever so strongly attracted to, both physically and as a person and the times we had that were good were some of the best I've had in a very long time.  I really want to ask her for a second chance, but I know that's not a good idea. Some small part of me hopes that we can eventually give it another try, but for now, I'm focusing on myself.

I'm starting therapy this week to figure things out my life generally, but this will be something that will come up.  I'm just not sure how to handle my feelings in the meantime.