u/Consistent_Spirit_33

I’m currently waiting in the children’s hospital as my child is having their MRI. He just went back to the scanner about 10 minutes ago.

Nystagmus started a year or so after eye surgery. It started in the evenings if he was really tired. Sent a video to his care team and they scheduled an MRI to rule out a brain tumor. He keeps gaining weight too fast. His arms and legs have been sore. His eyes are now side to side at random times and during the day.

I’m so scared. Tell me it’s not my worst fears. Tell me the symptoms are coincidental.

Please give me any advice on how to help him

I struggle with understanding what is true and what is not when it comes to my ex. For 10 years I was told I was the problem for his behavior. He and his family treated me badly in private. So I tried harder. I put in soooo much work with him, his family (we didn’t live near any of my friends or family -had to make new), the kids, and myself. He would devolve into extremely violent behavior at least every 3-6 months. Especially if I was looking forward to something, he would relapse.

I had to move states after the last attack. It’s been three years and the kids and I are doing so much better. Life is easier, even though I had to start from scratch and had some set backs.

The kids saw him in person for the first time since we moved. Apparently he is doing great. So great, in fact, he has figured out his issues. He told my youngest “my body was filed with rage. But I got a diagnosis and take one pill and I’m all better now”. Youngest told me, “dad’s better now. He’s calm.”

So here’s where I need your help. I begged him to get mental health help. He was diagnosed as bipolar 2 and then bpd and now he is saying autism. I’m not sure what his actual diagnosis is so it may not be anything I mentioned. But does anything cause DV behavior and one pill fixes it?

I do think I did the right thing in leaving. He wouldn’t get help/help himself. He became an alcoholic about 2/3 through our marriage. But I’m struggling to accept there was an “easy answer”. It makes me rethink if I was the problem and why I couldn’t figure it out.