u/Constant-Iron-4661

We had a very loving break up. We saw each other once where he was shaking and having a hard time looking at me, then kissed me and said “sorry I thought you would want that” then we had a closure talk and he was absolutely undone, nothing I’d ever seen.

We ended up having sex and there was this moment he looked into my eyes and froze. It was like he staring into my soul and did not move for like 30 seconds, a facial expression I have never seen on him before. He didn’t break eye contact and his facial expression looked so pained. I started to get scared because I thought maybe he was about to have a stroke. It was so intense.

Then afterwards he just stared at me and his eyes were so red and its was just so different than anything else before.

As I was leaving he kissed me and told me loved me over and over again. Was it just that since it was ending he felt safe to let it out? It was the most love and connection I’ve ever seen from him.

My avoidant and I have been on and off. We started seeing each other more than a year ago, when we first started seeing each other and nothing was defined although I could tell he really cared and he opened up to me about being avoidant and that is something he’s been trying g to figure out. We ended up ending things because he couldn’t commit and then he came back 3 months later and really faught for me back. He wanted to try for real and said he could t stop thinking about me. While we were in a relationship there was a lot of push pull and connection issues. Whenever we would take a step in our relationship, he would step back. Recently he met my kids and even though I communicated with him about this and he reassured me he was happy, although nervous, he completely pulled back in the last couple weeks and we ended things because of the kids. He has been very confused and conflicted and even made a therapy appointment. I know kids are a big deal and maybe it’s just me being hopeful but knowing how scared he gets, I don’t think it’s that. What is frustrating to is the similarities to the first time we ended things. Same month, right after we started getting really close, just it’s so similar.

THE INTENSE MOMENT
We ended up having sex during our break up and while he was on top of me, he froze, he looked so pained and just stared into my eyes. I tried to move my hands but he wouldn’t let me and he just stared into my soul it felt like. I’ve never seen that look on his face before . I started to feel scared like he was having some kind of medical emergency. I ended up kissing him and kind of snapped out of it. What was this?
He seemed distraught and I’ve never seen this emotion from him ever.