u/Constant_Bake_6410

This girl came back from "Study Abroad" in Japan talking about how the Japanese girls there always told her she was the most beautiful because she's blonde and has a the most beautiful "side profile" with the correct x-to-y ratios (i forget the terms, but it was the kind of stuff Clavicle talks about on tiktoks).

She's just making that up, right? All that discourse seems to be more about European features, so it seems weird to me that Japanese people would think those particular forms would be what they should aspire to...

NOTE: I have extremely limited experience with apps

40m; matched with 33f, U.S.

I was matched with someone before who suddenly stopped replying. After a week of hoping she'd reply, I moved on. It's made me realize I need help understanding the norms of app dating.

Now I've matched with a second woman. Though our exchange was super brief, I wonder if I'm making the same mistake.

In this case, she complimented me, said I seemed cool, explicitly said she was interested to know more, and asked a couple questions about my life. I responded with a 90-second voice message answering her questions and asking a couple of my own. It's now been almost 2 days without a reply (not that long, and it is the weekend now, I know...)

My questions are:

1. In general, what's the etiquette around asking for phone numbers and arranging dates? Does a sign of interest from a woman usually mean she wants me to move things forward fairly quickly, or is it normal to spend more time talking on the app first?
2. In this specific case, would a brief follow-up be reasonable? I was considering something simple along the lines of saying I'm checking back in because I was hoping to get to know her and offering my number in case she'd like to communicate off the app.

The issue isn't so much this particular woman. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm misunderstanding the norms and setting myself up to repeat the same mistakes with future matches.

Transcript:

Rodrigo: [straight-forward compliment on her demeanor and appearance, asking her to match]

Match: Hii! Gladly. Love your vibe, nice to meet you 😄

Rodrigo: It's a thrill to match with you. This makes my evening. I enjoyed the earnestness and the hints of sentimentality in your profile.

Rodrigo: Are you [ethnicity of her name], btw?

Match: Aw thank you 😊 I appreciate that. You seem really cool and have a light air about you. I’m interested to know more

Match: My dad is [ethnic origin], he immigrated here in the late 80s. [brief joke about how she doesn't really have much connection to that] lol

Match: How long ago did you move to the area? Do you like being out in nature?

Rodrigo: [90 second voice clip answering her questions and posing one or two of my own...]

NOTE: I have extremely limited experience with apps

40m; matched with 33f, USA.

I was matched with someone before who suddenly stopped replying. After a week of hoping she'd reply, I moved on. It's made me realize I need help understanding the norms of app dating.

Now I've matched with a second woman. Though our exchange was super brief, I wonder if I'm making the same mistakes.

In this case, she complimented me, said I seemed cool, explicitly said she was interested to know more, and asked a couple questions about my life. I responded with a 90-second voice message answering her questions and asking a couple of my own. It's now been almost 2 days without a reply (not that long, and it is the weekend now, I know...)

My questions are:

1. In general, what's the etiquette around asking for phone numbers and arranging dates? Does a sign of interest from a woman usually mean she wants me to move things forward fairly quickly, or is it normal to spend more time talking on the app first?
2. In this specific case, would a brief follow-up be reasonable? I was considering something simple along the lines of checking back in because I was hoping to get to know her and offering my number in case she'd like to communicate off the app.

The issue isn't so much this particular woman. I'm trying to figure out whether I'm misunderstanding the norms and setting myself up to repeat the same mistakes with future matches.

Transcript:

Rodrigo: [straight-forward compliment on her demeanor and appearance, asking her to match]

Match: Hii! Gladly. Love your vibe, nice to meet you 😄

Rodrigo: It's a thrill to match with you. This makes my evening. I enjoyed the earnestness and the hints of sentimentality in your profile.

Rodrigo: Are you [ethnicity of her name], btw?

Match: Aw thank you 😊 I appreciate that. You seem really cool and have a light air about you. I’m interested to know more

Match: My dad is [ethnic origin], he immigrated here in the late 80s. [brief joke about how she doesn't really have much connection to that] lol

Match: How long ago did you move to the area? Do you like being out in nature?

Rodrigo: [90 second voice clip answering her questions and posing one or two of my own...]