u/ConstantlyCuriousCat

I’m about a month since my last treatment (Brainwave, deep TMS, 36 sessions, 5 times a week then tapered). I came into this tentatively hopeful, but honestly, just willing to try just about anything because I react so strongly and weirdly to every little ssri med shift (and my current meds stopped working).

Unlike a lot of people I had a positive impact almost immediately. I was really tired after my first session and on and off after a lot of sessions, but otherwise didn’t really have any side effects. I was gentle with myself and gave myself permission to just rest and vibe whenever I could and felt I needed to (which for someone with anxiety and an overachieving complex, is quite hard it turns out…)

I had some headaches and migraines but not any more than I normally do. No way to really know if they were related. One really bad one but again, I get about one bad one a year anyway.

When I started, I was more depressed than I have ever been. I basically hadn’t left my house or talked to anyone for months beyond very short spurts. I’d lost interest in everything and even stopped caring about work and whether I would get into trouble if I stopped doing work (again, basically unheard of for me. My anxiety is normally strong enough to convince me to work, and I genuinely love what I do.)

By the first week, I was doing some work again. By the third, I was doing some hobbies. By the end of treatments, I was less depressed than I had been in 10 years.

I felt so good I asked to go off my ssri and my psych agreed. I am still tapering that (I had 150 mg of Zoloft and have to taper slowly since I react so much). I have had more weird side effects during this period by far, but not much depression. More loss of appetite and occasional anxiety spurts. No idea if I will end up off them or not but I start my 50 mg dose next week so I am cautiously hopeful!

I know I came here a lot to decide if I should try TMS, so I am posting in case it helps someone else. I can’t emphasize enough how much this has helped me. I had to pay the whole thing out of pocket because US insurance is a dystopian nightmare, but it was 100% worth it for me. (Though to be clear, I could go this while paying essential bills still because of savings. I am not saying it would have been worth missing rent.)

I feel more like me than I have since college. It’s WILD but in the very best way.

No idea if my depression is “cured” or in temporary remission or if it’s just on holiday but I am so thankful I have this weird ass treatment a shot.

Happy to answer anything I can!

I started TMS about two weeks ago and it has felt like I am doing better but I was honestly really afraid it was a placebo effect. I know for a lot of people it takes the whole treatment or longer to feel progress. (And I also know a lot of people have a “dip” at some point so uh… not looking forward to that)

There are so many posts on here about what didn’t work, so I wanted to help spread a bit of cheer today. My first depression score was 20/27 and my most recent was only 6/27! I’ve been getting work done pretty effortlessly (which used to be my norm) and enjoying things again. I’ve been making plans and sticking to them and generally just feeling a lot more like myself than I have in MONTHS. Maybe years??

There’s still a long way to go, but today, I am celebrating the little wins. 🎉

I started TMS last Wednesday and did a massive amount of research on it for about a month before that. (I’m an accessibility journalist and research nerd, so it’s basically what I do anyway.)

I know I had about a thousand questions, and this forum was so helpful. Would love to return the favor by answering anything you might want to know about your first week or two while it’s still all fresh in my head.

A quick rundown of my experience so far:

I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD but am treating with TMS for depression specifically.
I kept taking all my meds so far (Zoloft & Adderral specifically)
I got to 120% yesterday and was told I started out with a very low threshold (33, I believe) which means I have a high tolerance for the pulses.
During mapping my finger barely twitched even in the strongest parts. Like it definitely did but it was nothing dramatic.
At about 95% my jaw started moving with the pulses which I didn’t love. My coordinator told me to eat a jolly rancher and it would help. It did. Turns out that a strong taste helps distract the nerves. I don’t need to put it between my teeth or anything. Just have it in my mouth.
Talking is the best distraction for me and I genuinely don’t notice treatment passing. Biggest issue is I am an animated talker so sometimes they have to readjust the helmet, but my coordinator doesn’t mind.
I had like four different people run my treatment because of someone being out and someone else being trained. Each one did it a bit differently.
Nothing has ever hurt and my coordinator immediately fixed even mild discomfort.
I was tired after my second and third treatments. I took my version of a nap even which is unheard of for me. No side effects since.
I got lightheaded and nauseous on third treatment day when I hadn’t eaten recently. Every other day it hasn’t been an issue, so I recommend eating a snack right before.
The chin straps don’t have to be tight. The first person made them really tight and I got claustrophobic. Since then I found out they can be fairly loose as long as they’re still doing their jobs. It’s MUCH better.
If you overheat or get claustrophobic easily, ask them to turn on he helmet AC on as soon as they put it on you. They didn’t for me at first so I didn’t know it was coming. I felt MUCH better with it on.
I do use earplugs but can still hear enough to have a conversation. Sometimes I just work or play on my switch.

I’m starting TMS finally on Wednesday and I am weirdly more excited than nervous. The science is really interesting to me and I am optimistic I’ll respond to it better than I have to meds (cause I am SUPER med sensitive).

That said, I’m curious if you guys have any advice for a newbie? Things you wish you knew to do? Bring? Mistakes you made your first weeks or additions or changes that really helped?

Will take any and all advice. Nothing too scary please just because I am trying not to get anxious but still happy to know if adjustments helped when things weren’t ideal in some way.