I, (22F) was previously in a situation with someone I met online (24M). Just for a brief context, we did meet on a dating app but started off talking as friends. After meeting him person it was clear he was interested in more. We made out and did some handsy stuff on the first date but that was the extent of it.
Personally, I wasn’t super physically attracted to the guy but we had a great time together nonetheless and I offered to extend our friendship. He’s also intl’ Chinese guy and right now my life is not conducive to navigating that kind of complex relationship.
I made it VERY clear from the get go that I 1. Wouldn’t be having sex and 2. Was not willing to be in a relationship with him. He said he was okay with that despite his feelings so we continued to hang out. We only met up around 3 three times throughout the extent of around 2 months because both us had been busy.
Now for why I’ve called him crazy:
He had driven an hour to my school to pick up some things I had of his (like a necklace that had ended up in my bag) because it’s hard to find time to return things. When he arrived, we was super super drunk and basically screaming that he “loved me” in the streets around where I lived. His two friends were there but basically left me to tend to him while they just watched and laughed. I called him “crazy” for 1. public intoxication and 2. for being obnoxious.
Then fast forward to last week, I go out with friends on a Wednesday night because I’m graduating soon and have a couple drinks. I sent a voice message just kind of highlighting my night (although I was drunk and my Chinese isn’t the best so maybe it wasn’t understandable) and this person starts to blow up my phone saying things like “idk why you would do that,” “I don’t even know who you’re with right now,” in which case I called him “crazy,” for assuming I’m with “unsafe people” (men) and because it’s frustrating wanting to just share a fun night with someone and them being worried about “who you’re with.” For a bit more context: Anytime I go out, it’s to dance and have fun with friends, and never to talk to men let alone do anything with them. He wasn’t explicit about meaning this in his statement at the time, but nonetheless my assumptions were partially correct.
Ultimately he was super offended that I called him crazy both of these times.
Side note: He also got angry that I decided to change hangout plans from a Tuesday to Friday claiming that I didn’t prioritize him and and that American’s are all “me, me, me, I, I, I”, and basically gaslit me into feeling guilty for changing plans.
And I’ve been explicit about my boundaries from the get go although there are times when he’s said “I’ll wait for you,” or “are you sure you don’t want a relationship?”
Anyway, AITA for calling him crazy for the way he acted. I apologized because I felt really bad after I realized I’d hurt him, however he’s decided recently to not communicate with me so I doubt he’s seen it.