u/Content-Sympathy-686

Me(31 F) and my fearful avoidant ex fiance(29 M) have been broken up for 6 months now. We were still emotionally and physically connected until 2 weeks ago. I finally put my foot down and said we needed to be no contact and put space there if he did not see reconciliation in the near future but made sure to include that I would still be in our dog's life and would make arrangements to not have to see him when I picked up and dropped off our dog. I was out of town for 10 days and he got on dating apps only while I was gone and then deleted them when I got back and yesterday he sent me a text saying I couldn't see our dog anymore and when I contested it, he said "you need space. I need space. This is what that entails and this is what we agreed upon." And then went into how we wouldnt be co parenting our dog for the rest of his life. Is this an act of retaliation? I'm so confused what is going on. He concluded the conversation by telling me he loves me.

Me and my avoidant ex were together 6 years and engaged for 2 after the most recent discard. For the last 5 months we've been back and forth with the hot and cold and every time I ask for clarity he says "I'm not planning on getting back together." He still wants to keep me at arm's length so I'm planning on sending this and then blocking him. Thoughts?

"I think some space is probably the healthiest thing for me right now. Staying emotionally connected while not moving towards reconciliation has become really hard on me and I've been holding onto hope. There may be a happy medium somewhere along the way but I am not going to watch you move on right now. I’ve realized through all of this that the kind of changes needed for this relationship to work in the future can’t fall on me alone. I’ve spent a lot of time in therapy, reflecting on myself, how I communicate, and how I needed to grow, and I think that was important to be a great partner and wife. I know that it can't be a one way street and it takes 2 people doing the work to be successful and happy. I want to be honest about this so there isn’t ambiguity between us at any point. I respect that we aren’t together, and I’m not trying to control what you do, but for me personally, if either of us becomes sexually involved with someone else, I would no longer see reconciliation as something I could come back from emotionally. I know we established those boundaries previously and I believe you feel the same about it. If not, I'd rather know now. I’m not saying any of this to pressure you. I just wanted to be honest about where I’m at and what I need in order to protect my heart moving forward, especially if we continue a physical relationship. I do love you unconditionally, I truly, truly do, and I probably always will. But I can't watch you erase me from your life while I'm still emotionally in this. I think we both need time and healing. I still believe reconciliation is possible someday, but it would take real change, time, and effort from both of us. I don't expect a long reply, but I would like some sort of acknowledgement that you understand."